Markets Ted Cruz’n For a Bruisin’, Dow Drops Triple Digits

Ho-hum. The market will need to go down by one thousand to get me interested in end of days scenarios again. Most of us are too busy trying to figure out where Hillary Clinton is hiding her 666 tattoo, than whether or not stocks are fully fucking valued at 19x earnings. The whole risk off portfolio convoy of ideas is working in harmonious synchrony now. The Yen is lifting. WTI is down. Bonds are lifting, as well as gold and utility stocks.

On the other end of the see-saw is stocks. Airlines are dreadfully lower. Perhaps people are starting to get the gist that islamic terrorism is something that is accelerating and they’re opting for more road trips? Doubtful.

The truth is, sadly, very few of you are serious men. You’re mostly face painted clowns, jumping in and out of cars, with attention spans the size of beetles.

Markets are Ted Cruz’n for a bruisn’. Behold the 3:30 ramp, for we are going to destroy it today.

This is an ISIS inspired groups living in the fucking jungles of Brazil, amidst the anaconda and drug addled malcontents. They were having ‘online chats’ with some of the lads in ISIS, getting tips on how to best murder innocent people. They even went to Paraguay, in order to scope out some weapons. Brazilian authorities have arrested them and they will now undergo 10,000 hours of arduous torture.

The group did not have direct contact with IS though some of its members had made “pro forma” declarations of allegiance to the militant Islamist group, the minister said. He did not elaborate.

“Those involved participated in an online group denominated ‘the defenders of Sharia’ and were planning to acquire weapons to commit crimes in Brazil and even overseas,” Moraes told a news conference.

“It was an absolutely amateur cell, with no preparation at all, a disorganized cell,” the minister said, adding that authorities decided to intervene when the group started to plan actions.

He said members of the group had visited a weapons site in neighboring Paraguay that sells AK-47 assault rifles, but there was no evidence they acquired any weapons. Two people will be brought in for questioning, in addition to the 10 already detained, he added.

Interim President Michel Temer had called an emergency cabinet meeting following the arrests, the first under Brazil’s tough new anti-terrorism law approved this year.

The minister said the leader of the group was based in the southern Brazilian city of Curitiba, with others spread in nine Brazilian states.

Savages.

Many years ago in Exodus, back in 2009, I quarantined all stocks from China and dubbed them ‘burritos’–because you never know what you’re gonna get inside.

I’ve always found the orient to be a curious place, especially China. Their stocks are mostly scams, which is a particularly bold statement. I was an early adopter to the Chinese, having taken positions in a sundry of stocks that were domiciled in the great walled nation. I learned the hard way, through the fires, they weren’t worth my time or money.

Today, as the market caresses record highs, Chinese Burritos are running higher, with extreme prejudice.

The shit always floats to the top when we’re just about to flush. Enjoy your lunch, fucked faces.

It’s a $9 million market cap company, with 1.4 mill shares outstanding, higher by 400% today, on no news. Oh, it’s also based out of China.

What can go wrong, buying up at these levels? I can guarantee you this stock is getting to rain bloody fucking hell onto those buying now. I see this is a very actively discussed stock on StockTwits now. You’re all wanton gamblers, degenerate retrogrades of the very first magnitude.

With the recent run in the markets, the Chinese scam artists have been especially active these days. If I were you, I’d avoid this and anything domiciled out of China like the bubonic fucking plague.

Like the data, it’s just getting better. The UBS strategist can totally see the market going higher, because, umm, earnings are going to be flat. I know what you’re thinking ‘why buy into flat earnings, what am I a fucking moron?’ Well, sort of, yeah.

But flat earnings are better than down earnings, so take that.

Also, even though earnings have been flat for 4 consecutive quarters, they’re gonna be up now. So, in other words, take that.

“Essentially, that data has just improved. So post-Brexit, what’s happened? We’ve seen the labor market report improve, we’ve seen the ISM surveys, both manufacturing and nonmanufacturing improve. We’ve seen consumer spending perk up,” he told CNBC’s “Squawk Box.”

And while earnings this season thus far point to “flattish” growth, that is much better than the 6 percent decline in the first quarter, he said.

Asked what happens when analysts raise the bar for earnings, Zirin said valuations are “reasonably good” and “well supported.” So long as economic data continue to improve, the bar will not be raised too high, he added.

Earnings are poised to turn positive after a four-quarter profit recession caused in large part by a protracted oil price rout that badly bruised the energy sector and a U.S. dollar rally that hobbled multinationals, he said.

Also, the UBS guy totally thinks the Fed will hike rates soon. He said something along the lines that if we’re gonna get back to fucking normal, with markets soaring and shit, we’re gonna have to need normal rates. Ok? Like, totally, these rates aren’t fucking normal and that’s really, super, annoying.

Ugh.

What a research department, eh? They add the company to their conviction buy list after they report a blow out quarter.

Hey, I’ve got a prediction. I bet you Ted Cruz won’t endorse Trump. How’s that for balls?

Goldman likes the stocks up to $70, at which point they might scowl at the shares and possibly remove them from their list.

“We see Qualcomm as a powerful mean reversion story over the next year,” Goldman’s Simona Jankowski wrote in a note to clients Thursday.

