Flash: Green Mountain Coffee (GMCR) Shares Surge by 25% on Starbucks (SBUX) Deal

The rumor has finally been confirmed: Starbucks will sell its coffee and tea products via Green Mountain’s Keurig single server machine of wonder and amazement. As a result, shares of Green Mountain Coffee (GMCR) are surging this morning, now up more than 25%.  It’s also worth mentioning, shares of Starbucks (SBUX) are plowing ahead to the tune of 8% too in early pre-market trading.

Lo and behold, the tea bags over at Moody’s now cite a negative outlook, due to Spain’s lack of money. Just 3 months ago they said “outlook stable.” Moody’s believes the cost to restructure Spain’s abysmal banking system will cost much more than projected. Hence, they’re all bearish and shit now.

That’s it, I’m officially spooked. I don’t like the tone of everything; it’s so fucking ominous. By hook or crook, I am raising cash tomorrow and I might throw on a short sale or two, in order to protect my winnings. As much as I would like this market to break out to the upside, it’s apparent to me that risk is becoming a bad word. And plus the dick-suckers from HCA are coming public again. This just wreaks of market top.

My favorite hedge, under normal conditions, would be SCO. However, the beasts from the middle east have ruined that trade. I might go with something more traditional, a classic ETF like TZA or EDZ. I don’t mind getting electrocuted in one of those fuckers for a few days. They’re just trades people. There is no reason to over-think this shit.

As battles rage in Libya, oil futures firmed up by .30, on fears of additional supply disruption. At the same time, inflation is running hot in Asia, as evidenced by Korea’s February PPI data, rolling in at a smoking hot 6.6%. As a result, they raised rates to 3% tonight. At the moment, Australia is down 1.5%, Japan -1.4%, Korea -1.1%, and Hong Kong 0.6%.

Moreover, Chinese exports unexpectedly cooled in February, growing by just 2.4%, while imports surged ahead by more than 19%. And, to make matters worse, Japanese GDP shrank by 1.3% last quarter, as that nation is embedded in the most fucktarded deflationary vortex since the Romans let the Barbarian hordes permeate their city walls.

U.S. futures are trading more than 10 points below fair value on the S&P.

The largest private sector hospital in the country, HCA, priced to ipo at the high end its range at $30. They are expected to begin trading on Thursday.

Back in 2006, private equity vampires took HCA private for $21 billion and shortly thereafter began to bleed the company out, taking more than $4 billion in divvies. Fast forward 5 short years, Bain Capital, KKR and Bank of America Merrill Lynch, alongside the southern gentlemen corralled in the Frist family, are cashing the fuck in, netting a tad more than $468 millski. Not bad for a deal built entirely on debt.

It’s also worth noting, HCA will come public with more than $25 billion in debt and do not stand to benefit from said offering.

On the news that Bill Gross, head weirdo at PIMCO, sold all of his treasuries, the market responded by bidding them up.

Long dated treasuries, best represented by TLT, was up more than 0.95% today, closing at $90.55. The million dollar question is: where will Bill put his money next? Corporates? Munis? Fucking idiotic and childish stamp collection?

TLT

Miss earnings and get your head chopped off. Following fanatical run ups in small to large cap tech stocks last year, share holders bases are riddled with abject idiots, only interested in the fast trade. The result of such a fickle investor class: carnage.

The following are leadership tech names, with market caps above $5 billion, that have fallen victim to the idiot shareholder base–thanks to sentiment change.

CREE -27%
DLB -23%
AKAM -22%
FFIV -18%
NOK -17%
TKC -16%
FTR -15%
NIHD -14%
MRVL -13%
AUO -12%
ROVI -12%

As an aside, copper giant FCX is down 18% year to date.

I sold more than I bought today, raising my cash position to about 10%. There has been a lot of carnage in the tech sector this year and yet here we are, straddling near the highs. We are see-sawing with oil here, due to the ridiculous belief that $100 crude will hurt rich fuckers buying Maybachs. Look you, the box that I drive in is fancier than yours for a reason: I don’t give a shit about money and tend to blow it on weird stuff, like dinosaur bones or ancient swords (no, I’m not interested in having a sword fight).

The market is testing the waters here, shaking out the gimps. By the time you midgets are back in your gimps crates, all of us here on the outside will be having orgies with beautiful women and throwing caviar at one another—like gluttonous pigs dressed in tuxedos. In layman’s terms, you’re gonna miss the party because you are a gimp.

Copper is selling off to the STAGGERING TUNE of like 6%, over the past month. Any idea how much that shit is up, over the past year? Any?

It’s the beginning of March and the Irish are getting ready to drink themselves smart. Relax and go crack open a nice bottle of wine, while you watch the fucking cavemen in the middle east chop each others heads off.

Top pick: OPEN

I added to my OPEN position, buying 1,000 sub $88.

Disclaimer: If you buy OPEN because of this post, The House of Saud will fall tomorrow. And, you may lose money.

Ten billion dollar hedge fund,  Maverick Capital (based out of Dallas), founded by suspected “sham system operator” Lee Ainslie and the Wyly brothers (Evan, Sam, Charles) are having their collective heads handed to them this week, long a plethora of stocks that have fallen victim to the market guillotine.

Here are the 1 week returns for some of their biggest holdings:

FNSR -35%

URBN -16%

MRVL -10%

VIT -10%

SWKS -6%

Additionally, according to recent filings, they own more than 3% of SVN, down more than 12% today.

On the flip side, again according to recent filings, they own more than 9% of retailer PLCE, up 12% during today’s trading session so far.

Other sizable holdings include: SWI, CSII, IRWD, HMIN, LFT, PWRD, APOL and PACB