In 6 weeks they lost $2 billion. They will continue to lose money and “this can last for a while.” They concocted synthetic credit instruments and it blew up in their face. From what I understand, this might be isolated to the company. There is no reason to believe this is systemic and the market should not tank on THIS news. However, it can tank for other reasons, such as Greece, Spain, Italy etc.
Futures are down 13 on this news.
Here is a link to the emergency conference call.
or, read WSJ live blogging summary of the call.
UPDATE: Apparently, this position was profitable at one point but got too big and was poorly monitored, reviewed and constructed. It was designed to hedge the company against credit.
UPDATE II: Here is live link to Bloomberg tv coverage of the situation.
UPDATE III: ZH has the background to this story, with some other dire predictions, such as $20 billion in losses.”
UPDATE IV: Was the JPM News leaked? 13,800 JPM 41 puts traded today, an outrageous amount indeed.
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this will be just the tip son
what are the synthetics linked to ?
Wish I was on the FAZmobile and didn’t own BAC…
“isolated to the company” right, nobody else does what jpm is doing, pull my other finger.
Very possible they were the only ones.
who’s the counter party? GS?!?!
If only Jamie had a PPT subscription, this would never have happened.
http://ppt.ibankcoin.com/learn-more.php
Badly executed. Badly monitored. Credit Derivatives which we created are biting us in the ass.
Finance should be as simple as I = P * R * T
It should not be leveraged ass investments made so complicated no one understands what is going on.
It’s moments like this where you’d love to drive 150mph in a 80’s style limo and slap JPM in the face with some cold pizza.
Didn’t I say in my last post, maybe I’ll get lucky and hit Jamie Dimon?
#timemachine
You did good sir. I just read that. Glad to know we’re all about pizza slapping right now. Let us hope it is an isolated incident.
too funny, saw and thought this was already related to the conf call forthcoming didnt see the time stamp
GS runs the lights and algo’s on Whale oil harvested from oceans of JPM
The real asshats
I see NOTHING has changed since the crash. Same games, same players, same out of control bets.
Seems like everybody is belly up to the bar, getting bonuses and bailout money.
Please enlighten me as to WHY history can’t repeat itself because I don’t see that anybody has learned a lesson.
wow, cant get no traction fer nutin, bac droped on this BS,
Bring back the Asshat awards!
Don’t we have some Chinese news tonight too?
I feel a certain ominousness in the air tonight…twas there before the JPM news broke.
I am unlikely to sleep well or much this eve.
Your positions are too big.
Too volatile and getting killed….only own miners
I got a 38 stink bid filled…..I like it .
Summary of JPM conference call:
“…So aaaaaanywhoozle, we made this clown car out of dynamite and marsh mellows, then we all piled in to smoke some crack. Net-net: we’d like our bailout deposited tonight, ‘coz we’re taking tomorrow off to play golf with some whores and fuck a couple of congressmen…
Oh, and we’re keeping the ‘smores as retention bonuses.”
LOL
… we’re keeping the whores as retention bonuses, too.
I’m generally considered the best, brightest, and most well-respected CEO of any U.S. financial institution.
That’s like saying you’re lead cocksucker at a Mongolian clusterfuck.
Fuck you, I’m Mongolian
They call it down syndrome now…..
I stand corrected.
Never, eva’ deride Mongolia.
There’s a reason the Chinese slaved many a generation to construct that not so tiny wall, aka The Chinese Wall.
Mongolia rules! I will partake in Mongolian rule in the 22nd century whilst the rest of the Globalist go into Africa.
WTF is “the chinese wall”? A line of 5 foot8 adults with nearly shut eyes leaving them a visual area the size of dental floss?
Or do You mean “the great wall of china”?
indeud
I dare you to make similar a comment about blacks? Coward?
Still waiting run-of-the-sewage-mouths?
Don’t make me go on about your momz fool.
Shut the fuck up, asshole.
@You Suck. There’s still time for you to pimp your mom and get off food stamps.
When called for Jamie will step right up and eat shit. This is what a CEO should do when wrongdoing is found in his company.
Well, we know why the market sold off today. This news WAS LEAKED
no need to leak it when you are a monstrous bank and can just trade the news directly…gotta make up those lost billions somehow.
13,800 41 JPM puts traded today.
