I tried everything today, from buying it all to selling it all to buying it all back. I conducted myself like a first rate vagrant in the market place today. People like me should be stopped by the govt for “gamifying”stock trading. I could not find the momo no matter how hard I tried. I bought dozens of stocks, threw shit up against the wall and nothing stuck. I was up 100bps and then down 100bps and then I applied the most margin I had in years, just in order to increase the alpha so I could go green.
But the Gods denied me of this favor. Those bastard son of a bitches! I did everything right — followed all the rules, and still — I closed out the week DOWN 177bps. My Quant was +199bps and did zero trades and my YOLO was +520bps today on two trades, TQQQ and ERX.
I am pleased, however, with the level of laughter I have been enjoying. I cannot buy a new Tesla with said laughter; but it might alleviate the pangs of my suffering when I reminisce in the future.
It was a ticker symbol designed for the Pelican Room: “sex with LEXX, why don’t you?” Sure, makes sense to buy it since I could in fact have digital sex with it and increase my fortune. Only this time there was a victim in the Pelican Room. His name was Bubba and he proffered to FORNICATE rapidly and quick he did, as the stock immediately CASCADED lower amidst an ocean wall of sellers. The stock halted for MAXIMUM DOWNSIDE fuckery inside of 1 min of Bubba buying — likely an acute punishment afflicted on him by the Gods for his bloodline cavorting in the SLAVE TRADE many centuries ago. As it so happened, we never found out how or why the stock collapsed like that and I later on went on to lose 10% in my own gambits to have “sex with LEXX”. As fate would have it, she sprung higher by 20% at the highs today and none of us, sadly, were able to provoke fornication.
Good weekend.If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter