18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,868 Blog Posts


Off to join my local country club, on a day that I preside over magnificent losses. I ebbed into the markets once again this afternoon, met with two strong trades, and now it’s all gone south again — hammered to the face by 500bps.

Over in my super cool and awesome YOLO account, an account which I was boasting over 15% daily returns last week, I am in fact ass-kicked to the tune of 630bps, a marked improvement over the 850bps drawdown at today’s lows. I am keeping a very high cash position, upwards of 75% — because today is in ruins and there is not much that I can do other than wade into the markets slowly and methodically. If I dive in there like a younger man, I might not make it out alive. It’s best to see you people head out into the waters first, test the deep for some sharks, before I follow in.

I am hereby cutting today short. Our COCKLABS PROJECT is almost done. It has only taken us 15 years to develop and I am certain you will enjoy it for the 5 months you’re a member, just before blowing out your stupid little accounts in a Reddit gambit.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter


  1. emersonlakepalmer

    In the accurate words of iBankCoin cockhead Mr Richard Weiner: “How can we gauge our own success? By the length of our penis”

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. Raul3

    Cocklabs babay!

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"