I hope that gets investigated by SEC. But they pretty much don’t do shit anymore.
those are weeklies too.
smells like BSC again .. did you see the put volume the week before the crap out
waaayyy out of the money too. If I recall correctly they were 20P while underlying was still north of 30
I owned 55 and 60 puts that weekend. My best performance ever. I don’t see JPM pulling a BSC because the FED will give them what they need to continue on. I do see BAC dying at some point for sure.
We will get the same rhetoric from congress, a few new onerous rules that appear to the unassuming that something is being done, and this country will go deeper into the shitter.
Investigated by SEC ? you are kidding of course
Well, you’ve got to let those Government officials make a few bucks by front running the news.
yup gotta payup at 27IV for one day of protection lol
it may be isolated but Moodys is going to downgrade a whole bunch of banks so its just the beginning
Wow, I wonder why JPM trades like a drunken and drug-addled Riverboat gambler. Must be that some taxpayers bail them out whenever they lose.
Exactly! We get this type behavior because past failure was not punished. Capitalism can work. However, capitalism doesn’t have a chance of working when risk is removed and we want to pretend we can make life fair and ensure everyone has the same outcome despite different effort and different decisions.
maybe Jamie will retire soon and get 20 gadzillion dollars.
This does seem to be isolated to just JPM, but I’m starting to get the feeling the market as a whole will use this as an excuse to shit itself anyways.
gentlemen and lady bulls,
i am boosting your accts and by the opening this will happen
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=gupqbEYrLOo&vq=medium
I’M the man. I sold ever position I had at 1:30 today so that I would have cash for facebook. Mabey I’ll pass on Facebook and keep the cash
This is a blip on the radar. USPS lost over $3 Billion in the first quarter. They don’t get loans from the government either.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/05/10/us-usa-postal-loss-idUSBRE84914R20120510
Bomer said yesterday ” there will be no more bailouts”
Right, and if you believe any politician of any party, will tell you the truth, I have some ocean front property in Arizona to sell you.
there’s no watering down the Volcker rule or Dodd-Frank now. bank equities are going to get hammered tomorrow with ROE assumptions getting slashed even further.
JPM has done nothing more than conform to rank tradition in the entire banking industry, indiscreet feigned ignorance of controls, checks, reporting plus naive plaintive excuses for failure. Factoid: bank managements are, have been and will continue to be self-serving whores.
Well said!
Okay, here’s the plan… You(JPM) go into debt to federal reserve, borrow shitloads then lose a couple billion in derivatives. I’ll(GS) make that 2 billion from being on the other side, plus buy a shitload of JPM puts just before you announce it, and use those winnings to create even more credit to lose it back to you, who will buy GS puts at the right time. We repeat the process and each time we add a shit load of more leverage by using the “winnings” as a collateral to borrow even more and keep the leverage game going. Meanwhile we will keep on paying shitloads of bonuses to ourselves, just in case the economy hits the fan. We keep this game going until not even Goldman will survive the next 2008 style event and the government is broke as fuck from bailing us out, and then we use our riches from the bonuses to start a new company and press the “reset” button. Or control the world via banking monopoly combined with socialism as a so called “solution” to the problem we will create…
sound good?
Great
the FAZ mobile is tuned
Don’t worry about the noise. Just put your helmets on and “Chase what matters.”
What mattets?
I seriously doubt Goldman was on the other side of that trade. This is utter bullshit. JD should step aside tomorrow. When these whore banks became more crazy than hedge funds you have to wonder what is the point of this? 30 years ago the investment banks helped allocate capital to new or expanding businesses. I guess they created all these synthetic derivatives in the roaring 90’s to enrich executives and somewhere along the way thought they were as smart as hedge funds. These black market POS synthetic derivatives and the entire shadow banking system need to be wiped clean with a fucking piece of high grit sandpaper soaked in metal melting acid. Talk about a new clean asshole. I am more than willing to revisit 2009 lows to get the Volker rule and these psycho banks put back in their place to do the original job they were put on earth to do besides enriching top management. When I hear the word synthetic I run!!! I am selling all clients financials tommorow at the open could care less about the price. I don’t give a shit what happens but this is a cruel joke all over again. The tip of the iceberg or isolated incident??
agreed JD should step down. No whoreshit (sic) that he wasnt aware of CIO investments. With those types of losses you damn well better know what the fuck is going on.
