iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,427 Blog Posts

NEW TWITTER IS LIT AS FUCK

FULL DISCLOSURE: The previous cunts at Twitter would never verify iBankCoin or my twitter handle, in spite of numerous fakes who attempt to dupe people with sordid scams. Whilst iBankCoin might not be a reputable as say CNN, we are what’s deemed to be “A Reliable Source” as per a United States court of law. Being the most prolific financial blogger alive, you’d think the previous cunts would offer me a little small blue check mark, in order to help me feeeeeel better about myself — but no — CUNTS WILL BE CUNTS.

But with the new Twitter, run by Elon Tesla, I was able to purchase my little blue checked mark for iBankCoin. I didn’t do it for myself — because that would be retarded and also FUCK TWITTER. Nevertheless, the point remains, we are now a respectable outfit. Show some God damned respect around here.

Albeit, and truthfully, I feel like a 19th century salesmen who just jimmied his way into high society buying balcony seats at the opera house — plying people with large diamonds and telling exaggerated stories about how my lower middled class family actually were decedents of Kings or even Warlocks — depending on my audience. Nevertheless, and my point being, the new Twitter is far more my speed — more of a Wild West shoot ’em all dead before finding out it was just a caravan of priests after the fact.

A new source of entertainment has emerged in the form of trolls taking out fake accounts, verifying them, and then tweeting some shit to humiliate corporations or persons of power. Here is a few I grabbed and I get the feeling Mr. Mars is going to somehow put an end to this chicanery soon, so enjoy it while it lasts. Twitter blue has been placed on pause and is supposed to come back next week.

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One comment

  1. Cricket

    LOL. When blue checka Bush tweets like this we know the end of the world is nigh.

    A disaster of Biblical proportions is coming. Real OT Wrath-of-God type stuff. Fire and brimstone. Fourty years of darkness. Earthquakes. Volcanoes. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria.

    Thank you Elon, you never disappoint. Great post.

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