C You Later

Get ready for a Citigroup Inc. [[C]] crisis. With the stock knifing lower, sub $10, and credit default swaps through the roof, prepare for talks of a Citibank bankruptcy.

Fuck, right away, I will wire my money out of that shitbox, back into my JPMorgan Chase & Co. [[JPM]] account.

The rally, which was made from marshmallows and goose down feathers, has failed. Now, we’re coming for that transvestites (Art Hogan) bottom call, around 7,800.

Here we come you cockless bastard!

As an aside, I am thinking about covering some of my shorts tomorrow. I can see the market crashing here and knifing lower tomorrow morning, then bounce. Boing!

Until then, I will enjoy the bloodshed, from the luxury of my short positions, much to Tim Knight’s chagrin.

UPDATE: I sold short 5,000 Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] @ $14.50

UPDATE: I bought 10,000 [[UYM]] @ $14.89. And, I am selling my [[REW]] position, north of $133.

Most of these men have deformed faces and reside from the darkest, sewage infested, corners of the Earth. They wear shirts made from burlap and pants made from velcro. They drink tea, made from wild gypson plants and eat the flesh of domesticated hamsters.

I fight these people every day. “The Fly” is a beacon of truth in a world filled with unsavory liars, who would slit the throats of elderly people in wheeled chairs, in order to take their food stamps or take the rubber off of their wheeled chairs.

I have fought many battles and seen many things; but none as hideous and monstrous as the cretins who circle the wagons of truth on the internet.

These men are heathens of the lowest order, unable to discern a bar of soap from a bowl of strawberry jelly.

So, when you are over there, in the discomfort of your bullshit pleather chair from Staples, just know, “The Fly” is in the trenches, having a good ol’ time tossing nuclear bomb grenades back and forth with gargoyles.

Top Pick: short Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]]

UPDATE:

Sometime soon, we will get a nice rally in the market. However, I will not bet big on it. If anything, I’ll trade small and try to scalp a little. Basically, oil is leading the market by the nose. I do not trust oil. I think it’s in freefall mode and whoever is trying to bottom fish will get his/her respective faces ripped off.

Right out the gates, I see Chinese stocks are up, which is punishing my [[FXP]] . Normally, I’d buy the dip right away. But, being 80% short, my position is to cover my shorts on dips, not add to them on spikes. With the 10% cash I have left, I will use it for an emergency situation, such as: “OMG, FXP is down $20, what will I do”?

The market is made from marshmallows and goose down feathers. The bulls are weak bitches, hung over from doing diluted lines of blow the night before.

As you know, “The Fly” has some pretty sizable positions in [[REW]] , [[EEV]] , [[FXP]] , [[SDS]] and short Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] . I’ll have you know, in addition to you already knowing, I intend to sell my inverses and cover my HK short at more advantageous prices that what my screen is registering now—as a point in fact, unbeknownst to many of you.

So, with that in mind, I will have a looksy over the market, and get a buy list ready, for when the market is ready to bounce. Just know, we are not bouncing today.

No Sir. We shall first taste the infamous “Art Hogan” bottom, prior to any sustainable uptick.

ROFL UPDATE: “Our children will remember Hank Paulson.”

Deservedly so.

Click here for Asian fun XXX.

UPDATE: More late night pick-me-ups:

UPDATE II: Classic Krull.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nix_YStjhpU 450 300]

Oil and gas companies will start to hemorrhage cash, then fold. How can tar sand companies, like Suncor Energy Inc. (USA) [[SU]] , stay in business, when it costs more to extract oil than sell it?

Answer: they can’t.

Just like we saw in the late 90’s, when oil was $10 per barrel, oil/gas companies will begin to close up shop, at an alarming rate. No one is drilling for oil. With oil tanking on a daily basis, you have to be out of your fucking mind to lease a rig from National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] or Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] . Plus, how much did it cost RIG and NOV to produce those rigs, when steel was 200% higher?

People, the bottom has dropped out of the oil space. In size, I am long massive amounts of [[DUG]] and short an absurd amount of Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] .

All commodity related names will get the stuffing kicked out of them, but none more than oil. Many, many names will go all the way to zero. You heard it here first.

As you can see, I am constantly adapting to the market. To some of you newer types, my style, at times, may appear to be insane. However, just know, my goal is to debank the market of its coin and keep it for myself.

At the present, I am 80% short, 10% long and 10% cash. My guess, we’re coming for Art Hogan and his asinine bottom call, at 7,700—sometime soon.

Trade accordingly.

NOTE: For the day, I was up more than 10%, putting my year to date gains over 75%, yet another new high.

China is shifting policy from plowing reserves into forex to investing internally. At the same time, our government is jacking up spending by the trillions, in order to artificially prop up businesses. Quit frankly, where the fuck is the money coming from?

We are a debtor nation. Without the support of foreign government buying our notes, we will default. The reality of higher taxes will come to fruition, because of necessity, not choice.

