While You Wallow, I Grow Richer

Quit being bullish, you stupid goat fuckers. Why is everyone so quick to call a bottom?

Please. Bear markets, spearheaded by recessions, last for 2-3 years, minimum.

Right now, I do not want to chase [[SKF]] here. However, I do like [[SMN]] and [[DUG]]. Moreover, my favorite trade, ahead of Fed easing, is to be long gold, via [[DGP]].

I know it seems too obvious to work, but it will. Gold is set to break out to a new trading range, just like oil. Additionally, I want to be long yen here, via [[FXY]]. It is my opinion, the dollar is about to shatter the 1995 lows versus the yen, sending FXY to $105. Keep in mind, Japanese corporate hedges will kick in, at some point—sending the dollar reeling.

Finally, “The Fly’s business is burgeoning right now, I’ll have you know. Over this weekend, I intend on eating large quantities of seafood, while barbarically guzzling multiple bottles of Bordeaux.

Fuck you. There is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

I bought 5,000 [[DGP]] @ $27.04.

Disclaimer: If you buy DGP because of this post, the Government will deem your land an “ag play” and seize it. And, you may lose money.

A buzzer beater, if you will.

Odd, no?

UPDATE: Why is Dennis Kneale always on CNBC? HE FUCKING SUCKS.

UPDATE II: CNBC is “live blogging” the Bear Sterns call. Pretty cool.

UPDATE III: What ever happened to that midnight hour bidding war, by foreign bankers, for the junk assets of [[BSC]] that Cramer said would happen? Just curious.

Despite the pending insolvency at [[BSC]], the market is having a difficult time deciding what it wants to do next. All day, ag related stocks have been robust, led by [[MON]], [[POT]] and [[MOS]], much to my chagrin.

Also, certain retail names are bucking the downtrend, specifically [[GME]], [[ZUMZ]], [[PSUN]] and [[CRI]].

With regards to the financials, it’s bloody carnage, led by BSC, [[LEH]], [[CMO]], [[FMD]], [[KBW]], [[FIG]] and [[NCC]].

Personally, I like my chances long [[DGP]], [[UDN]], [[DUG]], [[SMN]], [[SRS]] and [[SKF]]. However, keep in mind, as a country, the stock market is all we have. This is it, our greatest export.

If you believe in conspiracies, you know the Government will do everything they can to prevent a total collapse. With that being said, don’t be stupid. Take profits when you can and never press your shorts, when they are already down big.

With my money, stubbornly, I will short more MOS, waiting for the inevitable breakdown.

Wasn’t it nice to find out there is NO inflation, via today’s CPI data? According to the Fed, gasoline and commodity prices went LOWER. Ha.

Something tells me the g-men are trying to save a few bad dollars in social security payments, via juking the inflation data to appear benign.

Forget about what the idiots with pocket protectors say. We have run away inflation. Trade accordingly.

Apparently, [[BSC]] is on the brink of insolvency. As you know, should the worthless assets of Bear Sterns be recognized for what they are (worthless), the world would slip into a black hole and be eaten by dinosaurs.

So, in order to prevent world destruction, the NY Fed, in their infinite wisdom, decided to save Bear Sterns. Very nice.

Let’s sum up the bullshit country we live in:

During the worst housing crisis in 100 years, we’ve learned, NO ONE is allowed to fail. Everyone is too big. From homebuilders to money centers to low-end brokerage houses to monoline insurers, if you need a little scratch, knock on the Governments door and they’ll help you out. This, as you know, is not capitalism. This is socialism heavy, not light, which is disgraceful.

However, none of my bickering or sharp spikes in interpersonal acts of violence will help anyone make money.

Here’s how I see it:

Fuck Dennis Gartman. Ride this sucker out. When I smell panic, there is bound to be some sort of shoe to drop. Just so you know, the Fed is panicking. If you’re the nervous type, hedge some of your downside plays, with a few longs. No big deal.

Inevitably, those betting on the downside will be right, as the recession deepens and little fuckers like Bear Sterns get washed out.

Someone is going to lose a lot of money tomorrow.

UPDATE: Tesla was a bitch and a thief!

UPDATE II: Once Bernanke is done with your dollar, a loaf of bread and gallon of milk will cost 10 billion dollars. Fuck around, try to go to a movie and shit, that will cost you 100 billion.

We’re all gonna be billionaires!

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4IIFGuj4Bw 450 300]

I cannot blame anyone, novice or pro, to be utterly wrecked with confusion, after witnessing today’s tape. Typically, after a “key reversal” like today’s (from down big to up), I’d say we will rip higher tomorrow. However, seeing how volatile the market is, I cannot say for sure what will happen next.

All I know, for sure, is that [[BSC]] is rife with negative rumors and the dollar is a joke.

If forced to bet, I’d say my shorts will cause me more grief tomorrow, but rebound nicely next week.

The bet is simple: the economy is in rapid decline. Therefore, on every spike, sell short and take the wind out of the bulls. Unfortunately, today, Mother Market punched me in the face, with brass knuckles and all—via [[SMN]].

Finally, there will be some new/interesting changes to iBankCoin soon. I would reveal these changes, but if I did, I’d be forced to track all of you down and punch a jelly donut into your face.

Top pick: Short [[MOS]]

Today’s market is absolutely stupid. Absolutely.

I bought 1,000 [[DUG]] @ $37.50 and 1,000 [[UDN]] @ $29.44.

Disclaimer: If you buy DUG or UDN because of this post, your neighborhood will turn into a desolate cesspool. And, you may lose money.