iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,503 Blog Posts

CRISIS STRIKES HOUSE FLY AGAIN — DYING OF THIRST EDITION

I was having a comfortable day, +6% in Quant, +5% in Best Ideas, +1.2% in trading when the handyman I hired to replace a cartridge in my shower water handle announced “I CANNOT DO IT” and then showed me how stupid and incompetent he was — unable to access a stripped socket — but fully able to complete crack and break the cartridge so that the water is on full blast, forcing me to shut off the main.

Now I sit here, thirstier than ever, looking at the water tap wanting a tall glass of warm tapped water, hard water from the local reservoir — man-made Jordan Lake. All this happens while markets dumped out towards the end of the session, forcing me to keep buying TZA without really seeing or knowing what the fuck was going on.

Since this area is growing so fast, finding a plumber the same day is all but impossible. As a matter of fact, all are booked until next week, until I chanced upon a Russian lad with plenty of time and he’s en route now with a fucking saw right now willing and able to provide House Fly with the water necessary to live.

Sadly and regrettably, I offer no market advice in this blog, as I am too thirsty to do so. I will say, however, this market is a son of a bitch and do not believe for a second we’re off to the races filled with happy thoughts and wonderful feelings of fulfillment. We are likely to sink lower again tomorrow in the same fashion we rose today, painting a dreadfully black and bleak outlook. But again, I offer no financial advice, as I am too parched to do so.

Siiiiiiiiiipppp.

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12 comments

  1. duuude

    Is the Mother in Law there along with the MIL curse ?

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  2. irma vep

    Dry sucks.

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  3. tradercaddy

    I assume the shower cartridge needed to be changed because the shower head was dripping (the most common reason). I just changed mine a couple of months ago.
    I asked my handyman to look at it when he was here putting up new smoke detectors for me. It took him about 15 minutes and he didn’t even charge me. I had the cartridge already as I was going to do it myself (Home Depot has a video on how to change it).
    Like duuude above said, if the Mother In Law is still there ask her to do it.

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  4. traderconfessions

    I just got charged $589 to replace a 30 buck refrigerator compressor capacitor because I live in the most expensive place on Earth. Of course the fridge still doesn’t cool properly and he has to return. After persuasion I got him to reduce the charge $389 which still is ass rape under NYS penal code. Fuck everybody.

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    • emersonlakepalmer
      emersonlakepalmer

      Have you learned a lesson? We are a throw away Society. Television breaks, replace it. Computer has issues, replace. Fridge doesn’t cool, replace. Need catalytic converter for Volvo, fuck that get a new car. Backpack leaf blower having issues, get a new one. Lithium battery lawnmower doesn’t hold charge after two seasons, go back to 5hp combustion mower.

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  5. roguewave

    Just watched Pearl Harbor. Very sad, especially when you realize fdr and others conspired to get us in knowing well in advance it was coming. In fact having set the table for political reasons. Many brave and innocent died.

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  6. bob smith

    They say that, in a pinch, you can drink your toilet water. So there’s that…

    Oh wait! You already doing that…

    Never mind.

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  7. tha pirate

    How many out there are spending a FORTUNE for the ‘privilege’ of sending their kid to an overpriced University or College where far left ‘professors’ who can’t hold REAL jobs lecture their kids on tranvestite lesbian gender studies while the kid learns beer pong?

    Meanwhile how many SMART parents are sending their kids to learn a real trade – plumbing, electric etc and will wind up with more money, less debt and more contribution to society?

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    • metalleg

      I agree with you to a point but all 3 of my kids went to big colleges, 2 Big 10, 1 SEC, they all had a great time (emphasis great), and are all employed with good paying jobs with perhaps more financial upside than a trade might offer them. Not to be sexist but no way either of my two daughters could handle a trade job and all of my kids are critical thinkers who see the left ideology as retarded as you and I know it is.

      I think my situation is not the norm so I do agree with you that for many, going to college is a stupid move.

      From a pure financial POV, college doesn’t make sense for many. For me, I’ll let you know in a few years whether there’s been a positive ROI on my “investment.”

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    • traderconfessions

      So you’re saying the dope who almost fixed my fridge contributes more to society .. as if one can measure this…than a teacher or scientist or doctor? Hmmm. I try to fix most things myself after watching youtube videos. Sometimes I even succeed which is a 1000x more satisfying than a profitable trade. Other times I get yelled at by my wife for breaking things further. Water off my back. Also, beer pong is rarely taught in trade schools to the best of my knowledge.

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    • roguewave

      some smart parents are introducing their kids to crypto
      @Cooopahtroopa
      May 9
      Paid off my parents mortgage for Mother’s Day.

      Paid off my student loans.

      Five years in crypto and it’s starting to come together – all thanks to ETH ?

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