iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,850 Blog Posts

Sunday Feasting is Over; It’s Time to Eat Bear Meat

I cooked an exquisite Beef Bourguignon this evening on a level that you couldn’t even begin to imagine. I started cooking at 12:30pm, staring with a homemade beef stock — made from grass fed bones and fucking marrow. Last night, as a point in fact, I marinated the beef chunks in red wine, a little garlic, onion powder, salt for tenderizing. Then I went ham fucking wild today, cooking like a master in the kitchen. Pots and pans flying all over the place. I had the flour and pepper mills doing backflips and the wine, onions, carrots, mushrooms, potatoes and bacon doing fucking somersaults. Trust me when I tell you — I am a fucking master chef, in the kitchen, angrily punching the food into the pans until it tastes good.

To top it off, I siphoned some of the fat from the stew and used it to make Yorkshire puddings. I whipped that shit up real quick, like POW, BOOM, ZAP, and next thing you know people were treating me like a fucking God in the house. I would’ve served it with red wine, but the kids don’t drink wine and my wife seems to think I’ve taken a liking to it much too fondly, looking at me sideways whenever I take a sip. So now, I’ll need to dry out for a few weeks just to prove to her I am not chemically dependent upon booze. Women.

Futures are higher. I can’t wait to bite into the heads of bears tomorrow, taring their faces off indeud.

PS: More car troubles with the Benz.

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5 comments

  1. wolfdaddy

    Best thing I did was to get rid of that high maintenance German shit. Now I drive a Honda. All of the maintenance and repair stress gone. Only thing stressful now is looking like a homosexual Hindu in my new ride

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  2. jacked rabbit

    We need your personal life to fall apart EVEN MOAR…the stocked market ain’t gonna reach stratospheric new highs on it’s own, ya know…

    Maybe a getting a good ol’ fashioned summons because of a dog attack would get us to DOW 30,000.

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  3. numbersgame

    Long: TLT, IWM ($160 calls), MU, DIS, XLF (Nov)
    Short: SPY, AMZN, XLF (Dec), IWM ($154 puts)

    Breaking news: Phase One tarde deal “close.” Deal said to be “very good”. Leaked breakthrough compromise from the “deal maker”:
    – China has agreed to let Americans own brokerage firms in Chian to invest in overpriced Chinese assets.
    – China has agreed to “buy food” from America so their peopel don’t starve and revolt
    – China promises not to buy too many manufactured goods from the US and to keep high tariffs on imported cars. This will keep American car companies from selling in China and the reduced competition between Chinese and American consumers will help keep car prices low in America.
    – China has agreed for full protection for all American IP. If any Chinese firm seems to breaks this law, a Chinese court will look into in and possibly send a discouraging note to them if found guilty
    – As a compromise from the US, the US will help China close the gap in the tech areas that the US leads by allowing Huawei and other firms to buy American chips
    – Trade deal acknowledges in writing that “Trump is the bestest President in the History of Time and also a Very Capable Genius, even more geniuser than Albert Einstein, Fig Newton, and that guy that won a lot of money on Jeopardy”

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  4. flea

    ” my wife seems to think I’ve taken a liking to it much too fondly, looking at me sideways whenever I take a sip.”

    Very easy solution dude – show her how good it is by buying something a little higher than those $9 ones you’ve been buying. Then things will reverse, but you can live with that…

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