Of course it’s easy to get all doom and gloom, as the market knifes lower. However, look at the bigger picture. World growth is slowing to a standstill. Domestic employment is through the floor boards and America, individually and as a whole, are insolvent.

Sure, we can print more notes. The expense will be great and the pain will be ridiculous.

With that in mind, long term, shorting treasuries, via [[TBT]] , is a dunk shot bet. Eventually, rates have to go up, in order to entice investment.

In the meantime, hedge up or face certain financial death.

Barrons has a good read about America’s dicey line of credit.

UPDATE: Last bull surrenders.

“The Fly” is into change now—big time. I want to change the landscape of my neighborhood, via buying my neighbors houses in foreclosure and converting them into petting zoos or safe houses for big booted clowns.

I want to change the internets, forcing third tier bloggers into destitute squalor. I want to destroy certain teevee celebrities, via debanking them in the most inhuman “Peal Harbor-esque” manner.

Plutonium Petey is all about doing the things mentioned above, while at the same time offsetting all of that bad karma, via helping you sloppy retards bank coin in the market.

All of you fuckers owe me at least 50 hours of community service. Do not be surprised if you get a notice in the mail, summoning you to place orange cones around my neighborhood or clean my windows.

As you read this, you’re thinking “asshole, how about talking about the market, eh? Ha, asshole, what should I buy”?

Well, if you are going to take that sort of tone with me, I say: fuck you. No stock picks for you!

What? You apologize?

Too late, goat fucker.

“The Fly” has many enemies and many battle scars, through years of hand to hand combat with these egg heads, to prove his valour [sic]. Which reminds me, I am planning a trip to Africa, in order to murder some elephants and other “precious creatures,” in order to make an ivory key chain. Fuck animals.

Finally, if there is anything you blue collared type should take from this post, it is: oil is leading the market lower and to never insult Senor Tropicana, even if it’s merely a “thought crime.”

Top picks: [[FXP]] , [[EEV]] and short Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]]

I am very close to disabling the comments section altogether, for you fuckers are making me sick.

Quit talking shit. This is not the yahoo message boards. This is a place of honor and class. Act accordingly, fuckfaces.

As you can see by today’s tape, the world is coming to an end. With oil sub $60, I am dancing on the graves of the Texas Tea makers and Saudi sheet fuckers. Even at these levels, I like the prospects of [[DUG]] going higher.

One thing to note: only pussies stay in cash. So, with that being said, should you find yourself in cash, you know what you are.

Finally, for some odd, mystical reason, [[FXP]] is barely up. I say: shenanigans! Lean on those fucking Chinese names, including China Life Insurance Company Ltd. (ADR) [[LFC]] , China Mobile Ltd. (ADR) [[CHL]] , PetroChina Company Limited (ADR) [[PTR]] and China Mobile Ltd. (ADR) [[CHL]] , regardless of what metrosexual men on the goggle box say. That fucker, as sure as I am sitting here, will print $100 by Thanksgiving.

NOTE: I have multiple wins today, with zero losses.

NOTE II: Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] to single digits.

Tim Seymour, Asshat

Watching a replay of tonight’s Fast Money, I discovered a man well deserving of the Asshat Trophy. The “King of Russian Equities,” proclaimer of all cheap things in Asia, Tim Seymour, disclosed he was long my enemy, [[FXI]] , in a most egregious fashion, if I might be so bold as to say so.

First of all, the name “Tim” gets no points with “The Fly.” In the 32 Godly years being alive, I have yet to meet a man/woman named “Tim” that was not deserving of an “apple pie sandwich” to the face.

Anyway, Tim, from Seygem Asset Management, was rambling on about how much those Chinese bastards are liars (I am paraphrasing), while acting in a very “cocaine-ish” type of manner, if you know what I mean. Tim said many great things about how gay the Chinese market/economy is and was, much to my delight. I’ll have you know, “The Fly” was warming up to this Tim guy, while wolfing down junk food.

However, in an odd twist of Chinese fuckery, something that cannot be explained using the laws of modern science and/or reason, he (Tim) then proceeded to disclose (in a very deliberate slow motion sort of way) it might be “worth a shot” (again paraphrasing) getting long China in huge gay ways (paraphrasing, yet again), down at these ‘tard levels. Then some little breaking news flash thingy raced under his name, disclosing he was, in fact, long [[FXI]] .

(Gasp for air)

I stopped eating my potato chips. Suddenly, I became enraged with the joy of knowing that sometime soon, I would relish in the opportunity of destroying this man named “Tim,” with all of my frantic/over caffeinated might and superior intelligence quotient, without ever having to meet him—which is mildly “chagrinful.”

See, young lads, I shall buy [[FXP]] (the opposite of FXI) until the “white flag of certain surrender “is perched upon his ass backwards Russian automobile. I shall rub it in, mind you, until Mr. Tim shaves his full head of hair off, due to extreme shame.

There shall be no quarter given to this man, even if he happens to legally change his forename to something other than “Tim;” he shall receive the ever ominous, yet risible, black flag.

So Sorry.

Oh, and he also gets an Asshat of the Week Award.

Congrats.