STOCKS FLY; SO DO SHORT SELLERS

This is it. The beginning of the holiday season for stocks and risk is on, with small caps leading the charge. I took this opportunity to sell some of my TWTR position, mainly because it’s a giant piece of fucking horseshit. And, I added to the following: XON, CNC, JAZZ and FCX.

Tuesday of last week, TNA was flagged oversold inside Exodus. The results are in; and as always, they’re impressive.

After a holding period of 3 days, the stats get real colorful, pointing to total and complete annihilation of the bears by the 10th day.

I’m up 2.3% for the day, with gains led by CNC, JAZZ and SHAK. At first I was hesitant, looking at the market hem and haw between gains and losses. But now I am convinced: bears are getting tossed the fuck out from the ring and into the pits of hell, where horned goats and transvestites will stab them with their penis’ and take away all of their money.

In a year that is making fools of all high profile money managers, I find no reason to believe why this latest call out of Dan Loeb won’t come back to throw eggs all over his face.

“The environment for short selling is also attractive and we have more single short names than long positions in our book today,” Loeb wrote in the letter dated Oct. 30.
“We have reduced our net exposure by nearly a third through sales and new shorts over the past few months while maintaining significant positions in our highest conviction, event-rich names,” he wrote, without identifying the new positions.
He said that the fund’s biggest winners for the third quarter included Kraft Heinz and eBay, plus an unnamed position called “short A.” The biggest losers during the quarter include SunEdison, Dow Chemical Co., Amgen Inc. and Yum! Brands.

Einhorn, Icahn and Ackman have been marginalized this year, without question. Dan Loeb’s Third Point had a solid October, up 4.7%, following a horrific summer where his fund lost 8.9%. Let’s see if his latest call to be net short stocks, heading into the final two months of the year, pays off.

I’m such a dired pessimist. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m also a fatalist, essentially not really giving a shit, I would’ve sold my stocks and waited for the market to crater.

The Option Addict said this would happen and it looks like it might be starting to get colorful around here.

During the iBC Conference, he told us to look out for the smaller cap names starting to make a move in this rally.

Look at the medicine man stocks today.

I happen to be long the space in decent size, with positions in JAZZ, NK, CNC, ICPT, GILD, XON and SGEN. Shit, I hadn’t realized until now how much of a medicine man fan I truly am.

Shares of SHAK are exploding higher on news that the pole smokers who make burritos at CMG are poisoning people. The American burrito eater shall be converted to a hammed burger face shoveler. It has been written and it shall be so.

SHAK is one of my largest positions.

Someone said they “loved Citron’s moxy” for posting scandalous shit about Valeant; then I punched him in the face.

I love a good bar fight, especially ones when stools come into play and heads get cracked open. But this piling on by Citron, regarding VRX, is text book absurdity.

Day after day, those little greedy fuckers hop onto Bloomberg teevee to discuss VRX. They taunt Bill Ackman with their tweets. And now, after all the free press, analyst downgrades, public humiliation of one of America’s most successful money managers, they issue another report on VRX.

Don’t give me this last word crap, regarding how awful a company VRX is and how you’re simply looking out for the little guy–not to get burned.

You know, the ancient greeks wrote fables about people like you, little greedy fuckers who got their hands stuck in the dike.

I see it now: VRX surges and cuts the arms and legs off from all of your little followers, the last guys into the fray. You know, the people you got liquid on when you covered your short.

I sense Ackman’s revenge is near, the sort of vengeance that inspired whole chapters in the holy bible.

CMG is down around 5% this morning, after news that the meat they sell on the west coast is fucking poisonous.

After being notified by health department officials in the Seattle (Wash.) and Portland, Ore. areas that they were investigating approximately 20 cases of E. coli, including people who ate at six of our restaurants in those areas, we immediately closed all of our restaurants in the area out of an abundance of caution,” Chipotle said in an emailed statement.
The company said the vast majority of its stores in the area had reported no problems. “We offer our deepest sympathies to those that have been affected by this situation.”
It is the third outbreak of food contamination at Chipotle restaurants since August. Those earlier cases involved salmonella and the highly infectious virus norovirus.

Dollars to donuts says the ecoli emanated from the ground beef, because it’s not grass fed. Cows can’t process corn, genetically modified or not. When we were kids, all of the beef was grass fed. This isn’t some hipster movement, based off some wacky idea. This is science. Eat grass fed beef; avoid being poisoned to death by ecoli.

