The Gods Have Blessed Me

Here we go again. The fuckers on CNBC are getting agitated by the market decline. My neighbors are in grave danger of losing vast sums of retirement savings. And, “The Fly” is on the verge of “double greatness.”

All of these things are natural occurrences of life, let alone the blogosphere.

Look you, I’ve got so many wins—Willie Randolph just called me and asked for one. As always, I told him to go fuck a horse, then proceeded to send someone to punch his mustache off.

Oil is melting higher, yet oil stocks are lower. The reason: source of funds.

Fund managers are blowing out of positions, regardless of fundamentals, like what happened in early January. Ultimately, as a result of the distribution, there will be great bargains.

Just know this: fuckers want out of this market in the worst way. They need to de-lever and will sell anything to raise cash.

The breakdown in the banks/brokers is telling. My “reverse four horsemen” are tanking, which includes: CORS, FED, DSL and FHN. Throw WM in there for good measure. A bonus, if you will.

On the brokerage side, I’m making professional athlete money in short MER and short LEH.

Within the ag space, POT, MON, MOS and all of the other absurd farm stocks are being pressed, then shot.

CHL and LFC are being deballed, leading to big dicked gains in FXP.

However, I must say, with everything going on, I am not content. That bitch of a whore, FTK, should not be down. It vexes me.

On the bright side, it is my birthday. As a result, “The Fly” will have an extraordinary day.

It has already been written.

Oil is for winners.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBMaw0rSpb4 450 300]

It’s about time someone took a fucking shovel to the head of the U.S. farmer. Those lazy fuckers have been living fat off the land, for  too long. As you know, historically, farmers are known to be poor. I say, let them be poor, yet again.

Godly ways to profit from this is to sell short the ag names, specifically POT, DE, CF, MON, MOS and AG.

Basically, “The Fly” is watching corn and shit. I’ve dispatched my voodoo physician to “bring hell and donuts” to the people who are long grain (donuts are for their arteries).

No need to beat the same drum over and over, but I will. I’m long VSE, AVR and BIOF.

FTK rebounded late in the day, as “non-fucktards” realized that Sidoti’s downgrade was erroneous.

Solar stocks met their maker today. I agree with RC: sell short FSLR, under $270.

All of the assholes on CNBC are crying “America’s Oil Crisis.” Let me tell you, this is nothing. Wait until fuckers find out there is no more oil, and that shit “super spikes” to $2,000 per barrel. Then what?

“The Death of America”?

All I know, being long PCZ, ARD, FTK, NOV, RIG, LEI, CLNE and PZE will make me loads of money, eventually.

Finally, I believe yesterday’s FXP closing price was erroneous. It gapped up $1 in the final minutes of trade. My guess, early this morning, the powers that be adjusted the price of FXP to reflect the value of its components. Long story short: CHL, LFC and PTR look like shit. I anticipate some upside in FXP, shortly.

NOTE: Moody’s disclosure that credit ratings were inaccurate due to some “coding error” is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. MCO is a short, no doubt.

If you’re long stocks, you will die.

More on this later.

What a yawner, aside from the bloodletting in FTK. CNBC is fixated on “America’s Oil Crisis,” yet oil is lower.

Irony.

Apparently, some 10th tier bucket shop, named Sidoti, downgraded FTK this morning. Keep in mind, these same asshats were bullish at much higher levels. They have no edge. My guess, they’re trying to bow out gracefully from the stock, being that they have no fucking idea what they’re talking about.

I’ll buy more, if it comes down to $18.

Many of the momentum names are recipients of lead homo hammers today, especially in the “Chinese Solar Burrito” space. That play is over and done with.

From a macro point of view, today’s tepid rally is a sign of uncertainty. My allocation is to be long energy and short everything else, except FNSR.

As you know, I loathe the financials and will buy more SKF, at lower levels—God willing.

The Chinese fuckery will end soon. Mark my words. The small stocks go first, then the big. As you know, FXP is a short play on the bigger names.

Finally, the ethanol sector is a good hedge versus oil, just like the refiners. If oil comes down, so will corn. Why that is so, only Mother Market knows. At the present, the bitch isn’t talking to me.

Top pick: VSE

NOTE: Fuck the trannies and the shippers.

I bought 2,000 LEI @ $5, 15,000 VSE @ $6.72, 5,000 FTK @ $20.10 and 2,000 PZE @ $14.05.

Disclaimer: If you buy any of the above stocks, birds will crap all over your car. And, you may lose money.

The near term fate of this market is completely dependent on the price of crude. If you’re like me, watching every tick, like some sort of box watcher, you know the market wants to go lower. Crude is just waiting for an excuse to spin higher, effectively leaving everything else crisp to a cinder.

At the same time, some energy related names are taking a breather. For me, that means FTK. Let me tell you something, right now, FTK is a fucking steal down at these levels. Should they give robust guidance, the stock will print $30 quicker than Dick Bove changes his opinion on bank stocks.

Elsewhere, I am big fan of SRS, short MER, short LEH and short FED. For some odd reason, FXP tortures “The Fly” with counter-intuitive moves. If FXP was a person, I would have punched its eyebrows off long ago.

I am bottom fishing some ethanol stocks here, specifically VSE, AVR and BIOF.

And, finally, I am a net seller of AUY. The quick move has already been made. The near term game plan is to raise cash, reevaluate the market, then get back in.

A pit stop, if you will.

NOTE: My degenerate OTB pick is LEI.

via Briefing:

Firearms are prohibited.

NOTE: The first 50 to arrive will get a complimentary “FIRE WILLIE NOW” T-shirt.