I JUST NUCLEAR BOMBED MY ENTIRE PORTFOLIO

When I say ‘ENTIRE PORTFOLIO’, I mean it. But it’s only a small portion of my net worth. I pulled most of my money out of the market a while ago. When I managed money, I viewed investing my own money as double dipping and eschewed the practice in order to avoid conflicts of interest and distractions.

Now that I’m a full time blogger, dedicated to dealing with imbeciles in the comments section and covering fake news articles, I have all the time in the world to dedicate towards trading. But I haven’t had the itch all year, up until now.

I went all in on $UEC, based off Trump’s comments on wanting to upgrade the nuclear arsenal, inviting an 1980s style arms race. God I love first strike scenarios.

Let it all play out.

NOTE: this is an extreme dice roll and fully expect to leave this trade without my limbs.

I sold it all. I don’t give a shit about the consequences, jinxes, or timing tops, bottoms or middles. I am, the fuck, out of these stocks — which included gold, $TLT, and a sundry of shorts. All out and gone.

I never want to see you again.

Having cleaned house, I just executed the craziest trade in a long time, which will be revealed shortly. I went all in on one stock — betting on meme magic to save the day.

Quite honestly, it’s all a crapshoot at this point in the year, a laughable farce.

May the farce be with you. Ooh, the farce is strong in that one.

Off for a sandwich.

Taking into consideration that Carl now has the ear of the President elect, who happens to hate China, I think this is a credible threat to the matrix.

Attack sentinels have been dispatched to liquidate Carl, immediately. Hopefully he is equipped with an EMP weapon.

source: CNBC

“If you have a trade war with China, by definition, I remember the days something like that would really knock the hell out of the market, but maybe if you’re going to do it, you should get it over with, right? So that’s a consideration, you have to just make up your mind, if that’s what you’re going to do, you go do it,” Icahn said.

“If you’re asking me am I concerned about the market on the short term. Yeah I’m concerned about it,” he said. “You can look at so many factors here that you have to worry about.

Obviously, if you get into a trade war with China, sooner or later, I think we’re going to have to come to grips with that, maybe it’s better to do it sooner, but that’s not my decision at all. I don’t get involved with that.”

Get your popcorn ready. Two thousand and seventeen will be interesting.

During his annual marathon q and a wing the press, Vladimir Putin fielded a few questions about the US elections and laid waste to the Democratic Party, mostly ridiculing them as shameless losers who weren’t able to comport themselves properly in defeat.

He mocked the assertion that Russia hacked the elections, bringing to light the fact that republicans have made gains elsewhere aside from the executive branch.

Source: Zerohedge

“the Democratic Party lost not only the presidential election, but also elections to the Senate and Congress, where the Republicans have the majority. What is that — also our, also my work?”

“Well, the issue is not who did it but what was revealed by those hackers,” he said. “They revealed the ways the Democratic Party was manipulating public opinion while choosing its candidate. … And after the data was released, the chief of the Democratic Party’s election committee resigned. That proves the fact that the data was true. That is what is most important — not who did it.”

Further twisting the knife into the dems, Putin said “the party that is called the Democrats has clearly forgotten the original meaning of that name” and added that “the use of administrative resources (by the Democrats) is absolutely shameless.”

He even went as far as to invoke FDR into the discussion, saying he’d be rolling over in his grave over the current state of the Democratic Party, clearly taking a jab at Obama who recently said Reagan would be rolling in his had he known many republicans supported Putin.

“outstanding figures in American history from the ranks of the Democratic Party would likely be turning in their graves. Roosevelt certainly would be. They (the Democrats) are losing on all fronts and looking elsewhere for things to blame. In my view this, how shall I say it, degrades their own dignity. You have to know how to lose with dignity.”

Lastly, Putin reminded democrats that “you need to learn how to lose gracefully,” which reminded me of the immortal GREG SOLOMON video which was the destination iBankCoin would send its banned readers for reeducation purposes.

BEHOLD

You wanted to get tough on Russia, yes? Well, maybe we’ll nuke them or perhaps spend them to death, via 1980s style nuclear arms race! Either way, our first strike capabilities must be improved. Indeud.

Much to Mika’s surprise and the fucking cucks at MSNBC (look at that photo of them), Trump doubled down on his tweet, calling for an expansion of the nuclear arsenal, suggesting we’d fuck up any and all who dared get in the way of our arms race greatness.

The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regarding nukes

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 22, 2016

That tweet x 10,000=

This is actionable. For users of Exodus, stay tuned. I will be making a bold move today. If you’re not a member, take advantage of the free trial by clicking on one of the free trial ads on the side.

Maybe Donald Trump’s evil German twin brother negotiated this deal on behalf of the German bank. How in the world does the DOJ get low balled down to $3.1b from upwards of $14b?  Wait, how about I take a guess?

Total and complete horseshit in the first place.

I’ve always felt the DOJ were being assholes with $DB because of the EU’s outrageous penalty against $AAPL. Perhaps we’ll see some sort of moderation of Apple’s fine in the coming days and weeks ahead? Perhaps.

In the meantime, Deutsche Bank will pay a $3.1b civil fine, plus an additional $4.1b in relief to consumers. Considering the fact that Deutsche had set aside $5.2b for this case, I think it’s fair to say this ugliness is behind them. It’s time to move on towards new forms of ugliness, like Italian debt write downs.

“The financial consequences, if any, of the consumer relief are subject to the final terms of the settlement, and are not currently expected to have a material impact on 2016 financial results,” the bank said.

How wonderful.

