Greetings and Salutations,
In spite of holiday sales reportedly being wretched for just about everyone but Amazon, Customer Growth Partners are forecasting a monstrous jump in holiday sales, up 4.9% — the highest since the go-go days of 2005.
In celebration of Santa Claus and Harry Hannukah’s Mensch on a Bench, American sales boomed by $637 billion in 2016 — the most in over a decade.
Online sales raged higher by 15%, buoyed by electronics, home improvement and toys. It’s also worth nothing, online retailers didn’t mark down too much — fleecing a slothlike public with reckless abandon.
However, since this new generation of transgender fucktards infest America without style or panache, clothing sales were weak — weak like green tea.
“If your name is Home Depot, your margins are going to be great,” Johnson said in an interview. For clothing and department-store chains, “you’re going to have trouble.”
In spite of all this so called grandeur, retails stocks have bee flummoxed in recent weeks, with Department store, footwear and home furnishing all down in excess of 10%.
The almighty $AMZN is down 1% over the past month, rendering these impressive sales numbers all for nothing — total and unequivocal shit. If you can’t trade off better than expected data, what.is.the.fucking.point?
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