iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,077 Blog Posts

DISPATCHED, CHARGED, RUINED

I tried everything today, from buying it all to selling it all to buying it all back. I conducted myself like a first rate vagrant in the market place today. People like me should be stopped by the govt for “gamifying”stock trading. I could not find the momo no matter how hard I tried. I bought dozens of stocks, threw shit up against the wall and nothing stuck. I was up 100bps and then down 100bps and then I applied the most margin I had in years, just in order to increase the alpha so I could go green.

But the Gods denied me of this favor. Those bastard son of a bitches! I did everything right — followed all the rules, and still — I closed out the week DOWN 177bps. My Quant was +199bps and did zero trades and my YOLO was +520bps today on two trades, TQQQ and ERX.

I am pleased, however, with the level of laughter I have been enjoying. I cannot buy a new Tesla with said laughter; but it might alleviate the pangs of my suffering when I reminisce in the future.

ENTER LEXX

It was a ticker symbol designed for the Pelican Room: “sex with LEXX, why don’t you?” Sure, makes sense to buy it since I could in fact have digital sex with it and increase my fortune. Only this time there was a victim in the Pelican Room. His name was Bubba and he proffered to FORNICATE rapidly and quick he did, as the stock immediately CASCADED lower amidst an ocean wall of sellers. The stock halted for MAXIMUM DOWNSIDE fuckery inside of 1 min of Bubba buying — likely an acute punishment afflicted on him by the Gods for his bloodline cavorting in the SLAVE TRADE many centuries ago. As it so happened, we never found out how or why the stock collapsed like that and I later on went on to lose 10% in my own gambits to have “sex with LEXX”. As fate would have it, she sprung higher by 20% at the highs today and none of us, sadly, were able to provoke fornication.

Good weekend.

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8 comments

  1. it is showtime
    it is showtime

    Hi inner wall st CB circle

    4239.

    I just named a number
    you cant get the S&P
    to hit. Can’t even touch.
    have a good day

    Inter. Stellar. Gambit.
    BOOSTED – – AARGH – – LINE

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    • moneybagz

      Every time i find myself a little bearish, you come wash away my sins, thank you showtime. Thank you.

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      • it is showtime
        it is showtime

        by the numbers

        S&P500PE 44.97
        above the forty three in dotcom recession
        mean about 16 median about 15
        S&P500P-S 3.11
        mean 1.6 median 1.5
        S&P500CAPE 37.84
        mean about 17 median about 16

        you think igaf who’s bullish or bearish
        you’re on the decimation trajectory
        I hoped and predicted for 10 years ago

        likely being prepped for this summer.

        (your comment will kind of look stupid)
        (when that happens)
        (you will kind of look) (really stupid) (post turn)

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        • metalleg

          I love when you talk dirty

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        • emersonlakepalmer
          emersonlakepalmer

          Good lord – crawl back in your cave.

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          • it is showtime
            it is showtime

            When the most lowly of denizens calls for the intelligentsia to leave the tavern. you know who won.

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          • emersonlakepalmer
            emersonlakepalmer

            What have you won? You’ve missed out on a spectacular 13 year bull run in equities.

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  2. tjnyt

    “Gog Is Great” pay heed!
    I was up 5% today after last 4 days of drubbing and despite holding crap like $FSLY,$PTON,$UBER, $RKT, $TWTR and $DDOG; on strength in $BA,$AAPL, $LABU and $VIAC. I am sharpening my shorting tools, $PY poots, $FAZ, $DRIP,$LABD etc.

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