Pre-Work Out Thoughts About the Market: The Ark Awaits

I like to visit the gym late night, when the criminals and the scoundrels are out and about. I’m busy during evenings now because I fashion myself to be a culinary expert now and have taken to the knife with extreme vigor as of late. Most of you man-fags believe grilling a steak and mashing some potatoes is cooking. That’s because you’re uncultured swine, undeserving of my knife. You’re better off eating from a Shake Shack establishment than messing with any good ingredients in the kitchen.

On the issue of stocks, the top performing industry over the past month is Diversified Utilities. That’s like the conservative wing of the most staid industry on the planet. Now if you couple this with the expeditious tightening of the yield curve, due to the Trump trade wars, one starts to believe the market is trying to price in recession for 2019.

If that’s the case, then we must all board the ark, long TLT — because only a few humans and animals are worth saving during the next economic recession. The Fed will implode, circle jerk around old numbers, cease to even contemplate the idea of hiking rates. Globally, bonds will be in vogue again — stockFAGS will be unmercifally beat down and destroyed, festooned across Wall Street with their tongues hanging out of their exhausted faces.

“The Fly” was born for such occasions and will be ready to lead when the time comes.

Meanwhile, off to the gym I go — heavily long and awaiting renewed parlous spirits of gauche hedonism.