iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
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Vegan Life: Eating a Grotesquely Large Bagel with Margarine and Black Coffee

My vegan lifestyle continues, slowly but steadily deprecating my bodily form of its muscles and vitality.

At the moment, I am eating a bagel as big as my head, topped off with some non-GMO margarine (essentially plastic) and some chives. My coffee isn’t exactly black, but it is without sugar. Over at Trader Joe’s, I discovered a coconut creme that pleases me. I don’t use it for the flavor, but to reduce the temperature and give it a better texture (wink, wink).

Last night’s dinner consisted of a bowl of lentil soup and carrots. Maybe tonight I’ll eat a few potatoes and some salad.

Truth be told, I do eat some fish, so I am not exactly a vegan. I’m more of a vegetarian and pride myself on looking into a deep bowl filled with bacon and declaring out loud for the rest of my non-vegan household to hear: “I shall never again eat this disgusting form of meat.”

Maybe I’m bored. Or, maybe I don’t want to eat hammed burgers for the rest of my life — like the lot of you disgusting pigs.

Moving on, I bought a little AAOI today and have been listening to the sweet sounds of a FUCKING VACUUM in my ears for the past two hours. For some reason, when the cleaning ladies come to do their job here, they keep the FUCKING VACUUM on the whole time. They’re probably using it as a ploy to distract me as they steal my jewelry.

Small caps are ripping, as per IWM. This market wants higher.

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14 comments

  1. paradox

    There’s a word for it, Fly – pescatarian.

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  2. lesurgeon

    Why did you choose to become almost vegan?

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  3. traderconfessions

    Anyone who disparages bacon is sub-human. But then again you have bean curd.

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  4. thegametheorist

    Fly, who was once enthralled by shake shack, is now eating margarine. Woe is me.

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  5. heckler

    Margarine is for fags and will likely give you cancer or AIDS. Eat butter dude.

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    • Dr. Fly

      I just reported you to the fag- police for making homophobic statements.

      I eat Smart Balance — because it’s smarter than faggot butter.

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      • heckler

        I bought SODA in a direct response to you buying your FIZZ fag water. These days, in civilized parts of the world, thirsty gentlemen produce and consume their own fag water at home

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  6. moonshot

    How thick are your gold chains, Fly? I hope you at least protect your diamond encrusted grille from the cleaning ladies.

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  7. pb

    Cleaning ladies use the vacuum noise to communicate, “We are working hard, here!”. I wish I were kidding. Stage props come in many forms, and this is one of them. It is no different than when you go into a law office and there are monstrous bookshelves stacked to the ceiling with law books. None of them even have the binder cracked, the lawyer will simply act as a mirror to *your* thoughts, but…them books be intimidating to the vast majority of non-reading clients.

    Similarly to your cleaning ladies, watch a lawn care service in action. They will be running the mowers, weed-eaters, leaf-blowers all at the same time, and the latter items just go back and forth over the same areas that have ALREADY been finished. Noise indicates “hard work, that is what we are doing for you!”

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