iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,599 Blog Posts

Chopped Up and Spit Out

In this blog, I’ll attempt to make a number of excuses for today’s poor trading performance.

I was awoken last night to a sick dog, my coyote, who decided to vomit on my rugs. I then had to take her for a walk at 2am. It was my responsibility because Mrs. Fly is already in nightwear and it’s ok for me to appear outside in robe and slippers because my odious visage cannot scare the neighbors anymore than it already does.

I was then entreated to a 6am dog walk and finally 9:30am — right at the market open. By this time I was fortunate to enjoy the company of Mrs. Fly who was properly showered and made up, perfumed, and very well rested.

When I got back I was informed my youngest son wasn’t feeling well and asked, or rather informed, that Grandmother Fly would like her morning coffee. I chose the slow pour over method for maximum flavour.

Mid afternoon following a watering of my garden, I was then informed that the vomitted rug had not been properly cleaned and asked if I might see to it. Mrs. Fly doesn’t really like to lift heavy things or get her hands dirty, especially since she just got her nails done. Already down for the session, I agreed and lugged the steamer upstairs to clean it. On my way up, she reminded me that “last time you didn’t clean the steamer of the dirty water.” I just called her a “liar” and went about my business.

This is unusual behavior for me now. In my younger years I would’ve thrown a fit over most of these happenings. But as life drags on and you get tired of conflict, you learn to internalize most disagreements because what exactly will I achieve by informing another person who will never change that “I AM OF COURSE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD NEVER ATTEMPT TO INFORM ME OTHERWISE.”

So see I was distracted and that’s why I lost 110bps for the session. Perhaps tomorrow I will be free to look at the market without having to worry about dog shit/vomit and instead of eating a morsel of crackers and dry tuna — I might enjoy a proper meal — a meal perhaps designed for a space alien magician (SAM) who reigns imperial in the stocked market and who bowls on his foes who attempt to derail him in between running inane chores about the house.

No, but seriously, marriage is fantastic. I highly recommend it.

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9 comments

  1. zusch

    Get a maid bro you lost 11k

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  2. flea

    Wow. She doesn’t deal with the pets, gets up at 9:30, doesn’t make coffee, doesn’t work, goes on European vacations, doesn’t steam clean a carpet … maybe you’re internalizing just a bit too much?

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    • metalleg

      No disrespect to Jewish women. I am quite familiar with Jewish women. Some of those traits are common in Jewish women.

      😉

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  3. dchanko

    Captain Hindsight
    Marriage should come as a contract that expires after 10 years , with option to renew and renegotiate

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    • metalleg

      What about children? How’s THAT supposed to work in your world?

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  4. 2 wheels

    I do know a lot of guys that somehow get away with doing very little to help around the house. I’m not sure how they arrange that but I’m sure it’s not really working out the best in other areas. The wives seem really pissed off all the time. I am similar to you Fly – I’m not lazy and realized most times it’s easier to just get it done and move on.

    Sometimes while driving around town, I’ll see a woman mowing her lawn or weed whacking or some shit like that, and will say to my wife hey look at her! My wife is impressed but has no desire to partake in such activities

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  5. Mr. Cain Thaler
    Mr. Cain Thaler

    Morning coffee?

    That took place after 11 o’clock.

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