May I Interest You in a “Skinny Steve” Trade?

Let’s just put it on the table, shall we? Howard mentioned it earlier this week.

Is Steve Jobs, CEO of [[AAPL]], sick? We know he had pancreatic cancer, that he hid from shareholders for 9 months. God forbid, but if he is sick again, AAPL will take a severe hit.

After all, Steve is a fucking genius. Without him, Apple is just crapple.

In other news, I just got back from Dunkin’ Donuts. This one had a drivethru. It always amazes me to see the assholes line their cars up, 10-15 deep, in order to get a cup of coffee. At the same time, “The Fly” abruptly rushes into that God forbidden “coffee and donut shop of satan” and gets his large iced coffee, within 2 seconds. In others words, get out of your cars, you lazy fucks. Damn people are fat and lazy in NYC.

Regarding the market, I like AAPL here as a short, thanks to the “Skinny Steve” trade. And, I will add to my [[FXP]] and [[FTK]] positions.

Also, now it a perfect time to do some homework, trying to identify the next [[LEH]] or [[FED]]. You want to sell short these fuckers when they’re up, not spiraling down.

God willing, I will be able to buy [[SKF]], under $115. However, for some reason, I do not think God is that kind.

I bought 2,000 [[FXP]] @ $78.

Disclaimer: If you buy FXP because of this post, your biggest position will be featured in the infamous iBC fortune cookie. And, you may lose money.

Wow, the market just about erased yesterday’s losses, within 15 minutes of trading, thanks to nothing.

Come on people, retail sales were up 1%— only because of the government’s “stimulus” checks were spent by shopaholic fucktards, who enjoy to poleax their checking accounts. Why else would they name it “stimulus checks”?

Take the numbers with a large grain of salt.

What’s interesting to note is moderate strength in energy stocks, despite crude being busted out, down more than $3 here. Also, gold is getting a fortune cookie to the head, due to “King Dollar” rallying.

With the ridiculous [[LEH]] news hitting the tape, I would expect the bagholders, who signed up for stock at $28, to back out of the deal. Or, it will be reworked.

I have every intention of fading this rally with stupendous sales. However, I will be sure to check my emotions at the door, while trading. There is a remote possibility the market can sprint another 200 points from here.

With that in mind, I will look to add to my short positions into strength. I like short [[CHL]], above $70 and long [[FXP]] @ $78 or lower.

The raspy voiced moron, Erin Callan, just got a can of shit thrown at her aka she’s been “reassigned.”

In addition, the COO, Joseph Gregory fell on his plastic sword.

UPDATE:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20NMcX9UkIU 450 300]

This is Woodshedder, after a successful rsi2 trade.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cjv7hEAytU 450 300]

Where are all you bottom callers? Much to your chagrin, “The Fly” is near an all-time high, up about 40%, year to date.

See, you thought I’d lose, didn’t you? Admit it.

You were sitting there, in your bullshit pleather chair from Staples, thinking: “look at this market rip. That Fly guy is an asshole and will lose it all.”

Fast forward one month and I’m punching your head in, like Mike Tyson in a gay bar.

Today, I had egregious gains in [[FXP]], [[SRS]], [[REW]], short [[CHL]], short [[FED]], short [[LAZ]], short [[COWN]] and a variety of other “secret trades.”

Just know this: the market is my bitch. On occasion she runs away, until I back smack her, while exclaiming: “where the fuck is my money, ho”?

Top pick: FTK

How convenient.

Top picks: [[FTK]], short [[LAZ]]

Update: Mr. Mortgage May Foreclosure report

I bought 1,000 [[FTK]] @ $18.60.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 FTK @ $18.60

Disclaimer: If you buy FTK because of this post, you may never become Godly. And, you may lose money.

Some new shoe is about to drop. I’m not sure if its [[LEH]], [[MER]], [[MS]], [[GS]] or some other broken financial stock. One thing I am certain of is pending shoe droppage. Write it down.

With the markets scaling back down to 12,000, expect the bears to brazenly rip apart stocks, while exclaiming: “we must retest the lows.”

That’s just a catchy phrase. What they really mean: We’re fucked.

A confluence of negative events has reemerged, simultaneously. The FED, once again, are talking hawkish, fearing the grip of runaway inflation. The credit crunch is as bad as ever. The threat of another big broker folding tent looms. Oil and natural gas prices are soaring, as if the last drop of oil has been sold to some fucktard in Beijing. The Asian markets are shattered. And, we have goat crazed prices at the local grocery store, all thanks to a retard currency and “global growth.”

In my opinion, the charade that Lehman put on for Wall Street last quarter was the number one reason why the markets rallied. People thought “the worst was behind us.” We had old men, like Vince Farrell, go on CNBC and declare the “bottom.” Everyone was joyful, with coke on the desk and viagra in their pockets.

Until David Einhorn shook the banana tree at LEH, demanding clarity.

As a result, we got clarity and it isn’t pretty.

Again, in my opinion, LEH was not being exactly honest, with regards to their balance sheet. Because of this, the Armageddon trade is back on the front burner.

How does one play this?

Well, for one, you must have hedges. Personally, I have a great number of short positions, with energy stocks as my hedge.

Despite the inefficiencies of [[SRS]], which HollyWood pointed out, I like it here. If SRS doesn’t float your Chevy, sell short [[IYR]].

Also, there are a variety of banks on the west coast and mid-west worth shooting at. As you know, I am short [[FED]]. Other banks on my doom list include: [[FHN]], [[CORS]], [[DSL]], [[WM]], [[MTB]], [[LAZ]], [[COWN]], [[WTFC]], [[BBT]], [[SNV]], [[WL]], [[CATY]], just to name a few.

Over the next day or two, “The Fly” will pluck another fucked bank and make it a “Reverse Horseman,” if I may be so bold.

The Godly thing about iBC is that there are so many capable investors, who offer sage advice. Do yourself a favor, fuckface, start listening more and talk less.