iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,482 Blog Posts

Digging Up the Olde Yard

It started as a side project where I was gonna “dig up a few weeds and then place compost and top soil over the yard and re-seed it for next year.” But as I got into the yard and became disgusted by it — I ended up digging the entire fucking yard up — creating a muddy mess as the last vestiges of summer brought with it a furious rain storm.

My neighbors would pop in to check on what I was doing, which I’d reply “building a corn maze” or “planting some corn — gonna need it for the winter.”

The HOA is likely writing a furious letter as we speak.

I am nearly done and my fingers feel paralyzed from all of the tilling and hoeing and shoveling that was done — but I am nearly done. All I need to do now is bust open the bags of COW MANURE, top soil and peat moss — and then lay it down via a landzie device. And then I will add ammonia nitrate and seed.

As you can notice, I don’t give a fuck about stocks today. I’m +4bps in genteel “doing my lawn today so fuck off” trading.

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2 comments

  1. soupbone

    Up our way, a different approach is used, one buys the mower to suit the lawn. That mower is a roads department grade push mower with side discharge and big throw. Sapplings and road debris easy peasy. Then mow over everything including small branches, the more crackling sounds the more satisfactory. Whatever remains is lawn.

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  2. belly of the beast
    belly of the beast

    My Uncle Louie in the can could have had the Feds loosen up the soil for you ….

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