The Stocklabs Free-Loading Trials Are Closed

Stop emailing me, at once. I will never feel sorry for your sloth, the inability to email me in time to gain access to the world’s best stock market data platform and Gentleman’s trading room. I’ve been tasked, due to various degrees of inefficiencies which are entirely my fault, to create each trial with my bare hands. I am tired of offering gratuities to grifters and mountebanks — plebs who’ve read me since 2007 — but never even bothered to purchase a poorly made mug from me.

For the next two weeks while I’m away, I intend to annoy Mrs. Fly via trading from my phone. I realize Europe’s timezones are retarded and not in sync with US markets — but I will attempt to do something whilst cavorting on one highly overpriced tour after the next. I will do the weekly quant on Monday — but FORGO IT next week — as I am sure my travels will interfere with proper management of my positions. I will, however, take pot shots at the market when possible and blog in the evenings in order to maintain my very lofty royalties paid to me by my son of a bitch advertisers who festoon my website with their complete crap.