“We expect revenue growth to accelerate into FY17 as Qualcomm’s share gains at Samsung and with Chinese OEMs overcome share loss in the iPhone (at higher ASPs) and its China royalty collections recover. … With several strong new chipset product cycles Qualcomm has regained leadership at the high end.”

The stock has a ways to go before hitting all time highs. This company has been generally regarded as a has been for the better part of the past 3 years. I’m not particularly sure why they’re all the rage now, following just 1 earnings beat. Nonetheless, the stock is off to the races today, in an otherwise listless tape.

Authorities are investigating as to the meaning of all this. I’m sure they just wanted to know his Fantasy Baseball picks.

Pretty fucked up when a serviceman can’t go for a jog in his own base without two fuckheads trying to abduct him with a knife.

British police said on Thursday they were investigating the attempted abduction of a serviceman at a Royal Air Force base in eastern England, saying they could not discount it being a terrorism incident.

The serviceman, aged in his late 20s, was jogging on Wednesday and not in uniform when he was approached by two men at RAF Marham, one of whom shouted at him and tried to grab him.

He fought off the attacker and the second man, who was armed with a knife, went to help his accomplice at which point the serviceman ran off. He was unhurt.

“I can confirm we are treating this as an attempted abduction and detailed enquiries are being carried out at the scene to establish the full circumstances,” said Detective Superintendent Paul Durham

“The motivation for the attack remains unclear at this time, and whilst we are currently unable to discount terrorism, there are a number of other possible hypotheses.”

The two men were described by police as being aged between 20 and 30 and of Middles Eastern origin in appearance.

RAF Marham is home to Britain’s Tornado GR4 Force which is involved in operations in the Middle East.

The head of Asian trading at Citi, Mohammed Apabhai is an insane man. He truly gets what is taking place in the world and I believe his mind has snapped trying to process all of it. Listen to every word this man says. If you’re unable understand what this means for markets, feel free to ask questions.

Look forward to currency wars that China will eventually win. No matter how much they devalue, no one is on the other side taking advantage of lower prices. Wow, that’s a statement. Lastly, the center of the global economic engine no longer belongs to the west. It has been ceded to Beijing.

You didn’t think I’d let Lyin’ Ted Cruz get away with being booed off stage, like a moron, without opining on the matter, did you? Here’s what happened. Rafael made a great speech. The crowd was eating up his rhetoric. The speech started to drag on and people said ‘enough of this shit. Endorse Trump.’  Ted had two choices. He could either endorse Trump and abandon the infantile NEVERTRUMP cadre of losers. Or, he could’ve lifted his middle finger to the audience and the republican nominee, Donald Trump,  in front of millions of people–leaving his reputation in ruins.

He chose the latter.

Rafael chose to make another campaign speech about himself, his fucking stupid Cuban father with a hundred bucks still sowed into his trunks, and offered little in the way of basic decency and decorum. He would’ve been far better off not making a speech at all, than to humiliate himself and his crazed Father like he did tonight.

I didn’t want to go there, inside of the bowels of the recent rally, a disgusting place filled with excessive greed and distortions, but someone had to do it. It has been a marvelous time in the markets. I hope 99% of you made some money into the teeth of a worldwide BREXIT induced panic. The other 1% of you can go fuck yourselves.

I’ve all but protested the market for the better part of 2016, and have been idled in mostly cash, TLT, and some trades here and there. At the moment, I am long EDZ, a trade that will expire by the end of this week.

The air has been flushed out of the utility sector in recent weeks. Investors are entirely justified for selling the utes, something I’ve pointed to on more than one occasion.

Over the past two weeks, the best gains have been found in tech, banks and services, mostly semis, auto dealerships, textiles, and foreign banks who were being priced for zero during the BREXIT panic.

The median return for all stocks has been +4.8% over the past two weeks.

Hitherto, energy and gold stocks fared well, but not anymore. Those fucking bastards have DIVERGED from the overall exclamatory statements of grandeur, readily found in all of the major indices. Nevertheless, no one cares about oil anymore, unless, of course, it rallies.

Biotech shares are leading today’s rally, higher by 2%. There are, however, a few dozen up greater than 5% for the session.

All in all, we’ve come to a place where news flow doesn’t directly affect the moods of robotic buyers of stocks. This is a common complaint, expressed by bears over the past two hundred years. One would be wise to ignore anyone who says “one day the fucking news will matter.” We’re all positioned for what we believe to be a future reality. What is the catalyst for higher or lower prices? One of the arch catalysts for lower prices was the BREXIT vote. How did that work out?

Stocks are at record highs.

Another catalyst was lower crude will lead to a panic on Wall Street. Well, thus far,  lower crude has only been ignored by traders. Stocks continue to climb the wall of worry.

From my vantage point, the very next catalyst to be tested will be the dollar rally and how it might deleteriously affect FOREX markets. No one is paying mind to it now. But if China devalues their yuan again and U.S. corporations start to bitch about their plight to export their fucking broken dishwashers overseas because the dollar is so awesome, we might run into some resistance soon.

Until the world ends, I remain, inexorably, aboard the S.S. ARK, eagerly in search for storms that might pose an ‘extinction level crisis’ for mankind.