iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,609 Blog Posts

YOU DO THE MATH: The Chinese Will Bend to the Coffee Gods

This is an easy trade for the balance of your lives. Coffee is the best beverage in the world. Anyone who drinks tea is a fucking orangutan moron.

Here are some easy facts for you fence sitters out there.

Big ass’d growth in China to come for many years, as they get fixed on ‘the bean.’

The Chinese enjoy, as a people, to drink the bean. Starfucks has over 3,600 locales and Luckin’ Coffee, China’s largest domestic chain, has 2,300. With the trade war happening and getting hot as fuck, God can only hope that Starfucks will be shut the fuck down and their assets given to LK.

Even though the Chinese seem to love the bean, per capita, we haven’t even scratched the surface here. This is like buying Starfucks in 1790.

In short LK is a lifetime hold. I cannot promise you immediate gains or even satisfaction, but I can easily demonstrate a trend to the upside. The bean will grab a hold of the Chinese by their necks and force them to consume, get them all jittery and shit, and then make them spend inordinate sums of money for shopping mall shit tier Joe. The added bonus of LK is that it’s entirely domestic. They tell Trump to fuck off with his tariffs all the time — because they do not export anything here. They’re simple bean salesmen trying to supplant and subvert an American chain trying to addict its citizens to a chemical property that they feel is their God given right.

UPDATE: I’ve been exposed.

Sometimes it sucks that I have such dedicated readers, as I am unable to forge a new persona for this younger generation. All of you old FUCKERS document my missives like it was Hemingway. It’s worth noting, I did at one point stop drinking coffee in favor of Earl Grey tea, but only because I felt I had nothing in common with homeless people who widely accepted coffee as their favorite go to beverage, after cheap whiskey. I did abstain from coffee for more than a year, only absolving this habit after I rediscovered my fondness for the bean.

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31 comments

  1. heckler

    I drink two coffee one tea per day buy I have to agree. TeaFAGS never win again!

    Good on ya Fly

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  2. mx2101

    Coffee is the only drug I have left. Sometimes the best part of my day.

    After running down the obligatory do-not do list, my primary care physician told me “but I’m not going to tell a man he can’t have a cup of coffee in the morning”.

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  3. numbersgame

    “Even though the Chinese seem to love the bean, per capita, we haven’t even scratched the surface here.”

    So the tail wags the dog? A proper theory would go like this:
    1) Chinese drink __ amount of coffe per capita
    2) Of that amount, only __ is bought at retaileers such as sbucks and LK, so there is a lot of room for growth.

    or
    1) Chinese drink __ amount of coffe per capita, which is an increase of __ over __ years ago, showing high growth

    All your graph demosntrates is that the Chinese *don’t* like coffe.

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  4. numbersgame

    Also, if your hope is that the Chinese government will screw SBUX and make *foreign owners* of “LK” stock rich in the process, you’d better read the prospectus…
    https://ibankcoin.com/flyblog/2019/05/17/ipo-alert-feelin-lucky-luckin-coffee/#comment-560814

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  5. Dr. Fly

    It’s like your playing stupid on purpose for my entertainment. Ignoring the graph that shows breakneck growth in coffee consumption was choice. Nice trolling fucked face.

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  6. jacked rabbit

    More people need to add “bean” to their lexicon…kudos.

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  7. The_Swede

    I remember when you quit drinking coffee. I also remember when you went all political journalism on us. You’ve come full circle in several ways.

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  8. juice

    El Exigente post

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOlDXx4_0DE

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  9. juice

    and there it is … a real shocker, NOT !!!

    https://twitter.com/ABC/status/1160174607644557312

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  10. omfgitsjd

    Free coffee for China as Starbucks says WTF. But, right now it is still better during a bear market than say retail (SHLDQ, JCP, REAL).

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  11. cancel19

    I like how their logo features a Buck. LOL very original!

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    • omfgitsjd

      Deer were made extinct in China, but with great luck, a french naturalist had relocated some of them to Europe for breeding. Now they are making a comeback.

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  12. jbandy

    LK is not SBUX, they don’t have destination stores the way SBUX does. What LK is doing is blanketing cities with small, pickup shops where you can drop in grab a coffee and leave. They also deliver. That’s great and all, but there are also McDonald’s, Dunkin Donuts, and tons of tea stands (who are also starting to offer coffee as well), so what’s LK’s competitive advantage? The SBUX experience is seen by the Chinese as an American luxury they like to partake in, meanwhile LK is more or less an in-and-out place to get a coffee.

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  13. mx2101

    Do you mean exposed to Lyme disease? Focus on your medical care, market will be here for another day.

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  14. mx2101

    heckler-

    A circulated scenario is Epstein provided minors and young adults to powerful people in business and politics for sexual purposes. They invested in Epstein’s hedge fund when it became apparent to them Epstein had documented the encounters on media (hard drive, USB stick, etc) . Epstein was financially comfortable and the activity remained secret.

    Something happened. Perhaps law enforcement were unaware of the powerful people, and Epstein was arrested.

    Now Law enforcement has Epstein, and they have or will soon have media with content that could bring down powerful people, perhaps even Trump.

    Task for powerful people is (1) killing Epstein, OR taking him to a place in exile where he can be completely happy doing what he loves for the rest of his life, and (2) getting the media and destroying it.

    What happens next?

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  15. mx2101

    heckler- one hypothesis is powerful people want Epstein in a place where he cannot or does not feel the need to contribute to the narrative. I need to contribute to mowing the lawn and doing chores around the house. Have a good weekend.

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  16. heckler

    I’m sure AG Bill Barr will get to the bottom of this fast!

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  17. moosh

    Why do the gurney pics have a complete drop down of sheets at the midsection of said “corpse”? Maybe he did some sort of fly shit to remove his legs without bloodshed and then hanged himself?

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