Back in February of 2016, Zacks published this dandy of a news story, suggesting that total losses for RMBS were in the amount of precisely $3.1b.

U.S. District Judge Alison J. Nathan rejected Deutsche Bank’s plea to dismiss claims of Royal Park Investments SA/NV that the bank failed to undertake necessary action to push the loan sellers to replace or repurchase the bad loans. The concerned 10 trusts date between 2006 and 2007.

The lawsuit filed in June 2014 by Belgium-based Royal Park on behalf of other investors is seeking class-action status. It was alleged that Deutsche Bank National Trust Company breached contract and violated the 1939 U.S. Trust Indenture Act that specifies the duties of trustees. The bank was fully aware about the numerous deficiencies in underlying loans, including illegal loan servicing practices and noncompliance with underwriting guidelines.

Notably, the 2014 complaint stated, “due to Deutsche Bank’s inaction, the Covered Trusts have incurred losses that currently exceed $3.1 billion, and all of RPI’s (Royal Park) RMBS in the Covered Trusts are now completely worthless.”

Dax futs are flat. Shares of $DB are higher by 42% over the past 3 month. This news is already baked in.

How dare Brian Stelter, so called ‘journalist’ at CNN, retweet an obvious prank by some dipshit named Adam Saleh — over what he sensationalized to be ISLAMOPHOBIA at the hands of a fine American company called Delta Airlines.

The claim by the very flamboyant and effeminate Adam Saleh was that he was merely talking a barbarous version of Arabic to his Mother, to which was met with an unrelenting form of ISLAMOPHOBIA by the employees at Delta, who quickly ferreted him off the fucking plane for obvious fears that he was about to stage a terrorist event by way of hijacking or shoe bomb detonation.

Little did the plebian employees know that Adam was just an effete member of the youtube theatre, playing tricks on the people, hoping to cash in on his adsense ads via his stupid videos. In other words, he was full of shit. A simply cursory google search would’ve produced such valuable information, something the CNN journalist named BRIAN STELTER didn’t bother to do.

Mr. Stelter didn’t bother to do a cursory search on Adam Saleh, instead opting to RETWEET his salacious story, because he’s a very dumb man — a stone aged type of person with savage qualities occupying a very low station in life. Most of the time Mr. Stelter is busy putting out stories about FAKE NEWS, while at the same time creating his own FAKE NEWS. The main stream media today is an active practice of a nonsensical nature, very Kafkaesque for you literary and Orsen Welles aficionados.

Here’s Brian making fun of himself.

The bow-tie less Tucker Carlson calls out Mr. Stelter, and the media as a whole, for being very stupid, falling for the oldest tricks in the book.

I couldn’t care less about this, other than to out anyone intending to hurt a business without cause. What this loser, Adam Saleh, tried to do was to hurt Delta and their employees, while attempting to further divide Americans by fomenting faux ISLAMOPHOBIA.

The media ran with a fake news story from a known scam artist (Adam Saleh) to push their "Islamophobia" narrative.

Let that sink in.

— Paul Joseph Watson (@PrisonPlanet) December 22, 2016

It’s all horseshit.

Phil DeFranco calls him and the main stream media out.

Who would have known that by simply using the bully pulpit to negotiate better prices for the American people, an American President could squeeze those greedy bastards into submission.

In what is clearly becoming a trend, President-elect Trump took to Twitter today to threaten the hawks at $LMT and their absurd F-35 project, which is $100s of billions behind budget, by saying he was in talks with $BA to discuss replacing it entirely with the F-18.

Based on the tremendous cost and cost overruns of the Lockheed Martin F-35, I have asked Boeing to price-out a comparable F-18 Super Hornet!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 22, 2016

Share are down sharply in the after-hours, as a result.

Trump recently clashed with the clowns at Boeing over their Airforce 1 boondoggle, which was on schedule to cost in excess of $4b. Every since he tweeted the cost and threatened to cancel the order, Boeing reached out to Trump and issued a statement saying costs would come way down.

“We’re going to get it done for less than that, and we’re committed to working together to make sure that happens,” said Dennis Muilenburg, after the meeting at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida.

Clearly, Trump is trying to get better deals for the American people for its largest line item expense, defense spending. America has wars to fight and numerous countries to bomb. Defense spending, including the wars, nears $1 trillion per annum. Fucking ridiculous.

I met some really great Air Force GENERALS and Navy ADMIRALS today, talking about airplane capability and pricing. Very impressive people!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 22, 2016

Compare that to Russia’s $66b per annum in defense spending, and anyone can clearly see that something is off when taking into consideration the democrats’ and the media’s agenda to demonize Russia — as if they actually posed a threat to our hegemony.

Look at these god damned retail stocks. They’re crashing I tell ya, crashing!

But no one really cares anymore. Investors know the risks associated with hiking rates into a weak economy, but are consciously choosing to ignore said risks in order to partake in the grand experiment of a centrally planned global economy. We need slave labor, lots of it, and plenty of open borders.

In spite of the most important part of the U.S. economy getting nailed today, after November’s consumer spending came in must less than expected, the Dow is hardly down. Everything is just meh.

Incidentally, President elect Trump will have his hands full come January 20th, specifically with a central bank whose stated goal is now to hedge against any fiscal stimulus he enacts in office. Janet Yellen just wants to fight inflation. There’s nothing political about it, naturally.

Since election night, the 10yr bond yield has risen from 1.75% to 2.55% on the premise of stronger than expected American GDP under Trump. Pray tell me, how will this occur is the Fed continues to hike rates into a very meek consumer spending environment, one hampered by rising oil prices rigged by OPEC?

You do the math.