I’ve got news to report to you. But first, let me tell you about my new fascination with dumping coconut oil into the blackest of black coffee available to me. I take said coffee and drop a tablespoon of greasy coconut oil into it and then I drink it. Some of us about these parts fancy to drop a stick or two of butter into said beverage. However, I am not at that level just yet. For now, I remain steadfast in my belief that this concoction of greasy blackness will continue to provide me with the energy of a rabid animal.
After I devour the contents of the prescription mentioned above, I head to the gym and try to give myself a hernia. My muscles are as hard as concrete cinderblocks and I can crush your jaws into dust with just a singular punch.
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In other news, as Chairman of the iBankCoin Reserve, regrettably, the time has come to raise rates on all premium services on iBankCoin, effective midnight on 12/31/13. As you know, our suite of products, The PPT, 12631 and After Hours with Option Addict, are significantly discounted compared to our peers, who are inferior by all measures.
DO NOT PANIC, for current members will be “grandfathered in” at the olde fashioned, miserly, rates.
The new, and very affordable, cost for all the above products will be as follows:
Monthly: $59.95
Semi-Annual: $299.95
Annual: $459.95
As you can see, I’ve been very generous to you all by keeping rates low for an extended period of time, giving the economy a chance to rebound. However, all good things come to an end and the good folks at iBC have an Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) to develop (for offensive purposes only). While some of my “competitors” like to flaunt about the Caribbean amidst diamonds and fast automobiles, I remain stoically reserved in my chambers planning world domination.
I give many thanks to the thousands of people who’ve joined our army over the years and appeal to your good nature to accept this news with a grain of salt. Be quick about joining our ranks and lock in the low, miserly, rates now– and you too might galavant about 5 star hotels and lavish your lady friends with minks and other fine items, all bequeathed to you by the brain trust at iBankCoin, working under slavish conditions for the benefit of mankind.
Duke
I have Bulletproof Coffee every day. Really great just blend it well
No need to blend it. Greasy is just fine by me.
May I suggest home roasting some Bolivian fair trade organic beans to go with that bulletproof coffee? Coffee beans start breaking down after about 10 days. Fresh roasted is the only way to go. I never knew what I was missing.
I prefer the non fair trade varietal and my keurig
1:17 am, when do you sleep?
He doesn’t have to.
Pumping stocks before they crash + raising rates on people = recipe for disaster.
Wench, yer comments have become a mockery of themself, they have. Arr.
Another one refuting your pumpfest on BALT:
http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2013/12/19/this-shipping-expert-is-shocked-by-morgan-stanleys.aspx#.UrOD0d3K-uQ.twitter
Go email the chief at York Capital and leave me alone.
Be refuting ye are Jennifer, while making pieces of eight Cap’n ‘Fly’ be…
interesting read..contrarians always are..the one thing Ive learned is someone will be right…just like the shorts who have been punched in the face all year!!…eventually they will be right. Eventually you will also be right Jennifer – the question is, when and how much will have been made by then?? Now leave us and return when that day is upon us so you can say “I told you so”
Coffee and butter sounds fucking horrid. Real not good.
I assure you it is not. First get the blend right…it is coffee, butter and mct oil. Coconut oil is an acceptable but not optimal substitute for health reasons. Coconut oil has long chain tryglicerides and mct oil is refined to only have medium chain tryglicerides. It is blended to a frothy creamy consistency. I use less butter in mine,only about eighth of a stick and add a little heavy cream. Don’t knock it until you try it. Google bulletproof coffee. Starting with a high grade coffee is a must.
You have five seconds live.
AAAARRRRGGGHH!!!!! thud
Fly et all: with butter or Coco oil, add some whey protein powder as well.
Whey in hot hot coffee? Are you mad?
The heat will denature the whey. However collagen protein works great in coffee and is flavorless
Et all lol. Typed on phone
“After I devour the contents of the prescription mentioned above, I head to the gym and try to give myself a hernia.”
Priceless … u should also raise the rates for access to your pithy lexiconic musings.
i am curious what you think of old friend GOGO these days. would you ever consider re entry?
I think gogo wants lower for now.
The Fly, you are doing the Bulletproof thing! I Bulletproof myself! Are you a Dave Asprey fan?
I don’t know who Dave is, frankly.
Pray tell me you didn’t raise rate after me bragging how I recouped my fees yesterday in one shot?!
regardless, in my opinion, even with this raise the services are ALL worth it.
Halloween
Of course not. This was a long time coming. Your rates will not be affected.
what’s the difference between PPT and 12631?
Ppt is an investment tool and 12631 is a live trading room throughout the day.
I just signed up for PPT – awesome service – i shouldnt have waited so long to buy it
If I put Coconut oil in my coffee my bowels would become a log flume at Hershey Park.
am sure glad you got off that grey is gay crap
I still drink earl grey. There isn’t a single gay thing about it too, thank you very much!
BTW I LOVE that video clip. Is that Jennifer taking the ‘Fly’s’ coat?
How long will current members be granted the grandfathered rates?
My morning drink is black iced coffee with a protein powder custom blend from true nutrition. Best tasting protein on the market.
Butter + Coffee? Are you friends with vikings?
Oh, you’re another one of those Dave Asprey groupies popping modafinil. That explains a lot.
Two things: You don’t want a hernia. Had an Inguinal hernia (part of my intestine ended in my right testicle) surgery in Aug. and only now has my testicle normalized.
And don’t raise your cholesterol level drinking that junk. My wife had a heart attack in June with a reading of under 200 (and is now about 125- turned her into a vegan of sorts).
i am guessing by now, Jennifer’s Dick is chopped off and he’s bleeding
BALT gonna bust $6………
Not too long ago I was out of cream so I started adding muscle milk to my coffee = protein coffee. There you go guys, a million dollar idea
Looks like Jennifer will be sucking her own cock for Christmas.
I like to sip cheap whiskey and lie on the couch all day, watching C-Span and napping.
15 hours of sleep a day and no stimulants or excercise helps
the brain function.
BALT hit Zacks under $10 screen on the 17th.
Fly, do you think $ALJ is a good buy here?
How about a “life time” rate?
Oh, and by the way….
Baltastic !!!!!!!!!