Watch Your Face

Right now, the market is like a perilous time bomb, disguised as an ice scream sundae—a banana split if you will— with cherries on it. The moment you dig in for a bite—BOOM!–off with your head. Trust me, it would make for an excellent movie. This warning applies to both longs and shorts: the market is up to something very tricky—a September surprise if I might be so bold as to suggest one.

I am quite pleased with the performance of Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] . It is one of my top positions and it has been acting like a bitch of a whore, as of late. Out of all the 4g names out there, STAR has the most upside, being the dominant player in the core router market. Additionally, I like the action in General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] and Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] .

On the other hand, energy stocks are underperforming, which is a temporary condition. Should the market hold onto its gains today, the energy stocks will follow—kicking and screaming. On dips, I like Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] and Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] .

On a bad day, like today, why not tell the pizza faces from CNBC to go fuck themselves? After all, they make people nervous all day long, with their fucked up stories and jackass analysis. Whether you are long or short the market, the sentiment is unanimous: fuck CNBC and the mechanical rodeo horse it rides on.

All day long, friends, enemies, website people and a multitude of random fucktards were shitting their pants over today’s decline. They cite the downside volume, coupled with seasonality. They tell tales of calamity, all the while stuffing their fat fucking faces with expensive fish.

Let me tell you something, I didn’t sell anything today, nor did I buy. I don’t dance to the music that you and your homo friends prefer. “The Fly” is football fields ahead of you, with an IQ north of 155 and a market hand as heavy as a lead frying pan.

I close out today’s session, confident in history repeating itself. Certain readings from The PPT tell me we are very close, if not at, the bottom of this recent sell-off. If I am wrong, I will adjust accordingly. If not, it will go down as just another win for Senor Tropicana. And, most of you could just ignore how I nailed the market, yet again, while continuing to trade yourselves into a stupid homo box.

In the event this is the real deal, once again, go raise some cash and live to fight another day. It does not matter what your percentage losses are; they can always get worse. While, at the moment, I am not advocating any short positions; I am telling you to get the fucking cocaine out of your ears son and remember Lehman.

Go ahead and remember last year, when you were shitting the shower and pissing the closet. Your losses were so huge, so massive, part time work at Target seemed inevitable. Fast forward one year and here you are sucking grapes down your stupid neck, while feeding the local birds toxic doses of high grade fertilizer—rightfully so.

I am looking at my position sheets and it vexes me to no end that I did not lock in last weeks wins. Instead, I sit here, getting beat over the head with a homo-hammer, while the rest of you trade yourselves stupid.

Look, this is what I am planning:

If the weakness continues, for downside protection, I will initiate some downside index hedges. And, I will sell a little more, just to make myself feel all warm and cuddly at night. In addition, I am building a watchlist of stocks worthy of purchase, particularly on dips. Lastly, I will execute all of my plans methodically, rushing nothing—since I have a lifetime to bank coin.

Look at ACADIA Pharmaceuticals Inc. [[ACAD]] . Let that be a reminder to you biotech lovers; they are nothing more or less than small ticking time bombs readying to blow your arms off. Hence, I rarely buy or sell biotech stocks, mainly because I like my arms.

Commercial Re stocks are getting gunned down today—rightfully so. It is very tempting to sell short some Kimco Realty Corporation [[KIM]] and The Macerich Company [[MAC]] here. However, I made a commitment: no selling short while the crazy men are saving the world. With that being said, it’s not a bad idea to have cash on the sidelines. For a little more than 2 weeks, I’ve been sitting with (give or take) a 30% cash position. By the looks of this market, I should have sold more.

At any rate, American International Group, Inc. [[AIG]] is spooking the market today; but who gives a shit? The market needs a little fear, in order to squash the complacency and give the buyers some decent discounts. With my money, I will be buying Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] , Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] , Sunstone Hotel Investors, Inc [[SHO]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] on dips.

Let this be a warning to you euro/asia-trash GQ type: America is going to rob you stupid, through various means—whether it be through war, famine or some sort of fucked up hybrid aids flu virus. Moreover, we look forward to exploiting the cheap labor pools in South East Asia, or the North for that matter. Drug traffickers are more than welcome to flood our streets with heroin, providing it keeps the proletariat docile.

Through unchecked greed and outright carelessness, we got ourselves into a pickle jar—one year ago today. Since then, we have borrowed more money than the world has ever seen, just to keep the party going a little longer—just to placate the present power structure. Fuck the future.

Some people say America will pay dearly for borrowing so much money and for not producing anything. To those people, I implore you, take a look at our Navy and Airforce. It will take China 100 years to match our current forces. By then, our hooks will be so deep into our enemies necks; they will have no choice but to obey us.

So, laugh at us all you want for making fucked up cars and bullshit blenders; we own you—despite making nothing.

This message was brought to you by a proud owner of U.S Treasury notes.