iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,431 Blog Posts

US FUTURES LIMIT DOWN; TRUMP BANS ALL TRAVEL FROM EUROPE

It’s over again folks. Small cap futures are lower by a fucking outrageous 6%. Dow futures are limit down 1,100 points and the DAX slobs are looking into the hourglass — FUCKED BY 6.5%.

Civil society has officially ended tonight. Trump enacted a harsh new travel ban from Europe; your summer vacays are inexorably canceled, henceforth. We’re completely in the dark sea now without a paddle. The NBA season CANCELLED. Poor Dave Portnoy sold his Barstools pice of shit sports site for PENN stock, and it’s barreling towards ZERO — as American sports are now a thing of the past. Tom Hanks is almost dead, officially diagnosed with CORONAVIRUS. And reports are that John Travolta is in the hospital too, fucked from the Wuhan Batsoup Flu.

Yours truly began prepping tonight, as we swim quickly towards end of days. I fought for the last roll of toilet paper and won, as well as ample supplies of papered towels and other coronavirus curing dry goods. This is it folks, the end.

After hours, Wynn, Hilton and Boeing all tapped their lines of credit — maxing out their credit cards — but it won’t be enough. All of these companies are leveraged to the hilt, puffed up with employees and overhead, and now have ZERO business. Think about it, a true doomsday scenario if I’ve ever seen one.

The singular thing that worries me now are markets shutting down completely in order to preserve the system. We cannot paper over this, so the next logical step for our manipulators in chief is to stick a pin in everything and HALT TRADING until the virus passes.

The Black Flag flies on iBC tonight, somberly. I will accept my wins tomorrow, long FAZ, NNVC and some tankers, but mourn the passing of this once great globalized world.

RIP.

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13 comments

  1. edge

    Trumpturds should be killed and eaten.

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  2. roguewave

    Crypto markets will be bumping along 24/7, 365 days, 6 hrs., 9 mins. and 6-something odd seconds each year.

    If markets close, potentially quite bullish for cryptos. The whole crypto market is only $223 billion. Gold is 7 – 8 trillion for perspective.

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    • roguewave

      correction – 365 d 6 h 9 min 9.76 s

      ps after a few packages arrive I will be as prepared for the virus as much as I can be: vit C, B3, andrographis,… as linked the other day. Best of luck! Now for some sleep.

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    • numbersgame

      Millenials run up the price of cryptos, but they were leveraged long on stocks, and are facing margin calls.

      Cryptos (the currency, not the technology) have yet to prove their long-term value

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      • flea

        Actually, that might explain the overnight sell-off. Once we’re rid of them it’s off to the races. Maybe.

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  3. edge

    Markets worldwide are fucked up over Trump’s shitshow. I hate him.

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  4. i_am_nemo

    Love the sarcasm about our beloved celebrities. The fact remains that herd mentality is in effect. Do you see any measure keeping the markets at this level a month from now? How many zeroes added to the FED balance sheet have to be conjured up to keep the market afloat? Buffet has to be salivating, except for his airline positions; unless he has already liquidated them.

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  5. awanka

    May you live in interesting times.

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