This is some quality research from the lads over at Goldman. After a debilitating share price decline, God’s men downgraded shares of VRX to neutral, “moving to the sideline” if you will.

“Given the events that have transpired very rapidly in recent weeks that have raised many questions about certain aspects of VRX’s business model, we have less confidence the market will reward the stock anytime soon without clarity as to the path forward,” wrote Nachman. “We move to the sidelines until there is further visibility on how management will repair the reputational damage to the company, as well as grow its business effectively in this increasingly challenging environment.”

The fuckery is so real, hardly anyone can believe it.

I write to you in the top of the 12th inning, watching the MLB world series.

The Mets have lost, assuredly. The Kansas City Royals, which isn’t even a city in Kansas (WTF is up with that?) have won the World Series. My original prejudice lied in the beards of the Royals, a wholly disgusting set of future crystal meth addicts spending idle time as youngsters about the baseball field. There was no way the Royals could beat the NY Mets, since the midwest is a silly part of the United States, never to be taken seriously, especially by learned men of the east coast. I looked at men like Moustakas and Hochevar and thought it’d be impossible to beat the Mets and anyone who thought otherwise were delirious with insanity.

But then I saw these animals play ball and I was impressed. These Royals are a savage clan, the sort of men who’d rather cannibalize their entire village than go a day without food. Regarding the state of Missouri: there is nothing worse than Missouri. It represents the very worst of this country, both intellectually and culturally. I mean, look at Eric Hosmer and tell me what you find redeeming.

The reason why the Mets lost is because of their owner, Frederick Wilpon. A former friend of the infamous Bernard Maddof, Frederick had profited from the ponzi scheming ways of Bernie; and as a result, was litigated against and told to give back upwards of $160 million in illicit gains from the famed mountebank. In other words, until the NY Mets are sold to a person who isn’t guilty of the very worst crimes known to mankind, they will never win a World Series.

I am not emotionally invested in the NY Mets and have not been emotional about sporting events since the day I became an adult. I wish the KC Royals good fortune in their much deserved World Series win and hope that it brings a semblance of pride and honor to the obese and degenerate people of Kanas City, persons more interested in the spices in their BBQ sauce than their industrial capacity.

Thanks to my cult-like personality (drink the kool-aid), I was able to secure dozens of resumes for a job that paid zero and offered nothing else but the glory and privilege to blog aside a living legend in finance blogging. I sincerely thank all who applied for the job, to be part of the second launching of the Peanut Gallery, aka iBC Blogging network.

We tried this endeavor several years back and it didn’t work out. We had hundreds of bloggers; but it was a fucking disgraceful mess. With this iteration, my intent was to hand pick the first 5, treat it as a blogging internship, where I would keep in touch and guide the young blood on how to properly attract an audience.

After careful consideration, here is the first 5 (twitter handles) of what I expect to be a very large and burgeoning community of finance bloggers, whose goal is to uplift the drek of 140 character bullshit to a realm that appreciates the written word.

@graystoke

@Goodgreed

@rjboyaj

@calculatorci

@edwardrooster

Please welcome and follow all of iBankCoin’s latest bloggers and hope them the best.

Just when you though the Greek boogeymen were tucked away, locked in the closet: they reemerge with a fresh appetite for some new, cold, hard, cash.

“The keys to voluntary investor participation in the capital raises will be clarity regarding the ultimate capital structure and the extent of the government’s participation in the governance of the banks,” Ross, chairman of WL Ross & Co. said after the release of the ECB’s so-called comprehensive assessment for Greek lenders on Saturday. “Investors will not be comfortable with committing new equity capital to banks that are effectively nationalized,” the billionaire investor, who holds a stake at Eurobank Ergasias SA, said.

The ECB asset-quality review identified 9.2 billion euros of valuation adjustments for National Bank of Greece SA, Piraeus Bank SA, Eurobank and Alpha Bank AE, the Frankfurt-based supervisor said Saturday. The banks’ capital gap amounted to 14.4 billion euros under a simulated stress test scenario, and 4.4 billion euros under baseline macroeconomic assumptions. The four banks will have to submit recapitalization plans to the ECB’s supervisory arm by Nov. 6.
“Raising funds will clearly be difficult,” Arturo Bris, a finance professor at IMD business school IB Lausanne, said in a phone interview Sunday. “A solution can be a government-sponsored plan that takes care of the bad part of the banking system, while the good part becomes marketable.”

Under European stress tests, apparently all of the Greek banks are without proper funding.

So, how many of you are interested in some Greek bank bonds?

Anyone?