iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,609 Blog Posts

An Update on Selling My Fucking House

You’ve heard about the toil and my plight of keeping a perfectly clean and sterile home whilst trying to sell it. On Friday I was up very late cleaning, scrubbing and mopping, hard and good, in preparation of a showing on Saturday. It came and went and we assumed all went well. Our home is lovely and clean, and priced right.

This morning while taking breakfast, clad in my pajamas, a sudden key entered into my locked front door and voila! — a family of 5 appeared with an old seahag realtor — claiming to have a ‘confirmed showtime’ today. Sitting there, bellowing out from my kitchen to the front door, my wife made it perfectly clear that we were at home and the showing was for Saturday. After a brief moment, the seahag figured out she had made a grave mistake and then begged our pardon. I said we could vacate in about an hour — to which she replied ‘no, that’s too long — my clients need to buy a home today.’

What the fuck? Who buys homes on the spur of the moment like that anyway?

The family and the realtor then proceeded to loiter in front of my home for the next 20 minutes, much to the chagrin of Mrs. Fly — who then quickly ordered everyone to get up and scrub and clean and toil quickly and to be on alert for new surprise visits.

FML.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

15 comments

  1. flea

    They wanted to buy today? Should have let them in and offered them breakfast …

    • 2
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. ericbakerbruce
    ericbakerbruce

    They were probably Chinese. I don’t mean that in bad way.

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • spaceman

      Laundered Chinese money abandoning Vancouver, he could have made 200% profit!

      • 1
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. roguewave

    These are fucking relocation buyers!
    Their company is paying for them to move. They have a weekend to buy a place. They want a nice neighborhood but don’t care about much else.

    The old hag is doing her job.

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • roguewave

      schools too.
      The guy got a new job.
      They didn’t like what they saw yesterday.

      If the wife likes it; the deal won’t fall thru.
      Thank goodness you weren’t wearing a wifebeater.

      • 1
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • roguewave

      Clarification: typically the company hiring the guy, will pay all relocation costs.
      clean up, staging, their old house, selling costs, all packing and moving costs
      and commissions/costs for buying the new place.

      The realtor has a few days of work but, for a nice commission.
      They show the highest priced places first. (Same work, higher commission) (within the family’s range)
      That old hag probably made $1,000,000 last year.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. ericbakerbruce
    ericbakerbruce

    Should’ve took the $129,000, paid off your $125,000 mortgage and let the $4,000 ride on black.

    • 2
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. one-eighty

    RE agents can be terrible, especially buyers agents. They aren’t good enough to get a listing so they try to scrape together a living by lying to buyers. My worst experiences selling my home (4 so far) is with unethical and/or stupid buyers agents.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. JakeGint

    Just out of curiosity, was the realtor’s name “Ursula,” by any chance?

    ___

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. flyaway17

    I sold mine in less than 3 weeks, by myself. It was an investment property and my 24-year-old son and his 2 buddies rented it for 3 years. I got tired of being their maid, killed myself to clean each room, then posted 40 pictures of it on Zillow. Yours will sell, it only takes one!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. ferd

    Fade this bump off of Mexico tariff bs being revealed as such.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. 2 wheels

    LOL when my wife and I were house hunting 6 years ago, we accidentally did this same thing to a homeowner. The guy had obviously just smoked weed about 10 minutes before we got there. He didn’t seem embarrassed though. That house was such a piece of shit my realtor said “you are not buying this house” before we even got to the kitchen.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. ferd

    Short /es at 2889.50, tight stop at 2893.50. Burp.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"