“The Cramer Top”

No robster for you. So sorry.

As you know, immediately following the Bernanke rate cut, Cramer went on tv, exclaiming: “”the market will ramp (into the close of trading).” Furthermore, he declared: banks stocks, despite how expensive they are, were “screaming buys.”

Hence: “The Cramer Top”

After the cut, my chart guy (dumbass chart chomper) told me there was significant overhead resistance at 12,700. Aside from that, I decided to say “fuck it,” and bulk up on my shorts.

At the high of the day, I bulked up on my shorts, much to the bulls chagrin.

Finally, the fate of the world is entirely dependent on non-farm payrolls, due this Friday.

Bring your guns.

NOTE: Look for credit downgrades of [[MBI]] and [[ABK]], shortly.

UPDATE: Ackman’s letter to Moody’s, regarding the monolines.

Big reversal. The “Cramer Top” is in.

Get drunk;short stocks at will.

That is all.

I bought 5,000 [[SKF]] @ $96 and 2,000 [[SMN]] @ $43.

Disclaimer: If you buy SKF or SMN because of this post, immediately following “The Platinum Party,” you will get car jacked. And, you may lose money.

I hope it’s obvious to you by now. The Gov’t is trying its best to walk this fucker (market) up. 125 bps in one week is nuts.

Essentially, Bernanke is making monetary policy, while smoking blunts. Should the payrolls data be better than expected, the shorts will be southern fried stupid.

Just in case, make sure to have some high quality longs in your portfolio to offset your shorts.

With my money, I will probably buy a little stock towards the end of the day, providing the market doesn’t give up all of its gains.

Don’t get whipsawed by the initial reaction to the FOMC decision. There is no way of knowing which way the market will go, after Ben shaves his beard.

Many times, the market will shoot higher, then collapse—or vice versa.

The smartest thing to do is wait until 3:30 to place a trade, despite risking the initial move.

The obvious beneficiaries of a rate cut are the banks, retailers and homies. However, since they have run up so high, I’m afraid they will run out of steam, quickly.

Currently, I have a cash horde, which I will deploy once I am certain of the market direction. For now, my bias is to the downside.

On weakness, I will buy more [[SKF]], [[REW]] and [[SMN]]. And, sometime soon, I will double up my [[LEH]] short. That fuckers is nuts.

On the long side, I might buy [[RIMM]], [[AAPL]] or [[VMI]].

In short, I have no burning desire to do anything, due to economic weakness, coupled with market strength. It just doesn’t add up.

Sometimes the best trade is to do nothing.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utSnF8_NcYc 450 300]

FINAL UPDATE: The winner just emailed me and declined the prize. Also, he was a bit delusional.

First one to email me wins. There, it’s settled.

Let us not let the FOMC meeting overshadow iBC’s “Platinum Party.”

As you can see, the 40 ounces of Colt 45 are in the fridge and the spare handguns (just in case someone disrespects your hood) are near the Bernanke chia pet.

To celebrate iBankCoin’s 1 millionth page view, “The Fly” will be sending a “Monster” gift of choice to the lucky leech who is number 1 million. However, it’s worth noting, I can only see the location of the leech, and not the actual person. So, you may need to help confirm.

If you didn’t know by now, “The Fly” has “connections” at [[HANS]].

Finally, with regards to the market, GDP growth of 0.6% confirms the danger we are in. Soon enough, the economy will be printing negative GDP growth and banks will announce a fresh round of losses.

God willing, of course.

Developing…

NOTE: I am a spectator until the Fed decision.

Garbagio sectors are on fire, since hitting the lows in January. Now, if the U.S. economy is heading into recession, the banks, retailers and homies are triple sells. The only way the mentioned sectors go higher, or sustain current levels, is reliant upon unbelievably positive economic data, starting with non-farm payrolls on Friday.

While it’s true, the media is reporting the recent gains in dogged out sectors; they’re not elaborating how much they have run, since the lows.

The following is percentage gain data, in select financials, homies and retailers, since the lows of two weeks ago:

Financials

BAC +26%

JPM +26%

C +25%

WFC +34%

ACF +51%

COF +48%

WM +68%

MBI +137%

ABK +198%

AIG +15%

RDN +65%

WB +33%

MTG +72%

UBS +16%

GHL +24%

MS +16%

MER +21%

LEH +27%

ETFC +98%

BSC +34%

FIG +38%

BX +10%

LAZ +23%

IMB +126%

Homies

PHM +73%

RYL +52%

KBH +70%

TOL +45%

BZH +88%

VNO +17%

BXP +18%

DHI +72%

LEN +58%

CTX +52%

SPF +136%

HOV +94%

MTH +25%

WCI +259%

SPG +17%

EQR +23%

CBG +20%

SLG +18%

Retail

SHLD +23%

HD +25%

LOW +30%

M +29%

JWN +35%

COH +35%

RL +22%

BBY +14%

JCP +33%

KSS +19%

SKS +27%

HAR +22%

TIF +18%

GES +22%

UA +28%

AEO +35%

ARO +22%

CC +57%

BBBY +24%

Feel like diving in here?

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAG6_SzZSDg 450 300]