What are you still doing here and why aren’t you logged into your Coinbase account to trade some Rare Pepe Cash? I’m days away from publishing my new book — about 33,500 words, so if you haven’t read the first part and want to get Grandma a nice Xmas present, buy it now. Once I get iBank Bitcoins up and running, the rare art on that book cover will be worth millions alone. Just think about all of the money you can make on the iBank Bitcoins are will spill out into the world, introducing the younger generation to “The Fly” and his violent ways.
***BITCOIN IS NOW AT 15,375 YOU BASTARDS***
For those keeping track, this is how long it has taken the cryptocurrency to cross the key psychological levels:
$0000 – $1000: 1789 days
$1000- $2000: 1271 days
$2000- $3000: 23 days
$3000- $4000: 62 days
$4000- $5000: 61 days
$5000- $6000: 8 days
$6000- $7000: 13 days
$7000- $8000: 14 days
$8000- $9000: 9 days
$9000-$10000: 2 days
$10000-$11000: 1 day
$11000-$12000: 6 days
$12,000-$13,000: 17 hours
$13,000-$14,000: 4 hours
$14,000-$15,000: 10 hours
Total market value of cryptos is now $410b.
Listen, I’m very busy right now and do not have time to cater to your every whim. There’s lots of ways to make money today — just quit dicking around and pay attention for once, will ya?
Here’s some news to start your day.
SAGE +46.9% (reports positive top-line results from phase 2 placebo-controlled trial of SAGE-217),
Tesla: Anheuser-Busch InBev (BUD) placed order for 40 TSLA semi-trucks
Galectin Therapeutics target raised to $10 at H.C. Wainwright — The market gets it wrong, again
Mellanox Tech target raised to $70 at Stifel
Edwards Lifesciences reaffirms FY17 outlook, provides FY18 projections, approves new $1 bln share repurchase program
Lam Research upgraded to Buy from Neutral at Nomura
Shake Shack upgraded to Equal-Weight from Underweight at Morgan Stanley
Commercial Metals upgraded to Buy from Neutral at BofA/Merrill
Ctrip downgraded to Neutral from Overweight at JP Morgan
Cummins initiated with a Outperform at Oppenheimer; tgt $192
Yelp downgraded to Underweight from Neutral at Piper Jaffray; tgt lowered to $37 from $38
Goldman Sachs target raised to $300 from $290 at BofA/Merrill; Added to US 1 List