Here are the Top Small Capped Short Squeezes in Exodus

This one goes out to all of you river boat gamblers out there, super-degenerate drug addled alcoholics, who spend their days smoking bacon wrapped cigars and tweeting out their latest acts of genius.

“The Fly” is a man for the people, by the people. Bless his house.

Data provided by Exodus

Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, news out from China, for the entrepreneurial elevator industry, is dire and getting worse by the second.

After peaking at 600,000 units last year, sales in China may drop to about 500,000 next year amid a surplus of apartments and slowdown of people moving to big cities, Otis Elevator Co. President Philippe Delpech, who heads the world’s largest maker of elevators, said in an interview in Tokyo this month. After that, the market in China, where more than two-thirds of elevators are sold, may stabilize, he said.

When will this market recover, you ponder?

“It could be never,” Delpech said. “We will have to adjust the output of the factories to the market. You will have a consolidation in the market and some small companies will disappear.”

WHAT?! Holy shit.

UTX is the only publicly trades elevator company. Otis cowers in the private markets, secretly getting ravaged from a quickly sinking Chinese’d effect.

“It’s like when they built New York up over 20 to 30 years. They delivered more elevators than they will ever deliver again,” Delpech said. “It’s kind of that type of construction.”

They’re trying to spin year over year deceleration in sales as a positive, caveating how onerous online retailers are to brick and mortar and how they should be content with a very small draw down from last year.

Losers think like that.

Sales at U.S. brick-and-mortar stores on Thanksgiving Day and Black Friday were down slightly from last year, but the performance was still seen as strong in a holiday shopping season where discounts spread well beyond the weekend and many shoppers moved to the web.

Online sales were up by double digits, according to data released on Saturday.

Data from analytics firm RetailNext showed overall sales for both days fell 1.5 percent on flat customer traffic, while average spending per shopper dropped 1.4 percent.

Preliminary data from ShopperTrak showed sales at stores totaled about $12.1 billion on Thursday and Friday. The company said it is an “estimated decrease from last year” but did not give the percentage decline due to an internal change in the way it calculates data. Last year, it reported sales of $12.29 billion for the same period.

Sepaaretly, online retailers aka Amazon, posted 18% growth for total sales of $4.4 billion. In a twisted world, a -1.4% growth rate is “good”. In the real world, it fucking sucks. The shopping mall is deal. Long live the deflationary vortex of the internet, aka Amazon and Google.

I can’t wait for Cyber-Monday. My wife just told me “it already started.”

Putin’s spokesman is upping the rhetoric today, casting aspersions and chastising the Turks for their “traitorous” behavior.

“Nobody has the right to traitorously shoot down a Russian plane from behind,” Peskov told Russia’s “News on Saturday” TV programme, calling Turkish evidence purporting to show the Russian SU-24 jet had violated Turkish air space “cartoons”.

“The president is mobilised, fully mobilised, mobilised to the extent that circumstances demand,” said Peskov.

“The circumstances are unprecedented. The gauntlet thrown down to Russia is unprecedented. So naturally the reaction is in line with this threat.”

He then added an important note to the dialogue, regarding Edrogan’s interest in ISIS controlled oil, why they buy it from them, and perhaps providing the sane people of the world with a motive for doing so.

Peskov, according to the TASS news agency, also spoke of how Erdogan’s son had a “certain interest” in the oil industry. Putin has said oil from Syrian territory controlled by Islamic State militants is finding its way to Turkey.

NATO should cut Turkey loose from its alliance. But they won’t, since for some reason, our interests are aligned with theirs.

Fuckery.

Update: The Kremlin announces a wide swath of sanctions against the bedlamites in Turkey.

President Vladimir Putin signed a decree imposing a raft of punitive economic sanctions against Turkey on Saturday, underlining the depth of the Kremlin’s anger toward Ankara four days after Turkey shot down a Russian warplane.
The decree, which entered into force immediately, said charter flights from Russia to Turkey would be banned, that tour firms would be told not to sell any holidays there, and that unspecified Turkish imports would be outlawed, and Turkish firms and nationals have their economic activities halted or curbed.