How does JD not know when articles like this have been coming out for a month
http://www.marketplace.org/topics/business/london-whale-taking-big-bets-debt-market
PS: Totally pissed I closed out some of my R2000 and CRM puts today for big gains. It felt like we were winding up for a snap back. Would rather be net short heading into the next few trading days. I think the only banks I might buy on crashes are the local/small bank index QABA ETF. Fuck the major Wall St. playas.
here we go !!!!!!!!
http://www.cnbc.com/id/47379935
http://www.cnbc.com/id/47372436
Those 41 puts were all in small size and many of them were sold on the bid.
I don’t believe in coincidences.
Fly, give a heads up if, and when, the “PPT” provides members with similar alerts.
I might join. Then.
A bank(/sarc) losing money? How the fuck does this happen? A math error? So much for these guys being sooooo smart.
BTW Gerri Willis has nice hair.
“The hedge was “flawed, complex, poorly reviewed, poorly executed and poorly monitored,” CEO Jamie Dimon said on a hastily organized conference call.”
Good thing he wasn’t in charge at the time. Oh wait…
im going to buy “C” at $3.05 again..
GE @ $8.00 again
probably be able to buy JPM @ $$1.00 shortly
my list is extensive
Banzai !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he did this in China he would be tried and sentenced to death in a kanagaroo court then hung up on a meat hook with piano wire while he watched his family get beat to death before he died.
I say we offshore our legal system, think of the money we could save.
well im freaked out now…i think we may be heading for a full on bear market. its time to get serious about managing risk.
Listened in on the call live and JD talked a good game. Any thoughts that clients may leave JPM a la BSC?
funny how history rhymes, and just a thinking out loud.
If they go BK and do not get bailed out, like Bear Stearns and Lehman did, I wonder if their clients would get MF-Globaled. Dimon might go in front of Congress and say “Honestly I have no idea where the money went.”
Yeah, the smartest guy in the room will have absolutely no memory of anything that might have occured before breakfast that morning. He deserves a few years of rough sex in a third world prison.
bot a little SH in the PM me wishes I bout more. Just didnt like the way the tape was fading.
Mark Carney must be basking in the pureness of this schadenfreude moment.
Carney is shitting his own sheets. IF china slows commods get taken to the curb, and thats all Canada has right now. manufacturing is dead, and the Real estate in TO and the Couv get shit kicked.
how many legs down is 400 points on the s&p ?
wondering how many arms & legs down it is with a 3,000 point drop in the dow ?
hahaah. You are fucking nuts
Fly. What’s up with the creepy financial news commentary login req.?
Do you know that’s there?
pls sign up. We were getting LOTS of spam and needed to put login to avoid. We will leave it there for a few weeks then take down.
Plus, we are GAMIFYING iBC soon and you will want to sign up anyway.
Thanks a bunch for rationale. I will be in the degenerate metropolis aka Las Vegas next week. Will be bizy.
Maybe I will sign up. Will see… .
Reminds me of the old EF Hutton ad line, delivered with a deep voice… “We make money the old-fashioned way.(pause) We earn it.”
Bears will be wrong until they are right. Will be a black swan in a similar vein as this, but probably x100 x1000
Do you really think HUMAN BEINGS with all their flaws, greed, negligence, imperfection; Can control the magnitude of current numbers
I took my largest trade of vix ever before the close today, on other overnight possibilities. Sometimes, you do get lucky
Just like the inside puts traded on 9/11, they will never bust anyone for it. Even if they know who it was.
This seems so totally surreal to me, it’s like WTF Dimon??? Did f-cling space aliens land on the rooftop and fly off with you synthetic god-knows-what?
Strange times, strange times, indeed.
No worries about JPM … no doubt it was they who bought all those puts on themselves.
Diamond, in the rough? new book title?
was just thinkin, jpm has a buy back. what if this was planned? how to make my friends rich and build my company at the same time.
Story has been around for a few weeks, but Jamie “bring me his head on a pike” Dimon kept placing bets. Maybe he just didn’t give a shit because he was gambling with MF Global’s money. What a piece of shit he is. Not to worry, what ever happens, Shark Boy will end up with his billions in tact thanks to all of us. Certainly can’t expect him to endure any hardships you know.
Look, JPM is apparently still 8 billion up on those instruments they bought. The problem of course is that they booked profits of 10 billion in prior quarters.
This isn’t a cause for alarm, although I understand how bank losses can make people skittish.