iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,868 Blog Posts

DOOM HAS CASTED ITS SHADOW ON HOUSE FLY TODAY

Off to join my local country club, on a day that I preside over magnificent losses. I ebbed into the markets once again this afternoon, met with two strong trades, and now it’s all gone south again — hammered to the face by 500bps.

Over in my super cool and awesome YOLO account, an account which I was boasting over 15% daily returns last week, I am in fact ass-kicked to the tune of 630bps, a marked improvement over the 850bps drawdown at today’s lows. I am keeping a very high cash position, upwards of 75% — because today is in ruins and there is not much that I can do other than wade into the markets slowly and methodically. If I dive in there like a younger man, I might not make it out alive. It’s best to see you people head out into the waters first, test the deep for some sharks, before I follow in.

I am hereby cutting today short. Our COCKLABS PROJECT is almost done. It has only taken us 15 years to develop and I am certain you will enjoy it for the 5 months you’re a member, just before blowing out your stupid little accounts in a Reddit gambit.

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4 comments

  1. emersonlakepalmer

    In the accurate words of iBankCoin cockhead Mr Richard Weiner: “How can we gauge our own success? By the length of our penis”

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  2. Raul3

    Cocklabs babay!

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