Has a better thriller ever been made?

If you haven’t seen this movie, you must watch it tonight. It is the ultimate tale of mystery, revenge, power, wrapped up in a giant web of fuckery. When I saw this movie, many years ago, I was take aback by it, as most people who’ve seen it are. There is a cool twist in the plot that makes it one of the most memorable movies you’ll ever see.

Morons.

Enjoy your day.

This is giant fuckery on a level never seen before. Instead of conciliatory gestures, the arrogant Turks, in the face of reports of Turks being arrested in Moscow– and a growing consensus to punish Turkey for shooting down a Russian warplane– the Turks take jerk and kick it up a notch (bam, Extra Emeril).

“It is playing with fire to go as far as mistreating our citizens who have gone to Russia,” Erdogan told supporters during a speech in Bayburt, in northeast Turkey. “We really attach a lot of importance to our relations with Russia… We don’t want these relations to suffer harm in any way.”

He said he may speak with Russian President Vladimir Putin at a climate summit in Paris next week. Putin has so far refused to contact Erdogan because Ankara does not want to apologize for the downing of the jet, a Putin aide said.

Erdogan has said Turkey deserves an apology because its air space was violated.

This is a very public humiliation of Russia. As a point in fact, 2015 has been the year to mock, jeer, and ridicule Russia. It’s as if the official US policy was to fuck with them, provoke them, until a new war was established, settling old debts.

Say what you want about M. Shkreli, but he’s channeling Jay Gould and Commodore Vanderbilt with his recent actions in KBIO.

Him and his friends cornered the market in a micro cap stock, caused a great spike in volume, drove shares up to absurd levels, and now he’s calling in all shorts.

What does that mean?

According to Markit, 49% of KBIO’s shares are short, up from 5%. In order to short sell, one must borrow from a long. Well, what is Shkreli decided to stop lending to shorts, forcing them to buy in?

Forcing them to buy in.

Some lesser sites will reference the great Volkswagon squeeze. But “The Fly” keeps it real and always keeps it old school. Let’s go back to when the squeeze all started, back in the 19th century Harlem Railroad corner.

What the fuck am I talking about?

This.

Everyone is going to burn in hell. China dry cleaned their markets and the clothing got fucked up.

China’s securities regulator has urged domestic brokerages to cease financing clients’ stocks purchases through swaps and other over-the-counter contracts, two sources with direct knowledge told Reuters, its latest move to reduce leveraged financing risk in its stock markets after a summer plunge.
“After rebounding over 20 percent from its bottom, you need fresh capital to maintain the upward momentum (in Chinese stocks), but recent government measures to deleverage have sparked fears,” said Zhou Lin, analyst at Huatai Securities.
“In addition, I don’t see signs that the economy has bottomed out.”

Further weighing on sentiment was data on Friday showing that profits earned by Chinese industrial companies fell 4.6 percent in October, declining for the fifth consecutive month.
The Chinese yuan also came under pressure, weakening to its lowest level in almost three months as investors braced for a decision on Monday by the International Monetary Fund on whether to include the currency in its reserve basket.

You see the news and I can mull over it with you; but it’s all bullshit. China is a giant steaming pile of horseshit on the side of the road. I anticipate complete and utter ruin in the Chinese streets, vagabonds running wild selling dry noodles to tourists who don’t know any better.

US and European futures are slightly lower, effectively erecting a giant middle finger to the orient.

Classic Thanksgiving material, originally posted 1,000 years ago, on a cave wall.

Enjoy.

A Gentleman’s Guide to Thanksgiving Decorum
Wed Nov 21, 2012 4:28pm 53 53,108 views

I like to consider myself to be an expert in decorum. Lucky for you, I am going to share some of my secrets, in order to help you socialize during tomorrow’s Thanksgiving feast.

