Ben’s Helicopter RPG’d

The market is fading. That was gay.

Basically, the Fed just fucked the market, until its next meeting. They should be cutting rates now. Instead, Ben and his dumb friends opted to jawbone Wall Street with promises of lower rates, which got played out rather quickly.

So, barring a surprise rate cut, prepare yourselves for the “homo-hammer of certain death” to rain down on you, as equity prices get knee-capped by Fed inaction.

Top pick: [[DUG]]

It looks like the Fed is prepared to do some serious rate cutting.

In reality, everyone knows the Fed will cut rates. So, this is not breaking news. Nonetheless, I think people are content with hearing it come from the horses mouth, as opposed to just rumors.

Without a doubt, substantial rate cuts will help the economy, long term. However, short term, nothing changes.

I’m not buying the pop, nor am I shorting it.

I’m just eating snacks and shit.

I sold short 1,000 [[DECK]] @ $139.

Disclaimer: If you short DECK because of this post, your home will go to zero. And, you may lose money.

I know many of you oil whores will disagree with me. However, I drive a plutonium powered time machine, while you’re sitting there, in disbelief, eating low-end snacks.

If oil goes to $70, [[XOM]] loses.

If oil goes to $125, XOM loses.

There is not a scenario, in an election year, where XOM can win, in my unhumble opinion.

Plus, as the market continues to melt away like a cheap candle, big winners in the oil sector will become a source of funds, rather than a viable investment vehicle.

There are two ways to play it:

1. [[DUG]] to get short the major oil companies.

2. [[DCR]] to get short crude itself.

On the long side, I still like select Ag stocks, but will not buy them yet. Right now, the only sector I would buy are consumer staples, like [[CLX]], [[PG]], [[CL]] or [[K]].

Fuck China.

NOTE: In case you were wondering, yes, the market data (excluding quotes) on the left hand side is in real-time.

Tell me who else has that?

IBC bitches.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc9ZbS4KMdg&feature=related 450 300]

Granted, I sold some of my inverse ETF’s; but for the most part, I was lit aflame today—with big dicked losses in [[FXP]] and [[EEV]].

I got greedy, betting against a country (China) that knows nothing but green. So, at the end of the day, I am humbled.

All in all, today had terrific bottoming action. If you had the stones to buy when things looked bleakest, you banked some serious coin today.

Going into earnings, I am not optimistic about the market. However, should the Fed step in or some sovereign fund throw a few billion at a beleaguered financial, the “guns of revenge” will quickly turn and fire automatic rounds at the bears.

Then again, if your time horizon is more than 2 days, it still makes sense to reduce equity exposure.

Top pick on a bounce: [[RIMM]]

I bought 2,000 [[CMO]] @ $13.65.

Disclaimer: If you buy CMO because of this post, the writers strike will last for 30 years, effectively bankrupting all writers. And, you may lose money.

I bought 1,000 [[REW]] @ $ 64.55 and 1,000 [[TWM]] @ $83.50.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, Bernanke will cut by 200 basis points, at the next Fed meeting. And, you may lose money.

The action in the financials is very alarming.

Aside from [[CFC]], [[WM]], [[PMI]], [[ABK]], [[MBI]], [[SCA]], [[RDN]], [[MTG]], [[ETFC]], [[ACF]] and [[SOV]] all look like they’re heading to zero.

Is it possible?

Yes.

Apparently, the prospect of rising unemployment, coupled with the credit crunch, has investors running from anything related to financials.

Today, I covered some of my [[LEH]] short, but regret it already. Also, I sold my final 2,000 shares of [[SKF]], for a monster gain.

With the proceeds, I will, stubbornly, bet against [[CHL]], [[LFC]], [[PTR]], amongst other China names, via [[FXP]].

And, I have a very rich cash position. Hopefully, we can get a sustainable bounce, so that I may use it to sell short LEH higher.

God willing, of course.

NOTE: It looks like the news of [[DD]] going after [[MON]] got out.