iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,463 Blog Posts

Magic Occurred: Slept in Late — Got Ran Over By a Pair of Furry Boots — GDP Sucks

What a miracle. My coyote didn’t snap her teeth at me this morning and I slept in late. This is the first time I slept in late in years. The subsequent result…I got fucked by a pair of furry boots. I sold this DECK shit for an 8.5% loss. This is truly a harrowing experience.

The GDP came in at 4.1%. MEH — not impressed. I thought we were going 5%. Why not 6.8% like the Chinese? Back in the Obama days, people were hardened around the idea that America could never grow more than 2%. What happened? Those people should now literally kill themselves.

I must say, just about everything I own is getting mudstomped. I’m being entreated to clown slaps and I’m glad for it. Now at 30% cash, I can see a path towards my 50% target. This isn’t a market for old men like me. Let the young whipper snappers fall off the side of the boat and into the marina. I’ll be partaking in summer shenanigans.

SAAS stocks are getting killed, in spite of TEAM crushing numbers. I’ll be here with my dog food, FRPT, enjoying the views.

FUCK UGGS AND THEIR STUPID FUCKING BOOTS.

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2 comments

  1. Fidel Cash Grow

    Fuck TWTR. It never met an earnings report it couldn’t trade down more than 10% over

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  2. acehood

    Buy the mf dip in SPOT, ladies

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