***MASKED MAN SHOOTS UP GERMAN CINEMA THEATRE, UP TO 50 WOUNDED***

No word on whether this attack was sponsored by the religion of peace or some right wing, American, wackos, who happened to make their way into Germany, armed to the teeth in the name of baby Jesus.

The shooting took place in Viernheim, Germany and is ongoing. There appears to be a hostage situation.

BREAKING: At least 25 wounded in shooting at a cinema in Germany, German public TV says https://t.co/NcN1h0b8wW https://t.co/J55BHzMERJ

— CNN (@CNN) June 23, 2016

UPDATE: There are reports that the man has been arrested.

UPDATE: the masked man is dead. Back to your regularly scheduled market rally.

Jim wore his ‘fuck China’ bow’d tie for this interview. Maybe the Council for Foreign Relations sent Jim out to lobby for regime change in China. Or, maybe China is really doomed.

You decide.

Thoughts? This is the story of the generation.

The absurdity of this is almost too much for me to bear. Each and every day I consume information on an industrial scale, from all different walks of life. Most of the news is grim and dire and totally demoralizing. Every once in awhile there’s a story about a dog saving a drunkard from a flaming inferno, which warms my black heart to no end. But this Belarus story, of a small piece of shit country rife with corruption, seemingly in charge of agriculture on a global scale due to its market share in potash, is a burden for me this morning.

Several years ago when I was an investor in MOS and POT, I learned about the great gypsy nation of Belarus and how it had designs to starve the world via excessively higher potash prices. For a while, their scheme was working, wonderfully. Prices soared and I was talking seriously about the specter of a $100 tomato.

Anyway, the rascals are back at it again. Oh, the Russians are involved too. But they’re always up to no good.

“New Uralkali shareholders are coming to me every month saying: ‘accept us’. We are not against it – let’s unite, on our conditions,” Belarus President Alexander Lukashenko said at an event in Minsk.

“Let’s resume work and agree how much we will produce.”

Lukashenko did not disclose his conditions. The previous joint venture was based in Minsk, that time a crucial condition for Belarus and the main concern for Uralkali.

The collapse of Uralkali’s joint venture with Belaruskali triggered a fall in global prices as competition between producers intensified. Prices have not yet fully recovered.

Lukashenko also said Minsk signed a new potash supply contract with India on Wednesday, although Belarussian Potash Company (BPC), a trading arm of Belaruskali, later said it was still finalizing the deal.

“I think it’s a wonderful contract, taking into account the current prices,” Lukashenko said, without disclosing the price or volume to be supplied.

See how these devils tried to starve the planet, like true villains, back in 2008?

Wall street loves this shit and has bid up shares of Ag stocks with reckless abandon.

This makes no fucking sense, whatsoever. But for some reason, idiots abound are tethering the fate of BREXIT to the Bitcoin, the virtual reality scam currency.

Bear in mind, there was another higher profile, $50 some odd million, hack attack on one of their idiot exchanges, which might be prompting this 5 day 25% drop in BTC.

Bitcoins are lower by 4% today.

All of the dreams and fantasies of the Bank of Japan Governor, Haruhiko Kuroda, are coming true–at least for today. The yen is falling in spectacular fashion, much to the delight of yen carry trade gamblers, positioned long equities. With the yen dropping by 1.4%, trades have become indelibly profitable from recent levels and it might be time to up the leverage, ahead of the BREXIT results.

It’s worth noting, however, gains in Europe are fading, as traders tuck tail and run ahead of the BREXIT results. Who can blame them, really? The DAX was up more than 2%, now higher by 1.1%. The Italians and their MIB don’t give a shit, still up, whilst drinking wine, by 2.5%

U.S. markets just opened, higher by 155.

Happy BREXIT day.

Adam Jonas is one of the most bullish Wall Street analysts covering TSLA, localed from the venerable investment bank and chief underwriter for TSLA, Morgan Stanley.

Jonas thinks the SCTY deal is horseshit of the very first magnitude and has subsequently slashed his price target for the shares.

Jonas, whose firm has underwritten securities offerings for Tesla, lowered his recommendation on the stock Thursday to equal-weight from overweight and reduced his 12-month target for the stock price to $245 from $333.

“While there may be any number of lucid arguments supporting the strategic rationale of a combination, we believe many of the benefits could have been achieved through arm’s length/strategic partnership and without the risks inherent in exposing Tesla shareholders to the financial and capital markets risks faced by SCTY,” Jonas wrote in a report to clients.

Rumor has it, Jonas has been throwing vases against the walls at Morgan all morning long after publishing this note.

