BEHOLD: Another Black Swan Event

All hope is lost.

JPM just sucked the life out of the market. There is no need to offer flowery writing this morning, no metaphors or analogies. You will have to accept the bad news and move on with your lives. For some of you that means eating sandwiches and hoping this will pass soon. For others, today’s tape is a fine opportunity to go for a spin in the FAZmobile.

I cannot fathom a scenario where banks can do well in the short term. Until we get more clarity on this JPM story, avoid the banks like you would avoid pig fat sushi.

It looks like a -1% day and that’s too bad because European yields are somewhat stable. There was every reason to believe the market was setting up for a reflex rally, after weeks of somber, cocksucking, bullshit. But now it’s all over and death itself is knocking on the front door.

Are you going to open it?

Naturally, I anticipate heinous losses in my accounts today, with exception to WNR. Crack spreads are almost $30 and the refineries are being accumulated by giant hedge funds, whose goal in life is to be greedy and kill people for profit.

Regrettably, Mrs. Fly has plans for me today, which entails accompanying her to some event that borders on the ridiculous and lives in the nonsensical. Nevertheless, I am a generous man, with both time and money. Therefore, it is my duty to shed my owlish wisdom into her life, with the hopes that one day my generosity can save lives or inspire others to build space cannons, designed and purposed for egregious offensive measures.

In short, watch Spanish and Italian yields. It’s my hunch JPM’s fate is tethered to the “credit worthiness” of the club med states. Therefore, and this goes without saying, and I say this with the boldest of stentorian tones: they’re pretty much fucked for another $10 billion plus.