iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,270 Blog Posts

Back From a Long Day of Toil

After I sold my stocks this morning, I went to build a 5 tier garage storage rack in a flaccid attempt to store some of the fucking boxes in my fucking garage. I toiled through 110 degree heat and then stacked the boxes onto the newly built storage rack and there’s barely any difference. Out of all of the things to do in the world, this is the very worst thing I could be doing.  Bearing witness to a lifetime of waste in boxes, all bought by members of my family and none by me, leaves with me a distinct feeling of emptiness. Time wasted and money spent.

Next up, I will buy another 5 tier garage storage rack and toss another 1,000 lbs of boxes onto it so that maybe just maybe I could move around freely in the GAY-RAAAAGE, gallivanting through all of the bicycles and helmets and toys and baby clothes and collectibles and DVDs and VHS tapes and a plethora of pillows and ARTS N CRAFTS and perhaps glance over at some fucking tools and some gardening chemicals and maybe eyeball a FUCKING INDUSTRIAL SIZED paper shredder and sleds and Xmas decorations and Halloween decorations and Thanksgiving decorations and random chairs, tables, bookshelves and EXTRA washer and dryer and all of the other lovely things I surround myself with, as I live out a lavished world of comfort and charm.

As it pertains to the stock exchange, I made 2% with 60% cash, 10% hedged — long 6 stocks of the indecorous nature.

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7 comments

  1. indexjoe

    Purgatory

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  2. purdy

    …and while half the world sweats and starves, you’ll provide air conditioning to those boxes so that they rest comfortably and don’t mildew.

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  3. roguewave

    A word of extreme CAUTION: you know, when you are cleaning up the tools after a long days work that should never be done at all (with some rags and denatured alcohol).
    When you store the gallons of denatured alcohol, near the boxes (btw, thank you for saving the environment! – corn based alcohol is eco friendly, made by evil farmers)
    Be careful with the greazy rags, soaked in food consuming, corn-derived alcohol. You know, spontaneous combustion and shit. Also, do not under any circumstances allow one or more gallon cans of alcohol to be accidentally knocked over, spilling their contents under the new rack. And most of all, if lightning strikes (it could happen) or spontaneous combustion occurs. Do not try to go in there and save the stuff. Save yourself. Don’t put your family through ID’ing a less than perfect corpse.

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  4. john galt

    Chuck that shit in the garbage, if you haven’t used it in 1 year it’s gone. Next is important, now don’t go buy new shit to take its place.

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  5. roguewave

    Without a doubt, Ukraine will defeat Russia and Taiwan will defeat China; but only in Taiwan joins NATO. All the oceans are connected afterall.

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  6. duuude

    Goodwill

    EOM

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