Fly Buys: SNV, C, SRS, IBKR

I bought 20,000 Synovus Financial Corp. [[SNV]] @ $12.75, 20,000 Citigroup Inc. [[C]] @ $20.10 and 1,000 [[SRS]] @ $72.34.

UPDATE: I bought 20,000 Interactive Brokers Group, Inc. [[IBKR]] @ $21.62. And, I bought 10,000 SNV @ $12.71.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the government will arrest you for being an active short seller. And, you may lose money.

Our government demands, mind you, that people make money long equities. Luckily for “The Fly,” he is a HUGE government hack, with martyr like patriotism. Hence, he (“The Fly”) is long Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , in egregious size.

I almost feel sorry for some of you corn can fuckers. Almost.

Let this be a lesson to all of you. A market thesis works until it changes. Just like that, with a snap of a finger, the gov’t cheese makers changed the playing field. Either conform to the market or get eaten whole by it.

Unfortunately, many of you asset managers out there are inadequately prepared to deal with this market, due to your low IQ. As you know, “The Fly” is here to help and your invoices will arrive shortly.

With my money, like a rat, I nibbled on [[SRS]] , due to the fact that reits can still be shorted. Fuck the reits and the motherless whores who run them.

I really like Citigroup Inc. [[C]] here. Even at $20, it is my belief the Treasury will goose step this bank up to $25, where I will book a 7 figure profit and spark an old cuban to celebrate my greatness.

Finally, the Fed will be printing money like a motherfucker now. On that news, get long energy and gold stocks. Right here, I like National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] , Hecla Mining Company [[HL]] , Royal Gold, Inc. [[RGLD]] and ConocoPhillips [[COP]] , amongst others. Or, you can just get lazy and buy [[DIG]] .

NOTE: Preferred holders, [[PGF]] and [[PGX]] , look good here too.

UPDATE: I bought 10,000 Synovus Financial Corp. [[SNV]] @ $12.75.

I bet American International Group, Inc. [[AIG]] wishes the government did this a few weeks ago, no? However, I suppose the government mug fuckers were interested in a little nationalization. Nothing wrong with communism, considering how dumb everyone is.

Listen up, this is not time to short stocks. As you know, the SEC has banned short selling in 799 financial stocks, in order to save the United States from certain death. I know this sounds insanely silly, but today may turn out to be one of those epic days when everything changed.

Taking the toxic shit off the banks’ balance sheets and putting it on the tax payers laps is ludicrous— but likely necessary. The government has a choice: they can spend $500 billion now, or trillions later on a Armageddon type melt down.

I am not going to switch my philosophy on the gayness of U.S. equities. However, I am not going to get in the way of this run away train. I rather hop on it for a joy ride.

Top picks: Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]]

Loophole UPDATE: Banks that ARE NOT on the SEC’s short sale ban list will get boot stomped. Go look for them. CIT Group Inc. [[CIT]] and Annaly Capital Management, Inc. [[NLY]] are NOT on the list. And, neither are the reits, making [[SRS]] an incredible buy down here. Food for thought.

It’s quite brazen, you must admit. Now that the Bush administration has declared Al Qaeda to be active short sellers in our banks, I think it’s safe to assume they will now rifle them higher.

What a difference one day makes, no?

Courtesy of The PPT, I ran a screen for financials, priced above $5, with a high percentage of shares sold short.

BEHOLD:

So the government may issue 400-700 billion dollars in short term notes, in order to take the garbagio off the banks’ balance sheets. In other words, the tax payer will eat Wall Streets losses, while they (Wall Street) get back to business as usual. Without a doubt, such a facility will help the banks short term, but fuck the economy long term. Gold should rally and the dollar should suffer.

After today’s trading, I am pretty sure my life expectancy dropped by 5 years.

I have not moved this fast, since the dot com bubble days. Literally, I moved millions on the short side to long, in a matter of 30 minutes.

Typically, i would never act so rashly. But, I have a hunch this plan may resonate with Wall Street. And, coupled with the fact that the media is blaming Al Qaeda for shorting American financial institutions, I suspect the rally will continue.

But, if it doesn’t, I will file a class action law suit against CNBC for disseminating false rumors.

The assholes on CNBC were half way dead when Morgan Stanley [[MS]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] were printing at the lows. Incessantly, they were trying to rally the stocks, in order to help a few assholes out. Then, Charlie “meatball” Gasparino released the RTC rumor.

Now, if this turns out to be one big circle jerk, I will quickly blow out of my Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , [[UYG]] and [[ROM]] , and reverse course again. This is my stupid life.