When hosting, be sure to address each person who enters your home by their proper surname, even if it’s your mother and father.

Example: “Good afternoon Mr. Thomson. I am so happy you could attend, accompanied by the venerable Mrs. Thomson.”

Immediately have someone fetch their outer-garments, then invite them to your parlour for refreshments.

Example: “Mr. and Mrs Thomson, please join me in the parlour. Can I offer you some wine or perhaps something stronger?”

After your guests have loosened up, serve appetizers and ask that they make a small donation to your favorite charity.

Example: “Mr. Thomson, please have a meatball, they’re delectable. They’re made from kobe. Also, let me offer you an opportunity to be charitable. Are you aware that children in Africa do not celebrate Thanksgiving?” (then proceed with sales pitch)

After you’ve achieved your philanthropic goals, ask everyone to sit and prepare for dinner.

Example: “Gentlemen and ladies in attendance, please join me in the dining area, where we will be serving a freshly slaughtered, organic, free range, stuffed bird, cranned berried sauce and other fine delicacies.”

Once seated and served, ask that everyone join hands to say grace. You will perform this function, and do so with the professional acumen that comes natural to you.

Example: “Dear Turkey Gods, thank you for all of this food on this table. I particularly would like to thank you for inventing cranned berried sauce and stuffing. I will be sure to douse your body with gravy and devour you whole. A-fucking-men.” (apologize to the children immediately)

While at the table, small talk is important. Try to address your guests with respect, but let them know who’s boss. It’s also important to frame your sentences in a way that demands a response, in order to keep the party vibrant.

Example: “Mrs. Thomson, would you be kind enough to pass me the gravy, okay, pal? Mr. Thomson, do you see those biscuits over there? Would you be a champ and get them for me? I greatly appreciate your assistance, thanks skip.”

After dinner, dismiss the women from the table, so that they might clean up. Ask for refreshments too.

Example: “Okay ladies, please allow the men to mingle in bitter solitude for a few moments. Dear (referring to wife), go get us some Port and a box of cigars. Mrs. Thomson, make yourself at home. There are plenty of aprons under the sink, if you need one.”

After you’ve had a nice cigar and some dessert wine, re-invite the ladies to join the men in the drawing room to discuss politics and religion.

Example: “Ladies, if you’re done cleaning up, please join us in the drawing room for casual discussion. Mrs. Thomson, how do you feel about Islam?”

Now it’s time to wind down operations. But it’s important to do so without looking rude. You do not want your guests to feel as if you’re kicking them out.

Make believe your pocket-watch isn’t working, tapping on it, complaining “this darn thing stopped working again. Can anyone be so kind as to tell me what time is it?” After hearing the time, address a guest in a specific manner to make her feel as if she’s intruding, but do so without her knowing it is intentional.

Example: “Mrs. Thomson, do you have many things to do tomorrow morning? My wife has been complaining to me all week about getting an early start on this Black Friday thing. Do you intend to wake up with the roosters and join the frenzy?”

When saying goodbye to your guests, be sure to offer parting compliments, prior to waving your hand as they drive away.

Example: “Thank you so much for dining with us tonight Mr. Thomson. Your wife. Ms. (emphasis on Ms.) Thomson looked especially elegant this evening with her costume. Is this Hermes, Ms. Thomson? (As they drive away, while waving and smiling profusely, yell out “Ciao.”

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How to Comport Oneself as a Guest at a Thanksgiving Dinner Party
Dr. Fly Thu Nov 28, 2013 12:10am EST 33 Comments 3399

Last year we dove into the etiquette required to host a Thanksgiving Dinner party. Now we will address the important matter of comporting oneself as a guest, during the great holiday of Thanksgiving.

Upon arrival, hand the footman answering the door the sweets in your possession, as a gift to the host. You bring them in abundance, whether or not they are diabetic, on strict diets, or allergic to wheat. You bring them, nonetheless.

Example: “Hello Jeffrey (the name of the footman), please take this chocolate cake to the kitchen as a gift for my diabetic mother-in-law.”

