iBankCoin

Futures Accelerate to the Downside After Meaningless NFP Numbers Released

Unemployment is at 3.9%, which means you should stop with your fucking #NFPGuesses threads on Twitter. I am going to kill you people for clogging up my timeline with utter horseshit. A great man once said ‘literally everyone is employed now’, and that rings especially true today. Stop making a big deal about jobs.

Here’s what you need to know this morning.

1. Yields are dropping. The 10yr is now 2.92%
2. Futures are -90.
3. Trump’s economic China hating team is in China
4. LPNT is being obliterated
5. Dollars are rising hardcore v Euro, +0.6%.

Look you, we’re in a tough tape. This isn’t 2017 and the fucking FagLords aren’t gunning the market higher each and every day anymore. This means we all need to be tactical, swap out of losers fast and try not to exhibit too much zeal when trading. Get out there and get yourselves an Exodus subscription, tap into “The Fly’s” computer brain and behold the grandeur of our AI and mean reversion algorithms.

If you’re going to do this for real — you’ll need to invest a little time and money into the damned job, god damn it.

On the bright side, it’s Friday and Derby Day is tomorrow. I reckon many of you have plans to consume some bourbon with friends and family? Cheer up, Francis, life has a multitude of enchanting things to explore. You only have to look around to appreciate it, the small reveries of life that make it all the more meaningful.

Fuck the NFP and fuck trading on Friday.

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10 comments

  1. Lyndon Keltner
    Lyndon Keltner

    The URL in my RSS feed still has downside instead of upside:

    http://ibankcoin.com/flyblog/2018/05/04/futures-accelerate-downside-meaningless-nfp-numbers-released/

    But then it looks more down than up as we speak at 9:15.

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  2. Dr. Fly

    FAKE NEWS.

    Title says FLAT

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  3. jacked rabbit

    I don’t need horses running around in a circle to drink bourbon…

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  4. Dr. Fly

    You people are crazy. It says ACCELERATING TO THE DOWNSIDE on title.

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  5. Lyndon Keltner
    Lyndon Keltner

    I’m picking up my Macchiato at this McDonald’s and this cashier was asked by her supervisor to show the customers how to use the fucking Kiosks.

    Pretty damn cruel to make someone outsource her own job to the robots.

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