Crazy Goat Fucker Market

They’re trying to trap you. The market always does this before taking a shit on your face. It’s run by sick people, designed to make you poor and divorced. The downside might not even be too bad– but from top to bottom, you’ll go broke if you play it the wrong way.

All you need is to be 200% leveraged at the top of the market and lose 25% on a stock to lose half of everything you have. Then you will get all desperate and shit, sell at the bottom, miss the run up, then buy into another trappy top–leveraged and down another 25%–for the grande fucking finale down to $00.00.

That’s how this shit happens. You can be the smartest fucker in the world and get wiped the fuck out. We’ve all been there, at least those who are crazy enough to trade in such a manner. Most of my clients keep their long term accounts embedded in boring stocks like IBM, KO and KMB. Since that shit is boring, I never talk about it, opting to discuss the aggrerssive portion of my strategy, because you’re all degenerate OTB guys–otherwise you wouldn’t bother surfing the web for stock tips.

You want a fucking tip, some hot stock advice? Stop listening to assholes on the internet about financial matters. First of all, 99% of the people you read online aren’t professionals. They’re self taught and for the most part winging it fucktards with 10 grand in their online Zeeco accounts. That’s not to say they can’t be great–but it’s rare. Also, can everyone please stop using war as an anecdote for investing? That’s the nerdiest shit in the world. One guy is getting his arm blown off by a grenade, the other just lost $553 in a bad WNR trade–hardly a comparative analogy.

PFFFFFFFFFF.

I don’t adhere to traditional rules. I don’t fucking like them. Stop losses at -10%, why? Sometimes a stock is best picked when down, not running higher. I said it once and I’ll say it again: investing is an art. You have to be creative and find ways to make money, some orthodox, others completely insane and risky.

It’s a crazy goat fucker market and as much as I hate it and want to stab it in the face, I will never stop trading it.

I believe many of you hard left wingers get too defensive when I talk shit about Obama. Clearly I hate all politicians, some more than others of course. I felt Bush was the worst President the world had ever known and now I think Obama is from Kenya. Business as usual at The House of Fly, hating on all politicians since 1976.

But I’m not interested in policies that will help create jobs. I am not concerned about the GDP or anything else that doesn’t affect me. Quite the contrary. I only care about the insolvency of the entire fucking country–because THAT will have a sticking impact on me–forcing me back into a world of grit and murder.

Let’s speak plainly, fucked of the face. If we don’t cut back on the fucking welfare, in 10 years the national debt will be in excess of $25 trillion, not including additional expenditures for our national penchant for wars and bailouts. To service that kind of debt, even with these low rates, we are looking at $500 billion in interest alone. UNSUSTAINABLE.

This is not our problem. I get very upset over financial malfeasance. I have never witnessed retarded incompetence like this and it’s happening in slow motion, BACKED by 47% of you fucking idiots.

In many regards, the country deserves what’s coming. But I figured I might as well voice an opinion on these matters, because it is a life and death crossroad.

Nevertheless, I will not allow my disdain and hatred for my local politician detract from my coin banking ways. Instead of boycotting or shorting stocks, I will bang my cane into the pavement, declaring “tomfoolery” when watching CNBC. December is almost here and I had a very good year. I am exercising discretion because it would be stupid of me to risk too much with so little time left in the year. Also, I am well aware that the national debt is NOT at a tipping point and Ben Bernanke is firmly in charge of the markets, stoned out on 8-balls of blow.

In short, the wall of worry that is “The Fiscal Cliff” will create volatility. We will dive lower by 2,000 points if a bad deal is made, lose 1,000 immediately if no deal is made–and we will rise by 500 upon successful completion of an acceptable can kick. Until this shit is resolved, I will remain defensive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FniHgiyaTY

The White House is requesting a (get this) $1.6 Trillion tax hike. AND, to boot, they want $50 billion in stimulus spending.

In summary, the democrats are shitting on the faces of republicans. They want to raise taxes and spend EVEN MOAR. There is NO FUCKING WAY this deal gets done. Zero percent chance, unless of course the GOP sells out.

The deal is dead.

UPDATE: Republicans have called the President’s offer as a “complete break with reality.”

UPDATE II: The fuckheads in govt put out some data, suggesting that by extending long term unemployment benefits the economy will produce an additional 300k jobs next year through spending. In summary, they want to create new jobs by paying some fucktard at home, who will go out and spend $60 at GME for a new video game, so that he can waste away at home–living for free. WTF?
Must listen:

I am 30% cash and +2% for the day. My gains are now 24% for the year and I can’t stop banking coin. It’s attracted to me like stupid to Detroit.

I will condense my advice into a few thoughts for you.

VHC is going higher, because Judge Davis will nail AAPL to the table on 12/14. The squeeze will be vicious, resembling something one might expect from a wildling.

EXK is going higher because the dollar is shit.

SWHC is going higher because the south has a war to fight, with the north and California.

I’m long UA too, but just for a trade.

That’s all I know right now, as I am fixed on doing just a few things with Space Alien Magician pnache (no homo).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtFBRJFN3p8

I am in a bubble, long stocks that are not tethered to the market. Aside from UA, everything I own is catalyst driven, such as VHC and SWHC. It is not by accident; naturally, it is by design.

Markets are strong based upon hopes that a deal will be struck to avert “The Fiscal Cliff.” I wouldn’t bet on that, if I was you. I’ve been monitoring the hard right and they’re adamant about going over the cliff, causing a crisis, in order to effect real change. They view this showdown as the fucking Alamo, debt ceiling battle revisited, and will not cede to the demands of what the deem to be a malicious President.

You might hear conciliatory messages out of Boehner and other malleable hacks, but not the hard right. Those fuckheads are adamant about driving this ship into the fucking sea floor, AND MORE.

