iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,629 Blog Posts

THINGS ARE STARTING TO CULTIVATE

I stepped into today a supreme winner. As you read upon this blog entry, the 20,591st blog entry in the history of iBankCoin — let me remind you that I am, in fact, the most prolific finance blogger in America. In addition to that, I am, in fact, the only person in the world with a time machine — from which my trades are all derived — free from the deleterious scrutiny of the very evil SEC.

I was 80% cash at the open — but I had a massive runner in SPI — a 2x cock-sized position and I sold it for an 11% gain. Since then, seeing the markets run like freed slaves, I’ve been partaking in wanton acts of chicanery — trading this or that, gains here, gains there. Literally, nothing can stop me.

For the day, thus far, I am up an astounding 300bps.

How did I do it?

Time machine.

That’s all there is to it folks. Hop in the machine, travel to the future. Come back and trade.

Today’s day trades

PHUN +11.5%
GEVO +4.7%
UAMY +14%
GRWG +3.4%
VISL +6.2%

Presently, I have a few “irons in the fire” if I might be so bold. Life as I know it is grande, superfluous, and charmed.

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5 comments

  1. tradercaddy

    “I was 80% cash at the open — but I had a massive runner in SPI — a 2x cock-sized position and I sold it for an 11% gain. Since then, seeing the markets run like freed slaves, I’ve been partaking in wanton acts of chicanery — trading this or that, gains here, gains there. Literally, nothing can stop me.”
    Gotta nice chuckle for some reason out of this paragraph.
    One of the better ones since the “CNBC fondling cats” controversy.

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  2. Dave Portnoy

    Fly had to make couple bucks, he stopped peddling coffee mugs.

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  3. charliehorse

    Just do the following and rebalance every quarter, for the next 10 years. You’re welcome.

    60% VT
    8% ARKK
    8% ARKG
    8% ICLN
    8% ESPO
    8% MJ

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