iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,417 Blog Posts

Off to Argue with an Auto-Mechanic

My vacation saga isn’t over. Now I get to drive on over to my local mechanic to publicly shame him for doing a bad job on my brakes, demand recompense, and offer him a little insight into the soul of a man without a heart.

All that aside, markets are looking ‘dreamy’ and my stocks are higher by 1.54% today. That’s not a pure gain, since 30% is in TLT/GLD fag boxes and 20% in cash. But the money that I do have invested is performing admirably in this euphoric market.

You know, seeing the market do this on a daily basis almost makes me long for the days when I managed money. The amount of money I’d be making right now would be criminal — but the downside is always around the bend. I’ve shaven off at least 100 years from my impervious life form — drolling about Wall Street in search of fortune. Believe me, it’s not a career for old men.

To make it on Wall Street, you need to be young, ignorant, and filled with alpha. Beta males get BTFO, or sent to the bond desk, where they could partake in mathematical arbitrage and pretend they actually do something for a living. If you want to make it on your own, why don’t you try picking up the phone, like a fucking man, and convince a total stranger to send you $5 million dollars — without ever meeting you?

If you can do that, then you’re worthy of my time. If not, fuck off and go blow a giraffe.

 

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21 comments

  1. mx2101

    Hah, great post Fly! What will you do if the mechanic is young, ignorant and filled with alpha?

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  2. sarcrilege

    You almost had an accident. Sue your bastard mechanic for punitive damages:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhjBlPucpd0

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  3. bushwacker2

    Who are you kidding? You’re having more fun now, than back in the day dialing for dollars and getting rejected like a kid whose momma fed him with a slingshot.

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  4. stuckcity

    5 million!!? I thought I was a big swingin d*ck raising 500 today. -Hack Broker

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  5. it is showtime

    We just inflamed the trade situation with the other major country opposing. Great stuff. The tptb (extra the) are raising equity indexes, meaning multilevel, while creating conditions for a reset point or breaking. They’re playing both sides; they’ve been doing it all along. As I said years, ago

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  6. heckler

    You should be a man and learn how to work on your own car. When the apocalyptic end times are here I’m gonna grease fucko’s like you “Mad Max” style left and right.

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    • natehois

      They’re already here, and you aren’t doing shit.

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      • heckler

        I sure as shit know how to do a brake job, brah.

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        • metalleg

          And a blow job brah.

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          • heckler

            haha. Why are you guys so pissy today, must have missed out on the rally?

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          • natehois

            I duct taped a bunch of plastic underpinnings back on my car when I went through a big puddle… so I have that going for me, which is nice

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  7. tradercaddy

    Just got back from driving I-84 through the Oregon mountains and you would have been in big trouble between Deadman’s Pass and Pendelton where there are multiple “switchbacks” with a 6% grade. There were three warnings to check your brakes before the downhill turns.

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    • heckler

      Oh Oregon! Quite possible the greatest state in the union and surely this man’s favorite. I was raised in those grassy valleys and on those high deserts.. The land of hippies, cowboys, and rivers.

      Did you have fun at the eclipse?

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  8. airborne

    More proof that FLY is a lying sack of shit. Any successful trader would not be seen taking a car to repair. Real men have the dead turd towed away and order a new car delivered.

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  9. dmfracer

    Why the fuck would I want to run other people’s money when I can make all the bank I need by me onesies

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  10. bushwacker2

    Do both. Running OPM is guaranteed dough, brah. Guy’s gotta eat and make sure there’s food on the table for the lil’ chitlins.

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