iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,428 Blog Posts

Spiraling into a Wanton World of Swashbuckling

I’m in a constant state of annoyance. My responsibilities have grown exponentially over the years and it vexes me. I recall about a decade ago, sunning in my yard, drinking a nice beverage, thinking to myself “I live a charmed life.” I thought it would last forever, and it did for a long time. My face didn’t age and my demeanor was care free and without fear of risk. Then around the time I turned 40, things started to blacken for me — not in a financial sense but in a life sense. Hard to explain without delving into personal details that have no place on the fucking internets. Let’s just say my life isn’t as easy as it once was and I am often harangued by trivial problems that are amplified by the volume of said trivialities.

I am going to the Benz dealership tomorrow morning for yet another repair.

This Saturday I depart for Princeton and then Bronx for family related issues, none of which are pleasant but in fact quite somber and downright rotten. My trading hasn’t suffered up until today, thanks to a sojourn into a ridiculous amount of risk that was traded poorly because I had been away from the desk all day yesterday, tending to issues at home — related to my departure on Saturday.

If I could paint a perfect world for me it would be without conflict, spending afternoons at Museums or others places of intellectual interest or nature. I enjoy morning activities and doing things that are meaningful. When I waste time I feel guilty and I lament the lifestyle of a wastrel more than anything else. Productivity and discipline brings me happiness. In order to be care free, things must go well for me, both professionally and personally. My problems likely pale in comparison to many of yours, but we all live in our little micro-worlds and each is equally important.

To fix my problems I need Exodus 2.0 to be finished, which is taking wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy longer than expected — currently in its 10th month of production. I need to feel better physically, which I am addressing at the gym and diet. And lastly, perhaps the most difficult to solve, is possessing a feeling of contentment. I just don’t feel the same way I used to and I want it back.

As for the trading account, I booked the following trades today.

ALT – wash
(APT -14.5%)
KMDA +1.5%
WATT +7.7%

I also doubled down on LAKE, NNVC, and NVAX.

(Tips hat)

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5 comments

  1. heckler

    Good luck old sport. And if that fails you can always go on anti depression meds and cbd to take the edge off. I too often suffer the life of a malcontent. I think for some of us (if not most) it just has to be that way. Given the backdrop of the world we presently find ourselves in… What it is they say..? The most brilliant must also deal with a searching and aching heart. Or some shit…

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    • MSGT HARTMAN

      The backdrop:
      New highs in the market, minting barrel fulls of cash.
      The United States, no longer the worlds doormat.
      Killing off radical Islamists and Iranians, sending them to Valhalla.

      But we know it’s really good out there when Americans moan and complain about 1st world problems.

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  2. whaler31

    Like a fine wine, anyone who has followed this blog over the years knows that the writings of the Fly just keep getting better with time.

    Mr. Fly, I would propose that your transcendence through cognitive dissonance–coupled with extremely ridiculous high expectations of those around you (which in your mind are then projected against the rest of humanity) might be the reason for your perpetual melancholy and your bitter disappointment with society as a whole.

    Then again, what the hell do I know?

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