Tread carefully and raise cash.

Sterne Agee is out with a morning note, declaring the coal sector to be oversold. They cite the EPA risks, limiting the prospect of new coal fired plants, as not relevant at the moment, since capacity at existing plants is at around 60-70%. Those are valid points, at least in the near term.

Balance sheets are horrendous, but most coal companies have adequate funding for the foreseeable future. What this comes down to, frankly, is traditional supply/demand metrics and right now natural gas is too cheap to get excited about coal. While it’s true that coal has regained market share at the utilities, every single month since the April lows, it’s also true that 60% capacity is hardly inspiring from an investors viewpoint.

When investing in semiconductors, you want capacity upwards of 90%, in order to reliably predict margin expansion. At 60%, the risk is margin compression.

Here are some one month returns for the coal industry. Keep in mind many of these stocks ran white hot in the month of October.

OXF -51%
JRCC -37%
WLT -20%
ACI -20%
ANR -19.5%
BTU -12%
CNX -9%

Botton Line: I’d avoid buying into this dip. Typically the month of January is a wretched one for coal, whereas February and March are great times to own it–sporting 75% success rates. Be patient and let the blood flow freely. The carnage is far from over. It gets worse before it gets better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg48ZZ2wYfM

I’ve come to this conclusion often, after going through periods of giving a fuck. “The Fly” bitching about the country is my way of caring. But let’s face it, debt is a powerful tool, intended to break nations on purpose. This debt we are saddled with will NEVER be paid down. The special interests have fleeced the treasury and credit markets for trillions. Now they’re coming for your money.

As patriots, many of you accept higher taxes because you want to help your nation–just like you supported corrupt wars against shadows that started this draining. The truth is, and I am very sorry to disappoint you, the plan is to take your coin. This will be the great finale, the closing salvo, the end.

Politicians will blame the people, specifically “the rich,” as they’ve done countless times throughout history. The only way this plot gets disrupted (wait for it), is through armed revolt or secession. I am only saying what you already know to be true. Let’s not be coy.

So as you sit there, pondering the future, worrying about your kids– just know that your money is funding the biggest ponzi scheme the world has ever known. When they are done tapping into the $87 trillion in US assets, the charade will end and you will be permitted to have your freedoms back, only then you’ll be dead.

Fascinating stuff out of bearshitter firm, GLAUCUS, today, with this report. The ‘smoking gun’ in this report is that TEA changed the wording on their website, moving away from indirect claims that their teas are organic. To me, this is pretty fucking huge, a reversal of my former opinion. Nevertheless, the Chief from SBUX, a native from Brooklyn, has a firm $15.50 all cash bid for TEA. Will Schultz back out of this deal because of a little pesticides? Moreover, Glaucus only tested a handful of samples from a singular location, hardly a scientific conclusion.

But the stock is trading $1.25 below its takeover price. What gives?

The market roared today and stocks with big short positions exploded. Shareholders of DECK, JRCC, GMCR and TSL made a fortune. It seems solar is back, likely based upon some hidden agreement by the socialist states of America to fund their losses.

Today was a phenomenal day for bulls. It truly is a sentiment changer and might just pave the way for a very green X-mas.

Top picks: SWHC, UA

Today’s upside reversal is huge. The bears were feeling all powerful and shit, lazily professing on Twitter, “long 8 stocks short 10“, talking about the downside. Lo and behold, the Fed stepped in and fucking drove rail spikes through their social media heads.

You fucking faggots are now tied to railroad tracks with a steamer barreling your way (no brakes!).

I stepped in and loaded up with pistols, increasing my position in SWHC. I am telling you now, the fucking south is arming themselves at an alarming rate. They’re gonna rise up on their northern masters one day and secede! I also bought more VHC. Any questions?

There are a few things that I know to be true now.

1. The South will rise again.
2. VHC is going to kick AAPL in the nuts.

To hedge these bets, I have 30% of my book in cash–long Congressional stupidity. For now, however, things look okay. Let’s just pray to baby Jesus that the perverts in Congress don’t give any statements to the press, from now until the closing bell.

First of all, I just want to remind you that we are going over the fiscal cliff. There is no middle ground between the GOP and Dems. But let’s assume Obama will get his way and raise taxes on “the rich” from 36% to 39%. Do you know how much revenue he will raise?

Answer: $90 billion per annum

Are you aware how much deficit spending Obama is partaking in on an annual basis?

Answer: $1.3 trillion per annum

Am I missing something here? How the fuck is the problem “the rich?”

THESE ASSHOLES NEED TO SPEND LESS, making cuts across the board–otherwise the game is over. Aside from raising tax rates, the democrats want to eliminate write offs for mortgage interest and even tap into pension/IRA’s/401k plans.

Who exactly is going to be hurt by these stupid policies? Are the people building those fancy mansions all billionaires? Is the guy laying tile in that $3 million home down the block a fucking billionaire?

Believe what you want, but these tax hikes will be CATASTROPHIC for the markets and the overall economy. The Bush tax cuts should be permanent, period. We haven’t had a Federal tax cut in over 10 fucking years. We are a heavily taxed nation, in every facet of life. Yet, somehow, someway, the fucktards in DC have invoked class warfare tactics, not to “raise revenue,” but to punish success.

Thus far, the government have been horrendous stewards of American capital. Agree or disagree? If Congress was managing your money in the private sector, you’d fire them. With that in mind, why in the world should we “bail them out” by accepting higher taxes? They are conducting one giant fucking ponzi scheme, feeding into big government to support their power base. Now that they’ve hit a wall, unable to keep the ponzi scheme going without new “revenue”, we’re supposed to just sit here like fucking dogs and take it?

Message to Congress: fuck you.