iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,510 Blog Posts

Bicycle Insanity: Were the Good Doctors in 1896 Correct?

One of my hobbies is to collect old newspapers. I find that reading the prose and the news events of yesterday, as they were written then, to be of immense entertainment. Nowadays, we fashion ourselves to be of supreme intellect, casting aspersions at our Victorian Era reprobates. But can anyone else argue the indelible fact that — at least — they knew how to build a better home back then? One hundred years hence and people still prefer the style and design of those Victorian era homes. Personally, I like a newer home — but I do enjoy looking at the old ones.

I came across this article today, which spoke of ‘bicycle insanity.’ According to the good doctors back then, women were going insane from the wheel. Apparently it was afflicting their spine, in turn, they were going insane. I am certain plenty of poor women were tossed into asylums by their husbands back then, after taking to the wheel one too many times.

Read this shit. The prose is fantastic.

Does anyone else dispute these claims? Clearly, women who take to the wheel too often are insane. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. While people do not get ‘bicycle humps’ anymore, the seats are rarely any good, which is likely the reason why so many women out there are haggardly hogging up the road, riding erratically and without decorum or respect for the road.


Clearly, insane

For some reason this reminds me of the little show given at the Hugh Mercer’s Apothecary in Fredericksburg, VA. If you’re ever in that town, definitely go check it out. Also, the local pizza shop there sells the largest pies I’ve ever seen in my life.

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9 comments

  1. derp

    Dude I live in Fredericksburg. Call Aspetto tailors and see if you can have your measurements sent there for a bespoke suit. I own several myself.

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    • Dr. Fly

      Hmm, I am there once per year, every summer. If you see an asshole in a GL450, say hi. I love your town. Great food. I go to breakfast at the chicken and waffles joint, Foode. I even love that shitty diner fixed in a trailer like setting.

      I am a big history buff, so the area is a goldmine to me — from the battlefield to G Washington’s mom’s place to his sisters. All cool.

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      • derp

        Head out west on route 3 to Culpeper to visit Belmont Farm
        Distillery. Copper pot still whiskey from Virginia corn. Don’t you date any time at the numerous micro brews. Cretins abound.

        You might even have time to head up 95N to Chevy Chase for some comet ping pong walnut sauce pizza.

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        • derp

          Don’t dare spend any time. Fucking autocorrect. See how Shareblue gets me agitated.

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  2. duuude

    Errmmm….

    Female insanity….

    Errrmmm….

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  3. sarcrilege

    It tells me that quacks of yesterday are the same quacks of today. Medical “science” still has little idea which treatments work best today and is pushing the new and flashy:
    https://tinyurl.com/lwrl9tf

    Anyone here wants smoke blown up his ass?
    https://tinyurl.com/c2lfh6e

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  4. shr1

    I think bicycle insanity afflicts both genders. They put on some gay spandex and think they own the fucking road.

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    • heaterman

      I hear you on the gay spandex!

      http://www.biketcba.org/content.aspx?page_id=22&club_id=604795&module_id=225866

      This group of malcontents rolls through our little town each year on their route up to the bridge. Snarling traffic, hogging the entire lane they are riding in with one bicycle in the center of it and generally conducting themselves as the arrogant bitches most of them are, seems to be something they actually practice for.
      Note the purpose of the group as stated on their home page!
      Sharing the road with other traffic.
      I know there are more than a few here who silently hope, under their breath, that a few of them would become ensnarled, flattened, squashed like the maggots they are and/or otherwise digested by one of the massive 100,000# pieces of farm machinery which regularly traverse our local roadways.
      One or two bikes on a road can slow things up considerably but when a group of around 500 rolls through it’s like Tour de France. Sans the roids…

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  5. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    This sounds like the Global Warming insanity going on today. Future generations will look back at us as clowns who thought the world was going to end.

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