BURRITO CLOWNS: CDC Issues Another Chipotle Warning

These bozos just came out with a statement, saying no new illnesses found and how they were using science to stop the poison, once and for all!

And then this comes out.

Per the CDC’s update:

Seven more ill people have been reported from California (1), Illinois (1), Maryland (1), Ohio (2), Pennsylvania (1), and Washington (1) since the last update. Two of these illnesses started in October, and five started in November 2015.

Illinois, Maryland, and Pennsylvania have been added to the list of states reporting illnesses, bringing the total to nine states.

Of the three most recent illnesses reported in November, only one ill person, whose illness started on November 10, reported eating at Chipotle Mexican Grill in the week before their illness began.

The investigation is still ongoing to determine what specific food is linked to illness.

Shares of CMG just fell off a cliff, down 14, but up 14 from the lows of the day.

Oh, wasn’t this is work related incident? Is it possible that these peaceful “living the American dream”, married couple with a 6 month old daughter could have links to the psychopathic head cutters in ISIS?

U.S. investigators are evaluating evidence that Malik, a Pakistani native who had been living in Saudi Arabia when she married Farook, had pledged allegiance to Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, two U.S. officials told Reuters. They said the finding, if confirmed, could be a “game changer” in the investigation.

CNN reported on Friday that one U.S. official said Malik had pledged allegiance to al-Baghdadi in a posting on Facebook made on Wednesday, the day of the attack, under an account that used a different name.

This is such a blow to the dick handlers in the media, who wanted to use this as an excuse to decry the 2nd amendment to be evil.

Naturally, two or more people conducting military styled raids on civilians is a fucking terrorist plot. The fact that the media couldn’t deduce this within 5 minutes speaks volumes about how stupid they truly are.

Listen

The new Philly Fed asshole just came out with emphatic remarks about how the Fed needs to hike rates now, else lose credibility.

The market is up 200; but market breadth is at a paltry and pathetic 62%. In other words, 38% of stocks are lower today, including many of my stocks, like PAH and SHAK.

There is no way, whatsoever, this rally holds with just 60% breadth. Moreover, being that oil is in the dumps and so many stocks are getting hammered into fucking pieces today, I don’t see any cause for joy right now. As a matter of fact, I’d be much happier if the market was down 200. At least then I could bitch and moan about stocks declining.

With this shit, I just look like a super asshole for having bad stocks in an up tape. We are in a very selective bull run.

Once again, I’ll be shocked if by 4pm this market is still up 200 points. I’ll even eat a piece of lumber if it were to occur.

After nearly ruining their brand and becoming the MCD of burritos, Chipotle is turning to science to safeguard their food supply. In my opinion, this is good news and if the company can market this the right way, their brand will be restored to its former glory.

The company, working with Seattle-based IEH Laboratories and Consulting Group, unveiled a new safety program that includes improving its supply chain and doing DNA testing of produce. Chipotle also is retooling its training to help employees handle food more carefully.

“While it is never possible to completely eliminate all risk, this program eliminates or mitigates risk to a level near zero, and will establish Chipotle as the industry leader in this area,” Mansour Samadpour, head of IEH Laboratories, said in the statement.

The stock has been one giant heaping pile of shit this year, alongside most restaurant stocks. Looking ahead, this is likely an excellent extry point for long term investors.

This is one heck of a knee slapper.

OPEC raised their production ceiling to 31.5 mill barrels from 30 mill, due to Indonesia reentering the cartel.

This is just plain retarded. These clowns are all in the same car and they’re all going off the cliff–no questions asked. The very basic human instinct, self-preservation, is devoid in these monstrous people. Like the gluttons in Haiti, who tore down the forests for short term gain in exchange for long term flooding, the member of OPEC will remember 2015 as the pivotal time when they fixed themselves a course for disaster.

Crude is below $40 now.

Due to the better than expected jobs report, futures reversed a 100 point gain and are now lower, thanks to a fuckhead Fed hell bent on plunging us into recession.

Nov unemployment at 5%. Expectations were for an add of 196k.

SPY futs up 10. The fucking Fed is definitely going HAM on us soon.

