Market Continues to Soar and Rip Legs and Arms Off Short Sellers — And “The Fly” Bought $BB — GET IN HERE

Markets are doing so well I just had to buy something. So I went down to my local haberdashery and asked the gent at he countertop what stock he thought was good here. Speaking in a very foreign tongue, he said something to the effect of ‘would you like to buy SIM card?’ From that I extrapolated he was trying to tell me to buy Blackberry — the Canadian cellphone makers — because nothing says ‘SIM card’ like a great Blackberry cellular device.

So I stepped in here — which is especially heartening since the stock has recently plummeted and disappointed so many people, especially Canadians.

Lovely, lovely chart

In a landscape synonymous with wasteland, Canadians are accustomed to coming in third, or not even being mentioned as part of the human race. Often times people forget they exist — because of their irrelevancy and absolute vaudeville way of life (see Newfoundland for proof).

At any rate, I thought I’d share this exciting news with you — me buying BB and all — trying to get into this awesome rally that I’ve missed inside of my FUCKING INVERSE ETFs. Calm down now. I still own a little LEDS and my other quant portfolio, the one that doesn’t get ruined by me, is up 1% today. So that’s good news, right?

Yes it is.

To the moon and beyond. May be Blackberry cellular device company retake all of its lost market share and more, relegating Apple to the shit-heap of time.