The Credit Card Guillotine Decouples Bears in Asia

Well, you bearshitters can moan and groan all you want; but the credit card guillotine is about to cut your fucking head off.

On the back of better-than-expected holiday sales, so far, Asian markets are sprinting at the open, with Seoul leading the pack, +2.6%.

My sense, barring another “shoe dropping,” U.S. markets will also decouple the heads of short sellers, in early trading, despite the subprime fodder.

Look for retail stocks to lead the way, with squeezes in M, KSS, JCP, AMZN, JCG, AEO, RL and GES.

UPDATE: Seoul now up 4.65%. Fuck you shorts, you’re dead.

Danny nailed the “back of the dirty envelope” economist, nicely.

All of a sudden, everyone is a fucking macro-economist, with extensive field work in the fucktarded art of shorting stocks.

If 99% of the weak kneed investor class is bearish, I think it makes sense to take the other side of that trade, no?

I mean, some of you come here declaring “the next Great Depression is here.” Then, you proceed to explain how “cool” and “savory” you are for buying puts or “loading up short BIDU.”

Mark my words, the wheels of your shitmobile will get knocked off, shortly.

I’m not as old as some of you kidney stone recipients. But, I can attest to this market environment being “reverse 1999,” where all of a sudden everyone is a short selling machine.

You’ve got inverse ETF’s, OEX puts and “technical breakdowns” setting up to make you “Santa Claus money,” right?

Moreover, everyone on the street knows CFC, WM and BSC are going bankrupt—as if it already happened.

Amazing shit.

After all, the banks are a mess. The homies are dead. And the consumer is buried.

Right?

Until you read something like this, you thought you had it all figured out, didn’t you?

Prepare for swift decapitation, via credit card guillotine— fuckface.

“The Fly” shall relish your pending doom, as if it were some sort of real doom that was worth “relishing.”

Viz.

UPDATE: Internet sales up 22% from last year. Again, bearshitters, prepare for the “credit card figure four leg lock.”

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqbIX9LsSgE 450 300]

I bought 2,000 FXP @ $85.75 and 2,000 AEO @ $21.99.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, Santa Claus will break your jaw for Christmas. And, you may lose money.

Unfortunately, due to Mrs. Fly, “The Fly” was busy shopping for overpriced, yet discounted, Japanese electronics—instead of trading and blogging with you retards.

Taking a look at today’s rally gives me relief.

All day, financials, homies, retail and drug stocks led the market higher, with big dicked gains in WF, ETFC, FNM, CORS, FIF, SPF, BZH, CC, BONT, CACH, AZN, NVS, BVX and SNY.

In short, I’d like to see people go out and “spend it all,” in order to burn the bears down to a crispy cinder.

They’re assholes (bears). They will soon feel the other side of the hot blade.

NOTE: At the close, I bought 2,000 FXP.

Seriously, I think my stomach is going to explode.

I’ll make sure that you know, “The Fly” brined and cooked three turkey’s, in order to feed the wide range of guests at his headquarters.

At the end of the night, one could make a valid argument accusing “The Fly” of consuming the majority share of available or idle turkey meat.

Aside from winning at the dinner table, “The Fly” just won at garbage disposal too.

Apparently, I was the only fucker on the block who put his garbage out. Everyone thought the garbage fuckers were home eating turkey.

Wrong again neighbors.

Fly wins again (small victories add up).

NOTE: My local BBY has fuckloads of people waiting, camping out, to buy shit.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxGh6VGxuw0 450 300]

Fuck this, I’m out of here.

“The Fly” will now go into “Chef mode” for big bird day.

Forget the market. Enjoy your food, family and the day off.

See you Friday.

I bought 5,000 MVIS @ $3.93.

Disclaimer: If you buy MVIS because of this post, CES will be canceled. And, you may lose money.

Forget about the credit crisis.

Fuck the homies and their stupid balance sheets.

The fate of the market will be decided by credit card wielding housewives and their ability to “spend a little more.”

The day following Thanksgiving is “Black Friday,” or the day most retailers start banking coin.

Early next week, if retail reports lean towards strength, the recession camp will be blown out—perpetuating a monster rally.

Naturally, should our merchants disappoint, sell it all.