I’M GONNA SQUEEZE THE SHORTS

I made money on Friday with EXTREME prejudice, even though the market was lower and you, friendo, were down. I made more than 1.4%, catapulting into your broken cities–like a giant jars filled with incendiaries, for the purposes to cremate its inhabitants.

Just because the market closed down on Friday doesn’t mean we are all subject to loss. There were plenty of winners to be had and the ground is set for a late August sprint higher.

I am tired of explaining why the market is hitting new highs and how nothing can stop it. Act like a small child and trust Father Fly knows more than you.

Very important subject at hand:

I will be going away on a ‘working’ vacation next week and will NOT be blogging on Monday. I might squeeze in a late night blog, but certainly not during market hours. As such, I’ve relegated the duties of “BLOG-MASTER” to The Option Addict.

Going into next week, my largest positions are IMMR, CXO, YELP,POWI and AMBA.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUTD86ocblc

There’s an old expression around these parts “Do you SHOMP?” Well…do you?

I’ve been in a constant state of war with the markets, since 2008. Prior to 2008, I was a market surfer, sans the stupid blonde hair and zinc’d nose. I utilized my vast network and worked like a dog, sifting through balance sheets and charts to find ideas. Post 2008, I started doing it with a click of my mouse.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about The PPT. Quite simply, it tells me when to add weight and when to reduce it.

Observe the overbought/oversold ranges.

If you are looking at that chart ^^^, you will find that we are now in an OVERSOLD state of affairs. We shall, mind you, trade higher and soon.

New all time highs are all the rage these days. There is nothing like trading from atop the summit.

The very bottom of the barrel trader scoffs at new highs, haters of the first degree. These men are not to be trusted, misfits who’d dine on the last dinosaur if they could. They are stuck in the 80’s, or worse, the 70’s. Jimmy Carter fans. They listen to KISS, god damn it.

“The Fly” is all about winship without kinship. Violence without peace. And war without surprise.

You see me coming but can do nothing about it.

Good day to you and yours. Tell your wife I said hello.

I discussed my voodoo practices with regard to CXO earlier today. As you can see, it has paid off handsome dividends, much to the chagrin of the 13 goats that I slaughtered with my own hands. After eating their hearts, I swore to the gods that I’d sell once it “rolled” past $100.

One of my favorite patterns ever is buying a stock just before it breaks $100. Nine out of ten times, in my experience, it runs straight to $105. In this case, I was a bit early, getting in at the crack of dawn at $88, because I’m an oil man.

Some of you might mistake me for a coal man; but it isn’t true. If you cut me you will find black fluids of petroleum running through my veins. I want nothing more than to see all Americans addicted to this stuff, blessed with fracking fluids in their tap water and having it wash up, organically, at the beach.

NOTE: CXO is my 2nd largest positiion.

Once again, the cretins who walk the halls of Seeking Alpha are out to destroy shareholder value.

Pray tell me, how did Seeking Alpha, the great website extraordinaire, become a bastion for the very worst people on the planet? 99% of their content is drivel, concocted by people who want to see a particular stock lower. They scheme and plot and issue ‘research reports’, disseminated across the internets, all so that the hedge fund who might have bought before the article was posted could get liquid and cover his shorts.

Do you really think these ‘authors’ are simple minded, self-directed, investors?

How many times have I pointed out their stubborn-headed wrongness? Remember when SBUX bought TEA for an all cash deal and those idiots were still screaming to sell it short, pointing to pesticides in the tea, attached with absurd lab reports? Or how about the hit pieces on YELP, at $15?

Just the other day, PAMT merged with Turtle Beach and some misfit from Seeking Alpha threw dirt at the merger, comparing Turtle Beach with SKUL, declaring the stock is significantly overvalued, yadda, yadda, yadda. As a result, the stock fell a staggering $4.

If there’s one thing Young Fly (my eldest son) is an expert on, it is video games. Aside from his exceptional IQ and being at the very top of his class, he loves to play the games. Turtle Beach doesn’t compete with the SKUL morons. They dominate the video game headset market, selling high quality electronics at premium prices. As far as I’m concerned, Turtle Beach did themselves a disservice by merging with PAMT, as they could’ve received a much bigger premium vis a vie IPO. However, perhaps they really liked PAMT’s audio technology and felt it would put them over the top.

