Hillary’s Planned Election Night Celebration on the Hudson Has Been Delayed, Indefinitely

According to the NY Post, Hillary Clinton and her roaming band of criminals have been planning for a grande extravaganza on the Hudson, to celebrate her victory. The details of the plan sound like a page out of Jay Gatsby’s ‘how to throw a party’ handbook.

If she wins, there’s going to be a barge launched that will detonate aerial fireworks, not to be confused with wetworks, which will last a total of 2 minutes — in a triumphant display of grandeur and power — marking the moment both Clinton and Kaine clinched the victory.

This was all going to happen at 9:30pm, a mere 30 minutes after the polls closed — which meant she felt confident in a runaway landslide.

NYPD and the Fire Department are a little besides themselves over the arrogance of this request, according to sources at the Post.

“It’s a little presumptuous of her to plan on winning. I guess she put in for this before Friday,” one NYPD detective said.

Others said the actual election results could put a damper on things, but one firefighter raised the specter of a 2000-style recount and added, “So what’s she going to do, put the fireworks on ice?”

Another source wondered: “If she loses, will she take it over to the East Side and sell it to Trump for half-price?”

A retired firefighter said the FDNY’ s “rank and file is outraged they are being forced to do political work.”

“This will make it seem like the firefighters endorsed Hillary,” the source said.

Indeud.