iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,515 Blog Posts

JP MORGAN SLASHES GDP EXPECTATIONS TO 1%; RECESSION LOOMS

Oil is on the verge of spilling over and soiling markets, quite horrible. At the same time, crypto-fags are running absolutely rampant, naked even, throughout the streets. It’s a fucking zoo out there, believe me. What is BTC up another 7% tonight? That fucker is clearing its way towards 9,000. I can almost guarantee BTC will be hitting record highs soon. My pick is ELF coin.

On the matter of GDP, according to JP Morgan, it’s going to be milquetoast.

J.P. Morgan economists slash their outlook for second-quarter growth to just 1% from a previous 2.25%.

The economists also change their view that the Fed’s next move was an interest rate hike, and now believe it has an equal chance of cutting or raising rates.

The two threats to U.S. growth are global economic developments and the uncertainty of the trade war impacting business sentiment and activity.

Markets aren’t pricing in 1% GDP growth. We’ll need stocks to drop 20% from present values to accommodate such shit-tiered growth.

I just got back from a long day at Duke Farms — where I bicycled and suffered, immeasurably, under the pollen and the flowers seeping into my skin. I could barely breathe after an hour or so, but I’m stronger for it. I had a cheeseburger sandwich and now sitting down about to drink a large fucking mug filled with coffee.

Good day to you.

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16 comments

  1. acehood

    A cheeseburger is not a sandwich.

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    • metalleg

      A hamburger is indeed a sandwich.

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamburger

      Fly, you don’t need to suffer. Try Claritin-D and Flonase.

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      • omfgitsjd

        In Hamburg, the word Hamburger means resident of Hamburg. Same thing if it were called a New Yorker. In retaliation, the more rabid vegans in Hamburg are calling them Americaners.

        This 1% GDP projection means many will seek haven eating a bear claw burger (ground angus atop a bear claw donut, pulled pork, smothered with macaroni and cheese, and coleslaw toppings).

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  2. helen

    Happy BD LE Fly!

    Here are two BD gifts for you;

    -Buy JNUG and hold it
    -Do testmyallergy.com DNA test. You might find a solution to your allergies.

    Cheerio

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  3. bronze28

    after that INTRO;…. good day to you???

    are you fucking kidding?

    can we expect a 500-1000 point drop on Tuesday??

    not joking.

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  4. Bullish

    Just buy stocks and forget about it.

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  5. mad marsupial

    Just mix some nettle root, quercetin, bromelain, and butterbur extracts, then chop your nose off. Happy Memorial Day.

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  6. moosh

    It still cracks me up when I think about when someone on here posted medicinal advice about how they followed a protocol where drinking turpentine was their cure all for everything. Posted a link too

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    • cancel19

      Ever tried pine rosin cooked whole potatoes? Google that. They will be the best fluffy potatoes you would have ever eaten.

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      • moosh

        Interesting stuff, thanks! Upon quick recipe search – DO NOT BREAK THE SKIN; if you break the skin, you cannot eat that potato

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  7. mx2101

    Selfishly, and provided I remain employed, I’d love to see the stock and housing market crash.

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  8. monkeybot

    DASH coin = superior, secure, off-the-fiat-grid real-time transactions case study already playing out in Venezuela….

    https://www.cryptopolitan.com/dash-price-analysis-27-may-2019-will-dash-reach-5000-by-2025/amp/

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  9. arianapham

    There are very interesting question and very positive thinking in futsuu ni naritai your mind so i like this topic so i one suggestion we can use it now bing

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