Young Fly agrees with my assessment.

This much is certain: Turtle Beach did over $200 million in revenue last year, sold in over 27,000 storefronts across 40 countries, putting PAMT’s current price to sales ratio less than 0.5. This is the same ratio that SKUL sports. However, they aren’t targeting the same audiences. Moreover, with the new Xbox and Sony playstations scheduled to be released this winter, this is the perfect time for Turtle Beach to merge with a leader in audio innovation, a tailor made match of sorts.

Turtle Beach has the distribution channels and Parametric has the innovation. In my opinion, the stock is worth $30.

I bought shares of PAMT today.

You need to observe a certain timeline of events that just took place, live and in real time. If you still doubt the existence of the gods (old and new, never forget the old ones), let this serve as PROOF of your unparalleled ingnorance (sic).

The market was supposed to go up today. You saw what it did at 9:30, all of the bulls walking through the front door with purpose, even swagger. My stocks were higher and I felt like lighting a cigar. Then the bastard precious metal nerds came along and everyone left the party, leaving me here crying, frantically, because they’re all laughing at me.

On top of that, add OWW to the growing list of stocks that catapult higher after I sell. IMMR seems to trade lower on a daily basis. And, moreover and most importantly, I find myself in a state of stock market malaise, a Jimmy Carter phase of mediocrity–stunned by it, after doing so well for so long.

Consider the fact that CXO is my 2nd largest holding. Go look at the daily chart. There was much splendour and grandeur to be celebrated from 9:30-10 o’clock. Then everything changed. Also, consider the fact that IMMR is my largest position and it has just walked down 3 points, without interruption.

I feel a sudden curse pressed deeply onto my chest, like a bench press gone awry and there isn’t a spotter in sight.

The losses are piling up and the incense that has shrouded my presence for so long has been extinguished.

It’s been written; therefore, it shall be so.

You’ve been warned and I shall not be shy when it comes to lodging this axe into the back of your skull. You may trot down the boulevard like a man happily on bath salts. But just know this: deep in the crevasse of your city streets lies a man who doesn’t adhere to laws or reason. This man, insane as he might be, plots your extermination with mathematical precision.

This man, mind you, is The Bearded Clam.

I will be attending your funeral tomorrow.

I lied.

I added to my YELP position, averaging up, as incompetents sell it.

With the miss at FSLR and the sheer dismantling of SUNE, I declare the sector to be dead, forgotten in the sands of Wall St. Many sectors before it have flourished and burned. This is no different. One might try to game the sector through thrifty trades. However, the fundamental reasons to be long the sector are now dead.

On the other hand, oil is north of $100 for quite some time now. There isn’t a Brent premium to discuss, rendering US refineries utterly un-investable. But the domestic producers are in the sweet spot, which is why I am holding CXO into earnings, slated for this evening (heavy Dracula accent).

Everything else is burning to hell. I haven’t even dared to open my profit and loss thingy, in an effort to spare myself the pain and agony of seeing it with my eyes. I’d prefer to imagine what the losses might be, then fantasize over hedonistic upside recoveries.

I know it sounds odd, but bonds are probably a good bet here. Based off seasonality, TLT has only traded down one time since being a publicly traded vehicle. The month of August is, by far, the best time to own government bonds.

People are scared. The summer is ending and the winter is coming.

The last time The PPT registered such a low reading was on 6/24/13, when the SPY was at $157. Ever since then, the market ripped higher and never looked back. With over 75% of stocks lower for the day, very few of you are fortunate enough to be making money today. Naturally, Bill Ackman is down again in his HLF short, but that’s because he’s cursed and doomed for a decade of failure.

Everything I own is down and it chagrins me to give back what I earned. However, there is nothing worse than compounding one’s mistakes by selling at the bottom of the range.

We can trade lower and the market is designed to fool the idiot into surrendering his money. But the odds are in favor of the guy eating a hamburger, sloppily moping around the office, buying this dip.

I will not be putting money to work today. I don’t like catching knives and already caught a few with IMMR yesterday. I will be elated to see the market trade higher tomorrow and will buy more then, into strength.