“The Fly” Is Going Simple Jack to the Upside

At the time of this post, I am up nearly 3% for the day, thanks to some sagely stock picks (TRLA, BALT, YELP) and a little leverage.

It appears Senator Cruz will not filibuster the resolution to save the US economy from ‘the reddest hell ever.’ The net result from this retarded show of stupidity is a collapse of the republican party, split in two, with the newest branch being filled with Tea Partying gerrymanderers.

Congratulations for all of you who were disheveled with grief over our two party system. You now have a third wheel.

Barring a classic ‘sell the news’ event, I do believe we have cleared all obstacles and the market shall take the path of least resistance, which is higher.

I remain long and steadfast, while smoking my pipe filled with the remains of my archest of enemies.

I am trying to introduce a little levity into the internets of finance and you penis grabbers have ruined it by casting aspersions, defending the art of religion and discussing Nazi affairs.

Look here, friendo, if you’re unable to comport yourselves like gentlemen investors, you will be asked to leave the premises.

In the meantime, DJ Teddy Cruz is on the 1’s and 2’s today, dedicating this trendy tune to the American people.

I am leveraged 110% long, which is a light position for me, considering I’ve made it a priority to be 130% long most of the time. But you people are kidding yourselves if you think there will be a debt ceiling deal tonight.

Ted Cruz will filibuster it and sing Amazing Grace, alongside his little Mexican friends, as US markets plunge into the reddest hell ever.

Nevertheless, I am not selling. For the sake of sport and personal honour, I shall ride into the fires of hell with sword in hand, even though I am more an  “axe guy.”

“The Fly” welcomes the fire and isn’t concerned, whatsoever, that Chinese burrito accounting scams are ripping 30% per day. In no way does Le Fly believe this sort of perverted Chinese action portends a crash scenario to come.

Everyone gather around the bible and pray. Amen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0FIIFkDMJ8

As the Tea Party caucus in Congress sang “Amazing Grace“, mezzo-soprano, the debt ceiling was breached and the Unites States of America missed its first interest payment.

Back at the office de Fly, stocks were drowning like pigs in quicksand. Using his new powers of brute strength, “The Fly” punched a giant hole in his computer, ripped the tower from his stupid desk, and proceeded to smash it to the smallest of pieces, slowed down only by his knuckles breaking under the pressure of his thrusts.

Panic gripped Wall Street, 1929 style, with traders and investors alike sky-diving out from their office windows, sans parachute.

The news channels were very busy, very busy indeud. In the midst of all the fuss, Charles Gasparino, from the Fox Business news channel, was caught on camera masturbating to the carnage. James Cramer knocked out Bob Pisani on live teevee and David Faber broadcasted the news completely in the nude.

Dennis Kneale was killed by an errant rocking chair.

The internet was rampant with schadenfreude, spearheaded by the bitCoiners and Gold bugs. Zerohedge revealed his true identity in a live webcast in front of the NYSE, as it burned to the ground–lit aflame by angry TSLA shareholders crashing their trendy cars into the complex.

Back at the office de Fly, the masked man took to the streets to incite riot, burn people alive at the tip of his stick over flaming barrels of garbage, like marshmallows at a camp fire. The transition from gentleman investor to revolutionary cannibal was complete–all in a day.

The White House was eerily quiet, with The Obama clan, gingerly and quietly, enjoying a match of bowling, over large bowls of fried rice and chicken wings.

Rick Santelli was so happy over the ensuing tragedies, he cried on teevee, then died of a massive stroke.

By the end of the trading session, miraculously, stocks recovered all of its losses, following a surprise telecast from Benjamin Bernanke.

In a dimly lit room, sitting with his legs crossed in a Victorian era chair, whilst smoking a large philly blunt brimming with Jamaican marijuna, Dr. Bernanke said: “I got you bitches again. I bought that shit, motherfuckers, all of it.”

Poltergeist.

The Tea Party is being explicitly directed by Heritage Action for America, who in turn is being led by a 31 year old punk kid, Michael Needham, who has probably never invested a red cent in the stock market, let alone understand how important the US debt market is to the world.

I know it’s hard to believe; but they’re telling you straight to your face. If you disagree with Heritage, small republicans of the congress, they will primary your dumb ass with someone ‘extremely insane’ this November, which will bode well in new “gerrymandered” uber conservative districts.

In short, the perverts on Capitol Hill have been ‘gerrymandered’ by a certain Michael Needham, who is most likely playing Black Ops or HALO right now, drinking Pabst beers and eating Doritos out of a bag, whilst us suckers worry about the fate of the US debt markets.

UPDATE: Caine Thaler penned a masterpiece. Must read!

I will never vote republican again, at least under its present form. The rationale for the current disagreement hinges on a MEDICAL DEVICE TAX? Are you fucking kidding me? Pardon my language, but I couldn’t contain myself. This sort of barbaric thinking is the reason why this country is being led down the toilet bowl.

The best case scenario is we punt this until February, setting up for an early 2014 market rout. Worst case scenario, the god damned bible thumping republicans willingly destroy our credit worthiness. I do not want to hear about the 14th amendment or how we will not default, since we have enough cash to “cover interest and principle expenses.” The fact of the matter is, we do not have a budget. During this morning’s Citigroup conference call, they bragged about not owning short term treasuries.

THIS IS ABSURD.

If they hang the nation, I will be laughing as I swing–because I ain’t selling shit.

This is insane. Where is Muddy Waters? BORN up 80%. VISN is trading at $15, up from $2 just a few weeks ago!?!?

Which lotto play is next to go?

I get the sense YELP is going to smoke numbers this quarter. If you recall, I loaded up prior to last quarter’s numbers at $41, pared down some of the position to reduce exposure, locking in huge gains; but now it’s time to reload the proverbial boat again.

Indeud.

Over the past week, I’ve been a buyer of YELP’s shares and have completed my purchases today. Ultimately, YELP will be bought out or trade in the $100-200 price range. That has always been my opinion, even when the stock was $14. Go check the archives.

In short, I sold out of non-core names, SUNE and YY, and have added to a core position. I like to consider my non-core positions conduits that finance core position purchases.

At any rate, I’m still a little hesitant about the market, due to recent GOP developments. Hopefully, they opt for sanity over the way of the Palin.

In light of renewed republican stupidity, I sold out of SUNE and YY for 5% and 10% gains, respectively.

I am now fully invested, at just 100%.

David Tepper, hot shot hedge fund manager from the back of the Short Hills shopping mall in New Jersey, just made the case for higher stock prices, based upon a low interest rate environment. As we speak, congress is meeting to delay default until February. I am sure the Tea Party is strictly opposed to not defaulting, always opting for the ‘Santelli sanitization’ of ‘taking the band aid’ off now, as opposed to later.

I think the market is a straight shot higher, after we get past the debt ceiling issue. Naturally, there will be minor pullbacks and some stocks will underperform, based on bad earnings  and such. But, generally speaking, we should trade up.

All you have to do is not screw up. Diversify your holdings. Do not overweight in low brow gambling stocks and try to look at the bigger picture. I am talking macro, not micro. Where is the money going and why?

Going into the final months of the year, the consumer will be in focus. There is real opportunity for gains in retail, being that they’ve underperformed for so long. Also, heading into Thanksgiving, WFM and FWM look interesting. The point is, focus on a thesis and not just ticker symbols, like some sort of vagrant jackass whore.