His love affair with Musk is, essentially, over (no homo).

Investment banks have been optimistic about YELP’s prospects as of late. This morning, Needham is out with some bull porn for all of you YELP lovers out there.

Price target has been lifted to $34; hitherto, it was only $28.

Needham raises their YELP tgt to $34 from $28. Firm notes while growing its sales headcount remains a top priority, they are encouraged by mgmt’s increased attention to account mgmt and focus on national advertisers. They believe the positive impact of these initiatives is not reflected in models. However, they believe product innovation is even more important as high-demand products such as Request a Quote or Eat24 should not only enhance sales productivity but also improve retention. These products and the shift to CPC pricing transitions Yelp toward performance marketing and a more transactional business, which should enhance its value over time as it more clearly demonstrates its ability to add value to consumers and businesses. Thus, they recommend shares to investors.

The stock is only up 1.1% in the pre market.

I have no idea who this Ocean Imagination is. Many news sites are wrongly calling them Ocean Management ltd, a defunct British investment firm, which would make sense, being that the Chinese like to produce counterfeits. Maybe this Ocean Imaginaion firm is one giant fiction, an imaginary firm making imaginary bids? What? It’s possible.

Anyway, they made a bid to buy QUNR. Shares are sharply higher in the pre-market.

According to the proposal letter, the Buyer is an entity related to Ocean Imagination L.P., a private equity fund dedicated to investing in travel-related industries in China. The Buyer intends to seek the support of the Company’s shareholders accounting for a majority in voting power of the Company for this proposal. The Buyer also intends to fund the consideration payable in the Transaction with a combination of debt and equity capital, with the equity financing to be provided from the Buyer in the form of cash and any rollover equity capital in the Company from the Significant Shareholders.

The Board has formed a special committee comprised of three independent, disinterested directors, Mr. Jimmy Lai, Mr. Jianmin Zhu and Ms. Ying Shi, to consider the Buyer’s proposal and the transaction contemplated therein. The special committee expects to retain independent advisors, including independent financial and legal advisors, to assist it in this process.
The Board cautions the Company’s shareholders and others considering trading the Company’s securities that the Board has just received the proposal letter and has not had an opportunity to carefully review and evaluate the proposal or make any decision with respect to the Company’s response to the proposal. There can be no assurance that any definitive offer will be made, that any definitive agreement will be executed relating to the proposed transaction or that this or any other transaction will be approved or consummated. The Company does not undertake any obligation to provide any updates with respect to this or any other transaction, except as required under applicable law.

Can one of you Canadians out there tell me who is buying Blackberry devices? How on earth are they going to post positive free cash flow for 2016, as promised?

Back on earth, revenues fell 39% year over year for the Canadian telephone makers. However, they exceeded estimates, guided higher, and have $2.5 bill in cash.

This company is very stubborn and just won’t go away. They sort of remind me of MySpace.

Reports Q1 (May) net of breakeven, $0.08 better than the Capital IQ Consensus of ($0.08); revenues fell 39.2% year/year to $400 mln ($424 mln Non-GAAP) vs the $470.82 mln Capital IQ Consensus.

Co issues upside guidance for FY17, sees EPS of ($0.15) vs. ($0.34) Capital IQ Consensus Estimate.

BlackBerry had approximately 3,300 enterprise customer wins in the quarter. Approximately 74% of the first quarter software revenue was recurring.

Total cash, cash equivalents, short-term and long-term investments was $2.5 billion as of May 31, 2016. This reflects a use of free cash of $65 million, which includes negative $61 million of cash flow from operations.

Outlook: The Company anticipates maintaining a strong cash position and further reallocating additional resources to go-to-market and product development areas as it continues to execute on its strategy of positive adjusted EBITDA for the full 2017 fiscal year. “Our current plan calls for continued investments to expand our addressable markets and drive sustainable profitability and revenue growth. For the full fiscal year, we are on track to deliver 30 percent revenue growth in software and services. Based on a more efficient operating model, we expect a non-GAAP EPS loss of around 15 cents, compared to the current consensus of a 33 cent loss. We also expect to generate positive free cash flow for the full year.”

European markets are really picking up some steam, as the BREXIT vote gets underway in Britain. The voting just started a few hours ago, so the rally must be predicated around some polling data of people sleeping and/or how many of them walk outside with a cup of coffee in their hands vs tea. Rumor has it, it’s the tea drinkers, those devilish bastards, who want BREXIT.

SPY futures soar.

Germany rejoices.

The yen is plunging vs the dollar. This is porn for Kuroda.

Imagine if the UK voted to leave? Thank heavens the tea drinkers slept in.