Enjoy any and all respites, for in 2016 we dine in hell.

Rich Brits are super assholes when it comes to paying for their clothes. Amongst the old guard aristocracy, they felt it was an affront to be asked to pay for their clothing, Churchill included.

Britain’s World War Two leader had racked up a bill of 197 pounds by 1937 – around 12,000 pounds ($18,000) at today’s prices – with Savile Row tailor Henry Poole and Co before he was finally asked to pay up.

He took offense, refused to settle the bill and never darkened Poole’s door again.

“Churchill said it was for morale, it was good for us [Henry Poole] to dress him and he wasn’t aware we were short of cash. He never did pay, and never came back – he never forgave us,” Sherwood added on Poole’s website.

Other assholes who didn’t feel like paying their tailor, included: Charles Dicken’s asshole son, King Edward VII, Bram Stoker, Prince Otto Von Bismark and of course America’s own JP Morgan, the original rusticate.

When company founder Henry Poole died, his high-profile clients owed him a huge amount and the firm was in a bad financial situation, the archives show.

The last surviving letter from Poole, written in 1875, said: “there will be nothing much to leave behind me. I have worked for a prince and for the public and must die a poor man.”

The next time I head on over to Brooks Brothers for a shirt, or pair of pants, I will simply walk out with the garments, scowling at the cashier and salesman the whole time for even thinking about me paying them for the pleasure.

Fuckery.

Old school iBC vid

They’re looking to raise another $2.1 bill, gingerly placing their alleged VC induced valuation at $62 billion, or higher than 80% of the companies in the S&P 500.

The following companies are worth less.

According to Newcomer’s reporting, Uber has increased actual U.S. gross revenue about 200 percent this year and is profitable in more than 80 cities around the world, and the number of U.S. trips completed this year has increased 250 percent compared with the same period last year.

Not bad. But what’s the p/s ratio, though?

According to hard to understand metrics, Uber should do around $11 billion in 2015 and $26 billion (really?) in 2016, making their $62 billion valuation reasonable (~6x sales) when compared to fellow unicorns who trade at 20-50x sales.

What’s Uber’s PE ratio? The fuck out of here, talking about profits and what not. This blog is over.

Martin Shkreli is a genius. Forget the fact that he livestreams himself playing World of Warcraft all day. This hoverboarding man just took a completely bankrupt company and raised $8 mill, in what’s sure to be a fucked up PIPE financing, priced at $29, and the stock soars because of it.

How is this possible?

Fucking magic, that’s how.

On this news, the stock is up 28%

KaloBios Pharma raises $8.2 mln in private placement through the sale of 280,170 shares of common stock
The co announced it has entered definitive agreements with institutional and accredited investors in connection with a private placement, or PIPE financing. Upon closing of the transaction, the Company will receive gross proceeds of approximately $8.2 million in exchange for the issuance to investors of 280,170 shares of common stock of the Company.

The Company intends to use the proceeds from the PIPE financing for an acquisition and to advance its pipeline of drug candidates, including its lead compound, lenzilumab for the treatment of myelomonocytic leukemia

Where will KBIO go from here?

Absolutely lower, that’s where. It may not happpen today or tomorrow; but rest assured, shady biotechs who get financing via PIPEs almost always trader lower.

Part of the reason why I promote Exodus, for obvious reasons, is because it’s a profit centre for the site. It’s the foundation of the site, permitting “The Fly” to cultivate a culture of abrasive winshippery throughout the internet landscape. But the primary reason why I push it on you is because it will 100% help you become a better trader. Whether it be our tightly knit community of traders in the ‘notes’ room or the predictive algorithms that have slewed 2015 at a 90% win rate, you need to pay attention to what we’re doing here.

Traders and managers of OPM alike all think they were bestowed upon the planet to be awesome traders. Nothing I can tell you will convince you that you’re a complete moron and have no idea, whatsoever, what’s going on in today’s market landscape.

Do yourselves a favor and try Exodus for a month. Ask for a demo. Ask questions. Make requests for features that you’d like to have added to the software and we’ll try to comply.

I see great tragedies hitting this market in 2016. You’ll all need all the help you can get.