iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,083 Blog Posts

PANDEMIC ALERT: How to Profit From the Coming Apocalypse

BIG NEWS out there folks. We have a new and novel ***AIR BORN*** virus to fear. It’s named after a happy hour beer: The Corona Virus, and it kills you.

The good news is it’s been far away from us, deep in the recesses of the bowels of Asia. The bad news is it’s here now!

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is expected to announce this afternoon that the first case of Wuhan coronavirus has been reported in the United States, in Washington state, a federal source outside the CDC tells CNN.

The source is involved in the matter and was made aware of a CDC media briefing scheduled for later today.
The novel virus, which was first identified last month in Wuhan, China, has so far infected more than 300 people and killed six, in an outbreak that has been reported in five countries — now including the United States.
It is unclear if this person recently traveled to China, where and how they became infected, and if this person has transmitted the virus to anyone else in the United States.

Thus far, over 300 are ill — 6 dead. Not a particularly alarming kill rate; but, nonetheless, we must attempt to profit from this brand of fear now thrusted upon us. In case you’re wondering if “The Fly” is incorrigible, the answer is “indelibly yes.” I know the human toll and the pangs of misery that disease brings forth. But like any good foot solider, I have but one job to do and that is to navigate markets cleanly and with grace.

Ergo, I am opening up the Ebola playbook and giving you, gifting you some books — even though I normally never do on the free site anymore. Consider this an apocalypse special.

Here are my plays.

LAKE, APT, VRNA, NVAX, ALT, NNVC and KMDA.

I’m already up huge in LAKE and expect more gains tomorrow, as this virus hits main stream news. The fact that we have our first case in the US is enough to spook people back into their cubicles and away from airlines and coffee shops. Thus, I sold out of LK. No one in China is interested in coffee time now.

NOTE: These trades usually end fast, but could extend for several days as the fear mounts.

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5 comments

  1. ferd

    Long limes.

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  2. soupbone

    Thanks for that, man you are quick. The available and wearable now items will be hot sellers. So LAKE and APT and don’t forget to buy some actual product yourself. This shit travels by jet with people too cheap to cancel and travel anyway despite ill.

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  3. og

    Looks like it’ll give a good opportunity to get back into LK.

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  4. soupbone

    a potential SARS event is in the cards. That sort of stuff plays havoc with airlines first. (certainly not an event on BA wish list).

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  5. heckler

    Great this fucking Wutang chest fever yellow cough shit is in my backyard now. Confirmed case is same county I live in

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