At the end of the day, Bill Miller from Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] is still an asshole (did LM really print $51 today?). And, the economy is still a filthy cess pool. Nonetheless, in the interim, there may be limited upside over the next week or so.

UPDATE: The SEC is going to ban short selling, for an undetermined time frame. With “The Fly” covering his shorts today and going long, the term “The Fly Wins again, even when he appears to be losing badly” applies.

Truly, today was the most nerve racking day in years. Early this morning I was on this site telling everyone the market was going to zero. Now, I am here telling you I covered my shorts and went long Citigroup Inc. [[C]] .

Amazingly fucktarded.

Let me recap:

The government may set up an RTC facility that will eat all of the losses on the banks’ balance sheets, which will enable them to lend again.

Long story short, this is a fast market and you have to adjust accordingly, else lose it all.

At first, I was skeptical of the rally, when we were up 100. However, once I heard that an RTC fund may be set up, I ran for cover, like a little bitch.

All in all, I sold 95% of my [[SKF]] , in the low 120’s. I sold 95% of my [[SRS]] in the mid 80’s to mid 90’s. I covered my entire Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] , AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] , Pzena Investment Management, Inc. [[PZN]] , PacWest Bancorp [[PACW]] , Fifth Third Bancorp [[FITB]] and Vulcan Materials Company [[VMC]] short positions.

Then, I reversed course and bought truckloads of Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , [[ROM]] , [[UYG]] and Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] .

Long story short: today was mind numbingly nerve racking. However, as always, I intend to end up on top.

NOTE: I bought more than 100,000 C today.

NOTE II: This morning, I was up another 10%. Then, as things reversed, I was down 8%. Then, I went long and ended down a mere 2%. Just another day at the office.

Off to drink myself stupid.

I bought 40,000 Citigroup Inc. [[C]] @ $15.36.

Seriously, I am a bit confused by today’s tape. I never get nervous or jumpy; but I am today.

With Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] and Morgan Stanley [[MS]] knifing lower, what the fuck is everybody celebrating?

I even got sucked into a quick [[UYG]] trade (for a profit might I add); but this is bullshit.

I am shorting AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] and getting tortured for doing so. Idiots are buying reits, sending [[SRS]] lower. And, assholes on tv are suggesting the recent flurry in the banks is being done by “financial terrorists,” an Al Qaeda cell trying to take down the country.

Are you fucking kidding me?

They cannot be serious right?

So, it was Al Qaeda who made all those assholish loans and packaged them into cdo’s? I see.

With my money, I am as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. Nonetheless, I am buying [[SKF]] and [[SRS]] on this dip. And, I will continue to short those fucking French faggots (AXA) until the dollar becomes cool again.

NOTE: Apparently it’s unpatriotic to short GS. Just thought you should know that.

The U.K. has decided to just ban short sellers. Here in the U.S., there are open outcries to limit or prohibit short sellers. As a result, one big giant short squeeze has just ensued.

Think fast and understand that men with large red clown noses will buy banks, even if a nuclear bomb detonated on the exchange.

This little rally can last a bit, as people scramble to cover.

As a hedge, unfortunately, [[UYG]] may be a place to scalp a trade.

UPDATE: Panicked a little, I covered my entire Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] short at $30. And, I sold some [[SRS]] in the mid 90’s. However, I still have 90% of my position. Also, I bought some [[UYG]] at $17.

But, this new plan to kill shorts will not work. As a point in fact, it failed miserably in China this year, as evidenced by their exchange getting boot stomped by 60%.

Basically, I am getting all greedy and shit, trying to hold onto gains. Sometimes it’s better to do nothing and drink milkshakes. However, this is not one of those times.

UPDATE II: I sold out of my UYG trade, for a small profit.

UPDATE III: I bought 3,000 [[SKF]] @ $134 and 2,000 [[SRS]] @ $88.15.

UPDATE IV: I sold short 2,000 AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] @ $30.55

All I hear is cries for government intervention. Everyone is demanding that the government come in and bail everyone out.

Assholes, we live in a free/capitalistic society. This is not Soviet Russia or authoritarian Zimbabwe. How much do you want them to do?

They have already overstepped their bounds. It’s sort of like trying to resuscitate a patient who is dead. Eventually you have to give up and register the time of death.

Listen to me: the financial system is dead. Within days, both Morgan Stanley [[MS]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] will be gone, via bankruptcy or acquisition. The age of the investment banks is over and it ended in a very egregious way.

So, quit blaming short sellers or the fucking Fed for our problems. Wall Street created these weapons of mass financial destruction, now live with them— and die by them.

NOTE: I am not covering any shorts. In fact, I just loaded up on my AXA (ADR) [[AXA]] short. And, I bought more [[SRS]] .