Monsanto to Bayer: You Don’t Buy Us, We Buy You

Hilarious stuff out of the world’s most hated company. In an effort to remain independent and keep their top secret chimera science experiments under wraps, the Monsanto corporation is scrambling to get Bayer off their jock-strap. Instead of being acquired by Bayer for $122, Monsanto is telling its shareholders to fuck off and is considering merging with Bayer’s Frankenstonian agro-business.

The U.S. company is exploring various transactions, including the potential acquisition of BASF’s agriculture-solutions unit, the people said, asking not to be identified as the discussions are private. In return, Ludwigshafen, Germany-based BASF would likely receive newly issued shares in Monsanto, the people said. The discussions are at an early stage, and no final decisions have been made, they said. Talks with Bayer are continuing, they said.

Monsanto’s board is split over the merit of potential deals with rivals BASF and Bayer, one of the people said, with some executives keen to remain independent and others preferring a takeover. The company in May rejected a $122-a-share offer from Bayer, saying it was too low. It said in its earnings statement last month that it has been in discussions over the last several weeks with Bayer, as well as with other parties, about “alternative strategic options.”

Monsanto would likely face pressure from its shareholders if it opted to buy BASF’s division and issues shares to pay for it instead of accepting Bayer’s all-cash premium offer, one of the people said.

Monsanto doesn’t give a shit, as long as they’re permitted to continue to sue farmers and kick them off their lands for profiting from seeds that drifting into their fields by miracle or wind.