After entering the home, be sure to exchange pleasantries with the hosts, both husband and wife. However, feel free to snub everyone else in a sudden act of aloofness.

Example: “Thank you so much for having us in your home (shaking the hand of the male, then kissing the right cheek of the female, keeping a 6 inch distance at all times). Immediately after being received, walk briskly and with purpose to the rear of the house, making believe everyone else were insignificant peasants of an underclass– invisible.

During refreshments, take up some casual conversation with the older looking men. They tend to harbor a great deal of vitriolic hate, since they’re markedly closer to death. It makes for great cocktail entertainement.

Example: “Hello Bill, have you been seeing all of those elderly people getting punched in the face by hyper-active urban students? I believe they call the game ‘knock-out.’ I read somewhere that Obamacare was going to issue free steel masks for the elderly to pre-empt expensive surgeries. Would you wear one?”

When dinner is announced, be sure to avoid sitting across from attractive ladies, as it might get you in unnecessary trouble with your wife during dinner. When the host requests that everyone donate to his charity of choice, due to some sympathetic cause, excuse yourself to the lavatory until after donations are taken.

Example: After hearing the request, call over one of the footmen and ask him to show you where the bathroom is located. “Excuse me William, would you be a sport and show me where you keep the bathroom hidden. I must relieve myself.”

Just before grace is said, ask the host if you could do the honors of offering a few words of thanks. During your brief speech, be sure to plug your company and/or services in a clever way that might appeal to the affluent gents in attendance.

Example: “Dear Lord, please bless these turkeys before they head into our mouths and stomachs.Thank you for allowing my firm (name of company) to excel this year with 30% gains in the stock market for the fifth consecutive year. I am sure we all have things to be thankful for and I felt it would be selfish of me if I didn’t speak my mind on this joyous occasion to let you know how pleased I am with the talents you’ve bestowed upon me. Omen.” (be sure to say “Omen” and not “Amen”, as it suggests better breeding.)

Following dinner, when the females are introduced to the aprons and the men retire to the antechamber for port and cigars, be sure to ally yourself with most aggressive debater, as it will allow you to vanquish the other males without breaking a sweat.

Example: “Bob is right. All of the evidence points towards CNBC being run by a homosexual mafia. Anyone who suggests otherwise, like Bob said, must have something to hide. QED.” (break the ash from your cigar, inadvertently onto the persian rugs below.) “I’m so sorry about that.”

When the ladies have cleaned up and are re-invited into the drawing room, feel free to establish small talk.

Example: “I really feel that if a mother doesn’t nurse a newborn with her own milk, such a mother is failing at her duties and should be replaced. Any father in his right mind knows this goes against the laws of nature and should prevent this abuse from occurring with all of his will.” Other gents chime in “HEAR! HEAR!” rattling their canes onto the floors below.

After several ladies complain about your remarks in disgust, pardon yourself and blame it on the excessive alcohol being served.

Example: “I am very sorry Mrs. Thompson. I believe Bill here has given me too much to drink, as I am not my usual self. TEN THOUSAND APOLOGIES.”

Shortly after, excuse yourself to the restroom and feign sickness. This will allow you to leave early, and avoid boredom.

Example: After coming back from the bathroom, holding your stomach, say “I am very sorry but Margaret and I must be going now, I am feeling rather ill. Perhaps the turkey or the port didn’t agree with me. Thank you so much for this lovely dinner.” Try to add a slight bit of sarcasm towards the end of the last sentence, but not overtly. You do not want to come off as rude.

When the hosts walk with you to the door to see you out, just before kissing the female host goodbye, make believe you’re about to vomit on her–but catch yourself with a clenched fist to the mouth.

Example: “Bill and Diane, I wish we could stay longer. This was lovely. (lean in to kiss Diane goodbye, then let the faux nausea begin!) Oh, my, I am really feeling rather ill and should depart at once. I bid you goodbye.” (tips hat, pushes open door with cane, exits).