Wall Street Loves Donald: ‘The Trump Trade’ Now Cited as the Best Thing Since Reagan

There’s an old saying, ‘be careful for what you ask for, you might just get it.’

The bond market collapsed today, in what could only be described as a resumption of free market capitalism, snapping out of the Obama led stupor which has mystified and stymied growth for the past 8 years. Subsequently, my bond position was crushed and markets roared like a golden haired lion towards new heights.

Just yesterday, it was feared a Trump Presidency meant a continuation of the Great Depression — bringing with it market crashes and unbelievable fuckery — as racist Americans slapped each other in the faces with confederate flags.

Today, following his magnanimous win, Trump is the new Reagan, only much better.

“When you look at Trump’s fiscal package — he’s Reagan plus infrastructure spending. He’s basically faster growth, bigger budget deficits and this probably will give us inflation,” said McCarthy. President Ronald Reagan boosted U.S. military spending dramatically before the end of the Cold War

I’d gladly swap out my money for the chance to make America great again. Without hesitation, ‘The Fly’ would permit his accounts to circumvent the drain and drift to zero, in order to prevent the annihilation of America, which would’ve happened under the very evil and satanic Hillary Clinton.

In other words, ‘The Fly’ is being sacrificed today on the god damned altar of freedom. Frenched fries are raining down on America and hammed burgers festooned on the gates of every god fearing city. The Donald is an unbelievable gift for mankind, a magnanimous person who has traveled through time to unshackle the American people from globalist scum. Because of his ascension, the divisive and racist policies of Obama and the neocon left are now behind us.

Wall Street has decided to behold the grandeur and elegance of a gigantic southern border wall, which will work towards defeating the Mexican drug cartels and exploitation of the Mexican people by our very horrible and mean multi national corporations.

If you’re wondering what happens next: no one really knows. Trump’s dynamism and ability to craft deals makes him the single best person to reignite the energetic experiment crafted upon these lands by our forefathers. Foreign entities have been defeated today and the Obama legacy forever tarnished and marred by a republic who stood up, with fists filled with cheese doodles, and said ‘enough is enough. We are going to make America great again, god damn it.’